Dwight Perry, in the Seattle Times: “Security at Giants Stadium will be
beefed up at Jets games, Newsday reported, after complaints that male fans
gather on a concourse near Gate D at halftime and shout at women to show
their breasts. Police won’t reveal their plans, but it’s reportedly a
cover-2 scheme.” . . . As Pete McEntegart of SI.com noted: “Hey, maybe the
Patriots weren’t filming defensive signals after all.” . . . After Barry
Bonds, MLB’s all-time home run leader, was indicted on perjury charges,
Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen noted: “His legal team is claiming it wasn’t
his urine. ‘If it is not his pee, you must set him free.’ ” . . . During the
recent Hockey Hall of Fame induction ceremonies, David Fay of the Washington
Times was honoured posthumously with the Elmer Ferguson Award. Fay, who
covered the Capitals, was battling cancer when he got a text message from
team owner Ted Leonsis asking: “Are you in pain?” To which Fay, after giving
it some thought, replied: “Only when you are on the power play.”
So we’re walking into Safeway one evening and the young man entering in
front of us stops to hawk a looger. Right in front of the doors. Sheesh,
what is wrong with people today? . . . Two days later, same Safeway. Young
man sitting out front having a smoke. And spitting. Lovely. . . . Former
NHLer Matthew Barnaby, in a recent radio interview with the Fan 590 in
Toronto: “Kevin Constantine was the best X’s and O’s coach I ever played for
and Kevin Constantine was the worst coach I ever played for.” . . . In a
game earlier this season, Utah, leading Wyoming 43-0, tried an onside kick.
Wyoming head coach Joe Glenn responded by flipping the bird at the Utes
bench, an act for which he later apologized. To which Jerry Greene of The
Orlando Sentinel noted: “He should have apologized for not using both
hands.”
Mark Kriegel, of FoxSports.com, after the Pittsburgh Steelers beat up on the
Miami Dolphins to the tune of, uhh, 3-0: “Monday night’s thriller between
Pittsburgh and the Fish was still a scoreless tie when I finally fell
asleep. Must’ve been around the eighth inning.” . . . Do you think Monday
Night Football’s games can get any worse? Maybe they should show a Grey Cup
replay on Monday. . . . The NFL Network has reported that the Philadelphia
Eagles were trying to unload quarterback Donovan McNabb at the trade
deadline, for three first-round draft picks. “See, that’s the difference
between real life and Fantasy League,” wrote Jeff Schultz of The Atlanta
Journal-Constitution. “In one league I’m in, an owner is offering McNabb ‘to
anyone who wants him for any marginally useful player.’ “ . . . To celebrate
American Thanksgiving, the New York Post put a picture of a turkey on its
back page, with Isiah Thomas¹s head on it. The headline: Stick a fork in
Isiah . . . He’s done.
Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “I don’t want to suggest that
hockey isn’t the national pastime in New York, but we got three hockey game
stories onto half-a-page in yesterday’s paper. Hey, newsprint still costs
money.” . . . One more from Lupica: “When the Patriots do play the Jets in
Foxborough (on Dec. 15), the over-under number just for the Patriots is
going to look like something that should belong to the Phoenix Suns.” . . .
If the three Toronto sports networks tried really hard, they could likely
provide us with more coverage of the Toronto Maple Laffs and the future of
GM John Ferguson Jr. . . . These days, there is nothing that compares with
the bloodletting as the U.S. college football season winds down. Let’s see
you try to keep track of which coaches have been fired. . . . Mike Bianchi,
in the Orlando Sentinel: “Most clever sign of the week held up by a Michigan
fan at (the recent) game against Ohio State: We want a new Carr with Les
Miles.”
With the whole world caught up in talk about greenhouse gases, is it really
a surprise that Eric Tillman and the Saskatchewan Roughriders won the Grey
Cup? . . . Jack Todd of the Montreal Gazette, summing up the Grey Cup game:
”Total offensive points, first half, both teams? Six. Total drops? Too many
to count. Excitement quotient? Significantly less than Heidi. Even Lenny
Kravitz’s boring retread of a halftime show (what’s it been? Forty years
since guys starting playing those guitar licks?) was better than the game.”
. . . If you were wondering, the headline on the front page of Monday’s
Regina Leader-Post was: SaskatcheWIN. . . . . Bill Lankhof, in the Toronto
Sun: “And so the Grey Cup parade goes west: Gentlemen, start your combines.”
. .. . New York Rangers veteran sniper Brendan Shanahan, with more than 600
goals under his belt, once approached antagonist Sean Avery and offered to
help him with his shot. According to Men’s Vogue, Avery said: “No, I know
what I need to do, I don’t need any help.” . . . Shanahan told the magazine:
”I thought, ‘You have a 600-goal scorer thinking about you, and you’re not
willing to listen to what he has to say?’ “ . . . Avery later approached
Shanahan and asked for suggestions. Shanahan’s response: “I said, ‘It’s all
right, you know what to do, you don’t need my help.’ “
It was just last week when British singer Tony Henry sang the Croatian
anthem prior to that country’s Euro 2008 qualifier against England. Media
reports indicate that Henry made a mistake in the anthem. At one point, he
should have sung “mila kuda si planina,” but came out with “mila kura si
planina.” The former translates to: “You know, my dear, how we love your
mountains.” The latter: “My dear, my penis is a mountain.” . . . Is it any
wonder, then, that the Croats went out and beat England 3-2, meaning England
won’t be in Euro 2008? . . . Michael Vick spent the American Thanksgiving
holiday at the Northern Neck Regional Jail in Warshaw, Va. According to
comedian Dennis Miller, “Prison officials said they’re not treating their
celebrity inmate any differently, although they did allow him the small joy
of electrocuting the turkey.”
Gregg Drinnan is sports editor
of The Daily News. He is at
gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.
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