Keeping Score

From The Daily News of Saturday, Sept. 22, 2007 . . .

Let’s just say it was not a good week for New England Patriots head coach
Bill Belichick on the pages of North American’s fish wrappers. . . . Greg
Cote, in the Miami Herald: “In the Women’s World Cup in China, officials
from the Denmark team caught two men with video cameras behind a two-way
mirror before the team’s strategy meeting for a match against China. The
Chinese team had no involvement, according to representative Li-Ying
Belichick.” . . . Headline at fark.com: Chinese team coach Chen-Ming
Belichick angrily denies the accusations. . . . One more from Cote: “In
Formula One auto racing, Team McLaren has been fined a record $100 million
for spying on rival Ferrari. However, it was all a big misunderstanding and
a matter of misinterpreting the rules, according to McLaren representative
Giuseppe Belichick.”

After O.J. Simpson was arrested on armed robbery charges in Las Vegas,
NBC-TV’s Jay Leno noted: “There’s a lot of different versions of what
happened but, luckily, Patriots coach Bill Belichick was there and
videotaped the whole thing.” . . . Talk about caught in the middle: Mark
Shapiro, the Cleveland Indians’ general manager, is a brother-in-law of New
York Jets head coach Eric Mangini and a best friend of Scott Pioli, the
Patriots’ vice-president of player personnel. . . . How dominating was Tiger
Woods in the just-completed — it is over, isn’t it? — PGA season? He played
16 tournaments and won $10,867,052. Phil Mickelson and Vijay Singh, who
finished Nos. 2 and 3 on the dough list, played in a combined 48 events and
won $10,548,364. . . . Hockey Night in Canada’s first telecast of the season
is Sept. 29 when the Anaheim Ducks and Los Angeles Kings meet in London,
England. Jim Hughson will call the play, with analysis by Greg Millen.

Dario Franchitti wrapped up the IndyCar title earlier this month. And, as
Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel wrote: "Word then spread that
he'll be switching to NASCAR. He wants to see what it's like to drive when
people are watching." . . . As Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press
pointed out: "NASCAR has the Earnhardts, the Pettys, the Jarretts ˜ why not
the Judds?" . . . Manchester U manager Sir Alex Ferguson recently was
assaulted by Kevin Reynolds, 43, who is a Scot and homeless — not that those
two points are related or anything — and was called a "fighting drunk" in
court. It seems that Reynolds punched Sir Alex in the groin. As Ian Hamilton
of the Regina Leader-Post noted: "Reynolds pleaded guilty to assault and
then was red-carded for a hand-ball in the area."

A happy birthday to Tommy Lasorda, the man who bleeds Dodgers blue. He turns
80 today. His response to a question — What did you think of Dave Kingman’s
performance? — after a June 4, 1976 game in which Kong went deep three times
is a baseball classic. . . . The Los Angeles Kings have unveiled a new
mascot, a 6-foot-0 lion named Bailey. The mascot is named after one of the
hockey world's all-time favourite people, former player and scout Ace
Bailey. He was in one of the 9/11 planes.

Dave Thomas, in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram: "You're the quarterback and
your team is down five points, it's the final two minutes and you're inside
your own 10. You're pinch-hitting in the bottom of the ninth with
two outs and the tying run on third and the winning run on second. Those
aren't pressure situations compared to singing at (Luciano) Pavarotti's
funeral." . . . Tiger Woods wants to spend more time at home with his wife
and infant daughter, so he’s going to walk away from golf for a couple of
months. Upon hearing that, Seattle Times reader Janice Hough noted: "In a
prepared statement, fellow PGA Tour players applauded Tiger's decision and
urged him to keep having more children." . . . Garinger High School in South
Carolina had to move a scheduled football game last week because there had
been too many recent goose visits to its field. The headline in the San
Diego Tribune: Too pooped to play.

Frank Fitzpatrick, in the Philadelphia Inquirer: “In their perpetual search
for goons, the Flyers have signed players who fought with opponents, fans,
cops, spouses, even bar patrons. But until Steve Downie I don’t believe they
ever had one who earned a suspension for fighting on the ice with a
teammate. One suspects that given this evolutionary flow, the Flyers will
soon be drafting a boxing kangaroo.” . . . Don’t be surprised if former
Toronto Blue Jays player and manager Buck Martinez is the next manager of
the Kansas City Royals, replacing Buddy Bell, who has said he is done after
this season. . . . In case you don’t think football coaches have a weird
perspective on life, here’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Jon Gruden after
last weekend’s game: "We need to quit getting hurt. It's ridiculous. We get
too many guys hurt, and that's something that's got to stop. That's one
thing we've got to improve upon.” . . . OK, Chuckie. What’s the first step
in improving on that?

Scott Ostler, in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Memo to Indiana Pacers‚
forward Shawne Williams: If you’re going to drive your car with no driver’s
licence, expired plates, and a stash of marijuana, you might want to
consider using your turn signal. It’s the little stick on the left side.” .
. . No turn signal? Hmm, you may have seen Williams driving around Kamloops.
. . . Shaw Cable released its WHL telecast schedule the other day. No word,
however, on how many games Dan Russell, the host of the Canucks Talk open
mouth radio show, will do. . . . We started with Cote, we’ll close with him,
too: "The WNBA, in the midst of its championship finals, is concerned it
might lose several of its top players to higher-paying leagues overseas,
including (Note to self: Look up names of top WNBA players)."