Keeping Score

From The Daily News of Saturday, March 15, 2008 . . .

During a Minnesota Twins' spring training game in Fort Myers, Fla., a woman held up a sign that read: "Marry Me Morneau." Charley Walters of the St. Paul Pioneer Press noted: "On the sign's other side: 'Marry Me Mauer.' " . . . Spring officially has arrived; at least, it has if the loud, vibrating vehicle beside you at the intersection means anything. . . . Jeff Gordon, in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: "Are the Cards serious about bringing back Sidney Ponson? Does the team realize that his name was NOT in the Mitchell Report?" . . . The Cards ended up lucking out because Ponson signed with the Texas Rangers. . . . After the Seattle Seahawks signed running backs Julius Jones and T.J. Duckett, adding them to a roster that already included Shaun Alexander and Maurice Morris, David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram wondered: "What, are the Seahawks planning on running the wishbone next season?" . . . Likely not, but if Alexander owes you any money you should be thinking about getting it now.

Chicago Cubs outfielder Felix Pie spent some time on the sidelines this spring with a twisted testicle. . . . "Has to make you wonder," wrote Elliott Harris of the Chicago Sun-Times, "why that never was a problem for Chubby Checker." . . . According to Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post: "(Pie) reportedly was having trouble picking up the rotation on the ball." . . . Scott Ostler, of the San Francisco Chronicle: "If (Roger) Clemens is sentenced to prison and winds up in solitary confinement, will he be considered the ace in the hole?" . . . One more from Ostler: "Travis Buck describes to a local writer the first yoga class he and (Oakland) A's teammate Dan Johnson attended during the offseason: "It was just me and Dan and a lot of old women." That's so sweet! Those old women will really appreciate the mention."

According to The Hockey News, the five best names in hockey are: 5. Bear Trapp (NCAA); 4. Ben Blood (USHL); 3. Ville-Vesa Vainiola (Finnish League); 2. Kamil Kreps (NHL); 1. Bobby Bolt (ECHL). . . . It would seem The Hockey News' folks haven't heard of Kootenay Ice forward Steele Boomer. . . . Bear Trapp, by the way, is the grandson of former Hockey Canada head scout Barry
Trapp, who now works for the Phoenix Coyotes. . . . You have to admit that this year's Scotties Tournament of Hearts wasn't the same without Colleen Jones there, especially with her former rinkmates Mary-Anne Arsenault, Nancy Delahunt and Kim Kelly competing. It turns out we won't see Delahunt and Kelly there again as both have chosen to retire from competitive curling. . . . By the way, the star of this week's Brier has been Russ Howard. His work as a TSN analyst on the afternoon draws has been terrific. And he never once yelled HURRY into Vic Rauter's ear.

Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: "Congrats to Dillard High for winning its fifth state championship in boys' basketball. Dillard is back in action Monday, favoured by four points over the Heat." . . . One more from Cote: "Team USA softball was in town as part of its preparation for Beijing in what will be the last Olympics for the sport. The elimination of Olympics softball has proved wildly unpopular, but only among women softball players." . . . Ostler chimed in with: "Will somebody please explain to the U.S. Olympic softball team that this is exactly why the sport will be banned from the Olympics after this year: The U.S. team, on its current barnstorming tour, won its first nine games by a combined score of 87-0." . . . If you haven't heard, John Daly won't be part of the Skins Game when it comes back to Predator Ridge near Vernon this summer.

Romeo Miller is said to be a basketball player of some skill. He also is the rapper known as Lil' Romeo, whose father is Master P. Lil' Romeo will be going to USC on a basketball scholarship next season after averaging 8.6 points a game for a poor Beverly Hills High team. The Wall Street Journal spoke with some basketball types, none of whom thought Lil' Romeo really was
worth a scholly valued at $44,400 a year. But that doesn't bother USC head coach Tim Floyd, who noted: "We may have more 11- to 17-year-old girls in the stands than we've had in the past." . . . With the NHL likely to schedule an outdoors game between the Detroit Red Wings and New York Rangers, Jerry Crowe of the Los Angeles Times notes: "It doesn't seem right that the final event in 85-year-old Yankee Stadium might be an NHL game featuring the New York Rangers. . . . Outdoor hockey, at least, is better than indoor baseball."

Mike Bianchi, in the Orlando Sentinel: "Professional golfer Tripp Isenhour of Orlando issued an apology for intentionally hitting golf balls into a tree and killing a red-shouldered hawk that was reportedly making a constant and distracting 'kee-aah' sound during the taping of a golf instructional video. What exactly was the name of the video? To Kill a Mocking Bird? It's no wonder Isenhour lost his PGA Tour card and is now playing on the Nationwide Tour. Maybe he should concentrate more on making birdies instead of killing them." . . . Migraines knocked pitcher Scott Linebrink of the Chicago White Sox to the sidelines last week. "I believe him because he's a real religious guy," White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen said. "Someone else tells me they have a migraine, I know they are hung over." . . . The PGA's Boo Weekley qualified for the Masters last spring but that doesn't mean he'll be in Augusta early to prepare. No, he's going turkey hunting. "I didn't even know when it was," he told Golf Magazine. He also told the Palm
Beach Post that the Masters is no big deal. "I don't know much about the history," he said. "It's just another golf tournament." . . . I want to hear the conversation when Boo tries to explain that to Tiger.

Dan Russell's open mouth show from Vancouver included a segment on former NHL centre Larry Popein on Thursday night. Popein, 5-foot-9 and 170 pounds, enjoyed a 449-game NHL career and also shone in the old Western league. He later was involved as a scout with the Calgary Flames and he worked with centres like Joel Otto and Joe Nieuwendyk on their faceoff techniques. Popein lives in Kamloops. Gotta think he could help the Blazers be better on draws. . . . A word of warning from The Sports Curmudgeon to his Canadian friends, especially those schools who have NCAA aspirations: "You do not have NCAA nonsense in Canada at the moment. You are better off for that. Think long and hard before you allow these goofs to have any dominion over your lives and your activities. . . . There will be monetary and social costs associated with allowing the NCAA, a group of nit-picking nitwits, to become part of the fabric of collegiate athletics in Canada. Be afraid; be very afraid."

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.