Keeping Score

From The Daily News of Saturday, July 21:

The Philadelphia Phillies lost their 10,000th game last weekend and Harold Herman, a 90-year-old fan, knows what went wrong. "It figures we
got Vince (DiMaggio), not Joe or Dom,” he told Sports Illustrated. “When
brothers played in the majors, the Phillies usually wound up with the one
who produced less. We had Harry Coveleski instead of Stan, Irish Meusel
instead of Bob, Frank Torre instead of Joe, Ken Brett instead of George,
Mike Maddux instead of Greg, Rick Surhoff instead of B.J., and Jeremy Giambi
instead of Jason. If there had been a Zeppo Alou, the Phillies would have
signed him.” . . . After loss No. 10,000 -- sheesh, think about that for a
moment or two -- the Philadelphia Daily News headlined its story: Distink
Honor.

Earlier this season, the Los Angeles Dodgers had Victoria Beckham throw out
the ceremonial first pitch at one of their home games. And what do you think
Mr. Dodger, Tommy Lasorda, had to say to Posh? According to the L.A. Times,
Lasorda offered: "You're a beautiful lady, but you're even more beautiful
wearing that Dodgers jacket." . . . No word on whether she was buying
whatever it was he was selling. . . . Mike Bianchi, in the Orlando Sentinel:
"The 2014 Winter Olympics have been awarded to Sochi, Russia, which sits on
the Black Sea and is referred to by locals as 'the Russian Riviera.' Russian
Riviera? That might be the worst oxymoron since 'family vacation.' ” . . .
When TRU’s soccer teams move to the CIS for the 2009 season, you’ve got to
think there’s a pretty good chance that Tom McManus will be involved with
coaching the women’s team, don’t you?

Darcy Tucker, the little ball of hate who once played for your Kamloops
Blazers, did some acting last week and it wasn’t on the ice. He taped an
episode of CBC’s Little Mosque on the Prairie that is to be shown at a
future date. . . . The Denver Post’s Jim Armstrong isn’t sold on David
Beckham as soccer’s saviour over here. “Come on,” Armstrong writes. “Haven’t
we been there, done this? Unless David Beckham walked here from England, he
isn’t about to turn soccer into the next big thing in the U.S.” . . .
Comedian Argus Hamilton has his own take on Beckham's arrival to boost
interest in soccer on this side of the big pond: "Just another example of
hiring an immigrant to do a job Americans refuse to do."

Gary Player, at 71 years young, plays on the Champions Tour and, ’tis said,
he still does as many as 1,000 abdominal crunches each day. Noted Joe Garvey
of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot: "John Daly, 41, looks like he does at
least 1,000 Nestle Crunches a day." . . . Congrats to Kamloops Blazers
assistant coach Andrew Milne and Erin Breitkreutz, who are to be married
tomorrow. It’s all happening at Spruce Meadows near Calgary -- yes, the
horses will all have been put away. Nothing like a new three-year contract
as a wedding present, either. . . . With the Seattle Mariners paying big
money to Ichiro, Florida Marlins president David Samson wasn't happy. "It's
a joke, it's inexcusable, it's complete mismanagement," said Samson. "It
can't be true." Gee, who would have known that Samson's weakness was a
US$90-million contract?

Notah Begay III and Tiger Woods were teammates on the Stanford golf team.
"One thing I tease Tiger about is that I did graduate with my degree,” Begay
told the Los Angeles Times. “He didn't, but he got his Masters a lot earlier
than I have." . . . After he graduates from Beverley Hills High next year,
Romeo Miller, the starting point guard on school’s basketball team, will
head for USC. Romeo Miller? He's the 17-year-old son of rapper Master P.
Romeo also is known as Lil' Romeo. Oh, and the kid tells People magazine
that because of those four albums he has on shelves, and that TV show he
does and that clothing line, well, he's got US$50 million in the bank. . . .
The New York Mets juggled their coaching staff during the all-star break,
firing hitting coach Rick Downs and replacing him with Howard Johnson. . . .
Headline at Fark.com: Howard Johnson named batting coach for N.Y. Mets.
Orange dugout roof scheduled to be installed this weekend.

With the Chicago White Sox in the midst of an abysmal season, fingers are
starting to point. “It gets to the point where you just laugh,” left-hander
Mark Buehrle said. “Knowing (general manager Kenny Williams), I wouldn't be
surprised if the whole bullpen goes. They need to ship some guys out soon.”
. . . You’ve got to wonder if the bullpen goes before ranting manager Ozzie
Guillen does. . . . Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot writes that Mark
Cuban won’t ever be allowed to own the Cubs. “Baseball's fuddy-duddy power
structure will never allow Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban to buy the
Chicago Cubs," noted Molinaro. "Whatever else you think of him, Cuban is a
21st-century thinker trying to break into a sport that, in some ways, still
embraces the ’90s. The 1890s." . . . You may have noticed that Baltimore
Orioles southpaw Erik Bedard struck out 15 Texas Rangers a couple of weeks
ago. Neil Munro of North Bay, Ont., has that as a record for a Canadian in the major leagues.
Ferguson Jenkins struck out 14 on three occasions. . . . That same weekend,
Minnesota Twins first baseman Justin Morneau had a three-home run game,
something that fellow-Canadian Larry Walker did three times during his
career, according to the Toronto Sun's Bob Elliott.

Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: "You know who's a happy guy,
despite the Yankees' mediocre record? A-Rod. Because it's all about him
now." . . . One more from Lupica: "Until Prince William officially patches
it up with Kate Middleton, I think Prince Fielder is having a much better
year." . . . Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “Dallas Mavericks owner Mark
Cuban has applied to buy the Chicago Cubs. To show he’s serious, Cuban
already has begun criticizing NL umpires.” . . . The last word this week
goes to Cote: “Had the weirdest dream last night. Dreamt that Pacman Jones
was bitten by Michael Vick’s dog while trying to steal Tank Johnson’s gun.”