Keeping Score

From The Daily News of Saturday, March 29, 2008 . . .

Art (Golden Boy) Aragon, a boxer of note in the 1950s, died earlier this
week, which prompted Los Angeles Times reader Nick Beck to e-mail the
newspaper: “After listening to Lyndon Johnson’s State of the Union speech —
in which the president declared the famous ‘War on Poverty’ — Art fired off
a telegram to the White House: ‘I surrender.’ ” . . . From Ian Hamilton of
the Regina Leader-Post: “A jogger in South Shields, England, suffered an
injured ankle recently when he was hit with a frozen Mars bar that had been
thrown at him from a passing vehicle. News of the attack drew Snickers from
those in the non-jogging community. . . . Police have suspects in the
incident — a gang called the Three Musketeers that’s led by a shady
character named Mr. Big and his moll, Sweet Marie.” . . . What’s home-ice
advantage in the WHL playoffs? On Tuesday night, six of the seven games were
won by the visiting team.
ESPN.com’s NCAA men’s basketball bracket contest drew 3.65 million entries.
Not one entry picked the outcomes of the first round’s 32 games correctly.
The best was 30-for-32, which still is pretty good. “On the obverse,” notes
The Sports Curmudgeon, “there was an entry that picked every one of the
first 32 games incorrectly. And if you think about it, that is as difficult
a feat as picking all of the games correctly.” . . . Chris Harry, in the
Orlando Sentinel: “(The Dallas Cowboys are) interested in Pacman (Jones);
they traded for Tank Johnson last year. Is a front-office post for O.J.
next?” . . . Jean-Jacques Taylor of the Dallas Morning News has warned the
Cowboys against signing Jones. “You can’t trust him. How could you?”
reasoned Taylor. “We have 44 strip clubs in Dallas. Another 14 in Fort
Worth. And eight more in Arlington. You don’t have enough security to
prevent him from ‘making it rain’ in Dallas-Fort Worth. Even if you did, he
could fly down to Houston on his off day and find 45 more strip clubs. Or
head to Austin, which has 14 strip clubs. Or San Antonio, which has 20
topless joints.”
New York Islanders defenceman Rob Davison beat Toronto Maple Leafs
goaltender Vesa Toskala with a 180-footer the other night. The two used to
play together in San Jose, which is why Davison said: “I always used to
practise shooting long on him.” . . . Pitcher Clay Buchholz of the Boston
Red Sox and Erica Ellyson, a pitcher for Penthouse, are an item. “It doesn’t
surprise me any,” his father, Skip, told a Boston radio show. “Last year up
in Boston, he was dating a Victoria’s Secret model, so he’s moving up the
ladder. . . . I mean, he’s got pretty good taste.” To which Elliott Harris
of the Chicago Sun-Times added: “Not to mention a heckuva ladder.” . . . Is
it just me or are there more and more people out there with an urge to take
a photo during Tiger Woods’ backswing?
If you are into wagering, you may want to place a bob or two of your own
money, as opposed to your mother-in-law’s, on who will be the next general
manager of the Kamloops Blazers. Your choices are: 1. Santa Claus; 2. Easter
Bunny; 3. Craig Bonner; 4. Ogopogo; 5. Scooby-Doo. . . . Dwight Perry, in
the Seattle Times: “Q: If a baseball player’s brief stint in the major
leagues is known as ‘a cup of coffee,’ what do you call 21-loss Coppin
State’s two-hour stay in the NCAA tournament? A: Coppin a feel.’’ . . .
Someone asked Stanford men’s basketball player Taj Finger what the best
taunt is that he has heard. His response: “My favourite was at Cal. A guy
yelled, ‘Finger, you’re more like a thumb.’ ” . . . Do you get the feeling
that Barry Bonds’ phone is going to go dead before it rings?
Scott Ostler, in the San Francisco Chronicle: “German billiards champion
Axel Buescher has been suspended after testing positive for an agent that
masks a performance-enhancing drug. Officials became suspicious when
Buescher broke a rack and four of the balls went yard.” . . . Chris Foster,
in the Los Angeles Times: “China is considering banning live television
broadcasts from Tiananmen Square during the Beijing Olympics, apparently
concerned about possible protests during the Games. Memo to China: When was
the last time NBC showed an Olympic event live?” . . . I don’t know what it
means but since the end of the Blazers’ season, this newspaper has received
half-a-dozen notes and e-mails about Digger’s demise; we have received zero
notes and e-mails about the state of the hockey team.
The QMJHL is getting some great exposure from that brawl that involved the
Roy Gang and the Chicoutimi Sagueneens. The video was even available off the
home page of the Los Angeles Times sports section. You absolutely can’t buy
that kind of advertising. QMJHL commish Gilles Courteau must be awfully
proud but you can bet the NCAA hockey people are a whole lot happier than he
is. . . . Tony Kornheiser and the Miami Herald’s Dan Le Batard also had a
good time kicking around the Roy Gang and the QMJHL on PTI on Tuesday. . . .
It turns out that Atlanta Thrashers winger Mark Recchi was a double loser
Wednesday when the Kamloops Blazers were swept from a first-round playoff
series by the Tri-City Americans. Recchi, one of the Blazers’ owners, and
Washington Capitals goaltender Olie Kolzig, who owns a piece of the
Americans, had a small bet on the series. “The loser has to have an
interview done praising the other team as well as having to wear the other
team’s jersey during that interview and then sign a jersey and hand it to
the other team,” Kolzig told the Washington Times.
The Chicago Tribune reports that Tim Buss, the Cubs’ strength coach, found
his 1995 Nissan Sentra in tough shape the other day. Somebody had used bats
and balls to beat it to a pulp. “I figured (Jon) Lieber, (Kerry) Wood
immediately, (Ryan) Dempster . . .,” Buss told the Trib. “Then I realized it
was every pitcher we have.” Buss pointed out that it actually was his wife’s
vehicle. “It’s a shame,” Buss said. “What kind of person would do something
like that? It really just shocks me. I’m sure she’ll understand.” Shortly
thereafter, Dempster took Buss deep into the parking lot where he was given
the keys to a new Nissan Xterra SUV. . . . Mike Bianchi, in the Orlando
Sentinel: “Did you see where Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island was caught with
marijuana in her car a few days ago? Coming soon: The Professor is arrested
for making HGH out of coconut shells and bamboo husks.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at
gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.