Keeping Score

From The Daily News of Saturday, Nov. 3, 2007. . . .

So you’re going to a Los Angeles Lakers game at Staples Center and you’re thinking you’ll take advantage of the valet parking. Sorry. It’s available only to season-ticket holders. Besides, the price is $110 a game. . . . When there are tornado warnings in Indiana, evacuees have begun heading for Notre Dame Stadium in South Bend. As comedian Argus Hamilton explains: “Nobody believes there’ll be a touchdown there.” . . . As for Beijing’s attempts to clean the air before the 2008 Olympic Summer Games, Hamilton notes: “Nothing is more embarrassing for the host country than when a javelin gets stuck in the smog.”
Drag racer Randy McCorkle, who died of lung cancer in March, wanted his ashes scattered at Rockingham, N.C., Dragway. So, according to the Fayetteville Observer, Quain Stott did just that during a recent run, at 234 miles per hour. As the Seattle Times’ Dwight Perry put it: “Even grizzled gearheads were left dewy-eyed, saying they’ve never seen a guy haul ash like that before.” . . . One more from Perry: “Boston police arrested 37 overzealous fans in the wee hours Monday morning after the Red Sox captured their second World Series in four years. Asked to explain their clients’ nutty behavior, defence lawyers shrugged and said it was just many being Manny.” . . . Social note: It might be that Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are an item. Following a night out, the New York Post reported: “Ashley drank red wine and sat on his lap, and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.” The Post didn’t report whether they left in a vehicle or on a bicycle.
Try to figure out this one: The Dallas Cowboys have signed quarterback Tony Romo to a six-year deal worth $67 million, which is $7 million more than quarterback Tom Brady’s six-year contract with the New England Patriots. . . . Joe Torre walks. Joe Girardi replaces him. Don Mattingly walks. A-Rod walks. Grady Little walks out in L.A. Torre moves to L.A. Maybe. . . . Curt Schilling takes his bloody sock and leaves Boston. . . . Wake me when spring training begins. . . . Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times, earlier this week as the Lakers opened the NBA season with a loss and Torre appeared poised to take over the Dodgers: “It was a new day in Los Angeles sports, indeed, our two most celebrated franchises changing places and paces, the Dodgers speeding up into the carpool lane, the Lakers slowing down on to the shoulder, nothing as it seems. The beginning of the Lakers’ season felt like an ending. The end of the Dodgers’ season felt like a beginning.”
Scott Miller of CBS Sports, after A-Rod announced during Game 4 of the World Series that he was bailing on the Yankees: “It’s an incredibly selfish act by an incredibly selfish man, and no matter what kind of spin he attempts to put on this one, it will only be one more disingenuous and vacuous comment from an empty silk suit.” . . . And here’s Schilling’s take on A-Rod bailing: “It wasn’t unexpected. Between them and the Yankees making sure we were updated every 15 minutes about when they were actually going to name their manager, I didn’t give a crap. Bottom line was they’re playing golf and making organizational decisions and we’re still playing games.” . . . And how many of you give a crap about where Schilling will pitch next season? . . . Shannon Sharpe of Sirius NFL Radio pretty much sums up Sunday’s NFL game between the Patriots (8-0) and Indianapolis Colts (7-0): “If this was cartoons, this is Godzilla vs. Megalon.”
Congrats to Kelly Moore, the program director over at Country 103, for being nominated for a BCCMA award as On Air Personality of the Year. Ol’ Kel-Bob, aka Little Rig, didn’t win, but you just know he had some fun in the big smoke. . . . New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees owns homes in San Diego and New Orleans, and he’s seen the fire and he’s seen the rain. Last week, the former was threatened by fire and the latter had water in its basement from an ugly rainstorm. . . . Meanwhile, Jay Glazer at FoxSports.com had the story of San Diego Chargers special teams coach Steve Crosby whose wife found a hippo in their swimming pool. According to Glazer’s story, the Crosbys live near the San Diego Wild Animal Park and fires caused some openings in the park enclosures, allowing some of the animals to wander away. . . . Except that USAToday.com later reported that the San Diego Wild Animal Park didn’t have any hippos. . . . Must have been an elephant in the pool.
The TRU WolfPack women’s basketball team opened the Canada West season last week without its best player for the last three seasons. Kelley O’Grady, it seems, left the team before it headed for Abbotsford. And there wasn’t a peep from the school’s athletic department prior to the weekend. Which begs this question: How did the CIS ever allow TRU to become a member without first making sure the school would hire a fulltime sports information officer? . . . Syndicated columnist Norman Chad: “When they whined about The Curse of the Bambino, Red Sox fans were self-pitying but somewhat lovable. These days, they are just cocky and obnoxious. Now I know why Shelley Long left Cheers.” . . . Peter King, at si.com: “Congratulations on your obviously joyous nuptials Saturday night, my neighbors on the 22nd floor of the Charlotte Westin. Incredibly joyous, obviously, because you were still sharing the joy with all of us non-invitees Sunday morning at 7:45.”
Kevin Paul Dupont in the Boston Globe reports that the Boston Bruins have around 4,000 season-ticket holders, then adds: “By recent expansion standards, a city would not be awarded an NHL franchise if it had only 4,000 season-ticket subscriptions.” . . . Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “First NASCAR drops Winston and Busch as title sponsors. Now they’re letting in all these foreign stars like Juan Pablo Montoya, Dario Franchitti and Jacques Villeneuve. Geez! Much more of this and any self-respecting, Confederate flag-waving redneck may have to go find himself a new sport!” . . . One more from Cote: “New York Post reported Michael Vick has bought a place in the Icon, a South Beach high-rise. My question: Who let the dog in?”
Social note: New York Giants defensive lineman Michael Strahan, who recently went through an ugly, ugly divorce (it made for great reading in the New York tabloids), and Nicole Murphy, the ex-wife of used-to-be actor Eddie Murphy, are a red-hot item. . . . In Kansas high school football, Smith Center bounced Plainville 86-0 the other day. Six first-quarter turnovers and Smith Center led 72-0 going into the second quarter. Yes, that’s a U.S. record for points in a quarter. . . . Smith Center has outscored opponents 640-0 this season. . . . In a related story, Smith Center will replace the Miami Dolphins as the Buffalo Bills’ opponent Nov. 11.

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.