Keeping Score

From The Daily News of Saturday, Oct. 6, 2007 . . .

From June through the end of September, six players off the U of Texas Longhorns football team were arrested, which resulted in Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel writing: "Now we know why they don orange jerseys, right? Because they can wear them to the game on Saturdays and to pick up roadside trash on Sundays.'' . . . Last month, Teri and Paul Fields of Michigan City, Ind., welcomed a son into their world. Yes, they named him Wrigley. . . . Spent a few days in Jasper last week. Saw lots of elk, a few California bighorn sheep, one bear and a whole bunch of stupid people. What is it that makes people ignore signs and go wandering among a herd of elk? . . . Did you know: In his college days at Tennessee, Colorado Rockies veteran first baseman Todd Helton backed up quarterback Peyton Manning. . . . As well, Colorado rookie Seth Smith, a September callup whose bat earned him a spot on the playoff roster, backed up Eli Manning at Mississippi.

Wondering why the Atlanta Braves won’t re-sign outfielder Andruw Jones? Well, he’s 31 now. And this season he made US$13.5 million while hitting .222, albeit with 26 homers and 94 RBI. But his agent, that would be, yes, Scott Boras, is looking for a seven-year, $140-million deal. . . . Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “Hockey great Gordie Howe is suing a Michigan neighbour whom he claims is invading his privacy by spying on his activities and constantly photographing his house. Which is weird. Who knew Bill Belichick even lived in Michigan?” . . . One more from Cote: “American cyclist Floyd Landis has become the first Tour de France winner in 105 years to lose the title over cheating. The synthetic testosterone was bad enough. But what really crossed the line were those miniature twin jet engines installed on the bike by Landis chief mechanic Al Belichick.”

Steve Simmons, in the Toronto Sun: "The Hamilton Tiger-Cats are a team divided. Half the team can't stand new quarterback Casey Printers, the other half merely dislikes him." . . . Jerry Greene, in the Orlando Sentinel: “This is how Leigh Steinberg earns his big bucks. When asked about Ricky Williams trying to get back into the NFL, Steinberg pointed out that ‘aside from one unfortunate season, he’s never missed a day of training camp.’ ” . . . With Michael Vick having tested positive for marijuana use, does that mean we are in for another sincere apology? . . . How about an NFL team with Vick and Williams in the same backfield? Perhaps they’d be nicknamed Smoke and Mirrors, or maybe Cheech and Chong?

ESPN analyst Emmitt Smith, on NFL Countdown a couple of weeks back, noted that “you cannot change the stripes of a leopard.” To which Tony Augusty of the Detroit News noted: "Um, that's probably because leopards' coats are spotty, Emmitt. Kind of like your broadcasting work." . . . One headline from Monday’s New York Post: What A Choke. . . . Another headline from Monday’s Post: Amazin Disgrace. . . . A week ago today, the Post and New York Daily News both went with: You Gotta Bereave. . . . Headline at Fark.com: Hillary so far ahead of Barack in the polls it's like being up seven games with 17 to play. . . . Looking for a few minutes of entertaining reading? Check out The Sports Curmudgeon (sportscurmudgeon.com/blog/) and read his piece headlined: The Mount Rushmore of Sports Villains. . . . And don’t miss the comment attached to it from Rich in Las Vegas.

After Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton proposed that every baby born in the U.S. be given $5,000, NBC's Jay Leno suggested: "$5,000 for every baby? That could bankrupt the NBA." . . . Do you suppose ol' Hill wants to pay the kids in Canadian or U.S. greenbacks? . . . The St. Louis Post-Dispatch’s Jeff Gordon, after the New York Giants put a lickin’ on the Philly Eagles on Sunday: “Are the Giants done sacking Donovan McNabb yet? Or are they waiting for him outside his house, ready for more takedowns?” . . . Detroit Lions wide receiver Roy Williams, who makes a pretty penny, admits to Detroit radio station WDFN that he counts his pennies: "The pizza man knows when he comes to my address, he's coming for free. But I am real polite and I say, 'Thank you, sir.’ ” . . . After Mike Weir beat Tiger Woods head-to-head on Sunday but couldn't stop the U.S. from winning the Presidents Cup, the Winnipeg Free Press went with this headline: Weir No. 1 . . . we're No. 2.

Jeff Schultz, in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “The NHL has trouble
getting attention in the United States. So the league decided to open the
season in London. Well. That makes sense. I figured between the loss of an ESPN contract and post-lockout fallout that the NHL couldn’t fall further
off the radar, but Gary Bettman met the challenge.” . . . Jay Mariotti, in the Chicago Sun-Times, on the state of Da Bears: “Other than trying (kick-returner) Devin Hester as an option quarterback, then having Devin Hester either pitch the ball to Devin Hester or throw the ball to Devin Hester, I don’t know what to tell you. Brian Griese was every bit as stinky Sunday as the Rex-terminator on his worst days, leading to a hopeless conclusion. The Bears are screwed.” . . . And then there’s Steve Rosenbloom of ChicagoSports.com, who summed up Da Bears’ offence like this: "A journeyman quarterback and receivers from the University of Venus de Milo." . . . When someone confesses to something that the entire world already knows is it still a confession? That's what Marion Jones has to ask herself if she ever looks in a mirror.

By now you've seen the video of San Diego Padres outfielder Milton Bradley tearing an ACL in that dustup by first base. As Marc Tandan of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot noted: "The only game Bradley will be playing any time soon is Operation." . . . If Major League Baseball had video review, might the San Diego Padres and Colorado Rockies still be playing that sudden-death game? . . . Scott Ostler, in the San Francisco Chronicle: “I’m nervous. I have a few O.J. Simpson bubblegum cards in my collection, stored away somewhere in the garage, and you never know when the Juice and his pals might come a-knocking.’ ” . . . Jerry Crowe, in the Los Angeles Times: “Even the hard-to-convince Phil Spector jury probably would agree that the New England Patriots were guilty of some type of crime when they plucked Randy Moss from the Oakland Raiders for a fourth-round draft pick.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.