Keeping Score

From The Daily News of Saturday, Dec. 8, 2007. . . .

After the Baseball Hall of Fame’s veterans committee chose to induct former commissioner Bowie Kuhn and not former players’ association boss Marvin Miller, John Helyar of ESPN.com reacted with: “What? The late commissioner compiled a lifetime batting average of .000 against Miller in baseball’s pivotal labor battles of the 1970s and ’80s. As the intrepid head of the players union, Miller reshaped the sport’s economics. As the inept figurehead of the owners, Kuhn tried to preserve the status quo. And lost every time.” . . . Murray Chass of the New York Times wrote that not electing Miller “defies reasonable and logical explanation. The National Baseball Hall of Fame has become a national joke.” Chass is a member of the hall; he is in the writers’ wing. . . . Sign in the stands at the Monday Night Football game between the New England Patriots and the Ravens in Baltimore: We had better signs, but Belichick stole them.
The Florida Marlins traded two of the best young players in baseball — starter Dontrelle Willis and slugging third baseman Miguel Cabrera — to the Detroit Tigers this week. And you thought the Montreal Expos were dead and buried. . . . Syndicated columnist Norman Chad, on Dallas Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips: “When the Cowboys get a big score or a big stop, he always looks as if he’s just heard his name called on The Price is Right.” . . . Canadian Business magazine in its ninth annual ranking of the richest Canadians has Bob Gaglardi in 45th spot — up 19 spots from 2006 — with an estimated net worth of $1.16 billion. His son, Tom, the Kamloops Blazers’ majority owner, is the heir apparent to the Northland Properties business empire. A story in the same issue, headlined Can Tom Gaglardi Really Outdo His Old Man?, features a picture of Tom, wearing a Kamloops Blazers track suit and leaning on his Bentley, but the only team mentioned in the piece is the Vancouver Canucks.
“I have been doing some etymological research into the evolutionary development of the Italian language,” notes The Sports Curmudgeon, “and have come to the following conclusion: Latte comes from an Etruscan word meaning, ‘Dude, you paid way too much for that coffee.’ ” . . . Jiggs McDonald, a former NHL play-by-play man, has suggested that players should take off their helmets when participating in a shootout. Now that’s a good idea, and one that should be quickly adopted by the WHL. . . . Elliott Harris, in the Chicago Sun-Times, after Barbara Walters named Becks and Posh among 2007’s most-fascinating personalities. “Maybe Walters is trying to wrangle her way into the pop music scene as a wannabe Spice Girls member (Baby, Ginger, Scary and Sporty being the others). Walters would seem a natural to join the group. She could be Old Spice.” . . . It’s England’s Ricky Hatton (43-0) against WBC welterweight champion Floyd Mayweather (38-0) tonight in Las Vegas. As Hatton puts it: “Somebody’s ‘0’ has got to go.”
Jeff Schultz, in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “Andruw Jones is still looking for a five-year deal worth over $90 million, according to his agent, the Easter Bunny.” . . . In the end, the Easter Bunny came through for Jones, getting him $36.2 million over two years from the Los Angeles Dodgers. . . . HBO has announced that it plans to make a movie about Barry Bonds. To which Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch responded: “Needed: One actor with a huge melon . . . Perhaps Bonds’ role could go to the guy in the Jack in the Box commercials — you know, Jack.” . . . Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel has some suggested titles for HBO’s Bonds movie: “1. The Lyin’ King; 2. Swindler’s List; 3. Honey, Will You Shrink My Head?” . . . On the subject of sporting-type movies, Jake Gyllenhaal apparently has signed to play Joe Namath in a tale about the former NFL quarterback.
Two weeks ago, Keith Olbermann, who is part of NBC-TV’s NFL studio show, wondered why the Denver Broncos would kick the football to Devin Hester, who had scored two Chicago Bears’ touchdowns on returns. “Do they not get the highlights west of the Rockies?” Olbermann wondered. . . . OK, folks, what is wrong with that statement? . . . “I’ve never had a failure in my life,” former CFL and NFL quarterback Joe Thiesmann told the International Youth Sports Congress in Orlando, Fla. “I have had educational opportunities that didn’t go my way.” . . . Will Leitch, over at Deadspin.com: “For those of you who take your musical cues from the National Football League, you should be happy this year: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are playing the halftime show. Well, at least your dad will be happy. If he’s stoned.”
Robert Cade, the inventor of Gatorade, died last week. As Drew Curtis of fark.com put it: “Remains will be cremated, and the ashes will be dumped over some coach’s head.’’ . . . From the Edmonton Journal’s Sports Venting column, in which fans call in with their opinions: “Congratulations to the people of Saskatchewan on the ’Riders’ victory, and for avoiding the usual post-game riot. It was nice to see the streets of Regina were not littered with overturned tractors, burning outhouses and tipped cows.” . . . Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon StarPhoenix: “Is it just me, or did Sidney Crosby generate more excitement on the Prairies than the invention of the half-ton truck?”
The KMHA underage-drinking scandal is beginning to make news on the blogosphere. Here’s Barry Baker, who blogs at www.rightupyouralley.ca/kamloops: “Now word comes from B.C. Hockey that it won’t get involved in the matter, but will instead stand mute while the Kamloops Minor Hockey Ass. discredits sport in the Tournament Capital. Who needs Michael Vick when we can set our own bad examples so close to home?” . . . Dennis Miller, on his Sports Unfiltered show from Versus: “The international track and field council has voided all of Marion Jones’ results dating back to the year 2000. To her credit, Jones has taken the punishment like a man.” . . . You have to wonder if Eli Manning would rather John Hufnagel was back as the New York Giants’ QB coach rather than with the Calgary Stampeders as GM and head coach. . . . For sale somewhere on the Internet: A half-eaten corn cob, an unfinished bottle of pop and a single french fry, all supposedly discarded by David Beckham on a recent trip to New Zealand. “It doesn’t seem like much,” Mike Finger of the San Antonio Express-News writes, “but for his wife, that’s an entire meal.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at
gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.