Keeping Score

From The Daily News of Saturday, April 12, 2008 . . .

By now you may have heard that former Chicago Cubs outfielder Moises Alou
has tried to take Steve Bartman off the hook, at least a little bit.
However, Steve Rosenbloom of ChicagoSports.com isn’t buying it: “Moises Alou
said he wouldn’t have caught the Bartman ball. Liar, liar, pants on fire. I
mean, what are you doing, saying this now, five years later? And besides,
Alou’s reaction at the time gave every indication he believed he could’ve
caught the foul down the line in left. I don’t believe that Alou believes
it. I do believe that Alou is trying to get the kid paroled from infamy, but
sorry, that’s a life sentence.” . . . Three cheers to Steve Yzerman and Ken
Hitchcock for naming Pat Burns to the coaching staff of the team that will
represent Canada at the world hockey championship later this spring. A
battle with colon cancer has kept Burns away from the coaching game for a
bit but now that he is healthy he deserves to be there.
According to the New York Observer, Larry King, he of CNN open mouth show
fame, was coaching his nine-year-old son’s Little League team in Beverly
Hills when he got into it with the umps and got tossed. Dwight Perry of the
Seattle Times noted: “No truth to the rumor he’s been suspendered for two
weeks.” . . . After wide receiver Chris Henry was arrested for the fifth
time since 2005 and then cut by the Cincinnati Bengals, Pete McEntegart of
SI.com wrote: “Strange times for wideouts. First (injured Denver Broncos
receiver) Brandon Marshall slips on a McDonald’s bag. Next Henry will slip
on a McDonald’s hat.” . . . By now, you’ve seen video of tennis player
Mikhail Youzhny cutting his forehead by slamming it with his racket. “I saw
that,” said fellow player James Blake. “That was pretty funny — not for
Mikhail, I’m sure. . . . I did that as a kid and I kind of stopped doing
that. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.”
It took Geoff Calkins of the Memphis Commercial Appeal to sum up the feeling
after Memphis lost Monday’s NCAA championship men’s basketball game. “W.C.
Handy would know what to do with this moment,” Calkins wrote. “B.B. King
could play it on Lucille.” . . . Best wishes to Melanie Beaton, one of the
real sweethearts around here, and Mark Hunter, who scribbles for this daily
journal. Despite there being four Stanley Cup playoff games today, they are
to be married. Invitees are hoping there is at least one TV set in the
vicinity. . . . If you’re planning to attend a San Diego Padres’ home game
this season, be prepared to pay $9 for a premium beer. . . . By the way,
that same beer wholesales for 93 cents. . . . Cam Hutchinson, in the
Saskatoon StarPhoenix: “Bill Clinton picked North Carolina, Memphis, UCLA
and Georgetown to make the Final Four in the NCAA basketball championship.
I’m thinking Clinton’s dream final four would be Santa Monica, Oral Roberts,
Ball State and Mount Ida.” . . . One more from Hutchinson: “Former Sports
Illustrated swimsuit model Elle Macpherson told Shape magazine she can tell
a woman’s bra size by looking at her. I have news for you, Elle, so can most
men.”
Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “Which Hemingway novel do you think
Jose Canseco liked best?” . . . So who are the Vancouver Canucks playing in
the first round of NHL playoffs? . . . Hey, Bryan Murray, how did that
coaching change turn out? . . . After the Pittsburgh Pirates fell behind
7-0, tied it and then lost 10-8 in 12 innings to the Chicago Cubs — in a
game that took four hours 47 minutes to play — Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
columnist Gene Collier wrote: “The Cubs, who won it in 12 innings, made
three errors, issued eight walks and generally looked like something other
than the clear favorite to win the National League Central. The Pirates, who
did the 37,491 assembled the courtesy of rubbing out a 7-0 Cubs lead, made
two errors, issued 11 walks and skunked up a ninth inning that would have
beaten Chicago in regulation.” . . . To which Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis
Post-Dispatch added: “So the National League Central is still the National
League Central, despite all the good preseason publicity.” . . . And how
many of you were up today at 4 bells to watch Canada and the U.S. battle for
women’s world hockey supremacy? That’s what I thought.
From Dave Gross of Canwest News Service: “Heard the Capitals were looking at
bolstering their physical element by bringing in Turner Stevenson to play
with light-as-a-feather Nicklas Backstrom and Alex Ovechkin. The line will
be known as Backstrom-Turner-overdrive.” . . . Greg Cote, in the Miami
Herald: “Please, please don’t let me hear or read that the (Florida)
Panthers had a winning record. They were 37-34, but had nine overtime losses
entering the last two games. Modern math: 37 victories in 80 games equals
below .500.” . . . Hooters of America Inc. was to have had an ad in the
NCAA’s Final Four program. But it seems the ad, which included TV analyst
Dick Vitale, featured a Hooters Girl and the NCAA asked that she be removed
from the picture. “That would be like telling General Motors you can
advertise but don’t show a picture of a car,” offered Hooters spokesman Mike
McNeil.
The New York Jets are preparing to move to a new training facility that will
include three grass practice fields and an indoor field. All four fields are
being laid out north to south and will be three degrees off directly due
north. Why? Because the Jets want the fields to match the layout of the
field at their home park, Giants Stadium. . . .One more from Cote: “Miami is
the worst team in the NBA, yes. But at least the Heat Dancers won a
league-wide web vote for best dance troupe. Cannot confirm that a desperate
Pat Riley, with Shawn Marion now out and short on healthy players, will
start dancers Heather and Bambi in the backcourt against Detroit on Sunday.”
. . . If you’re wondering why the Calgary Flames and the Sharks played two
games in two nights in San Jose to open the playoffs, well, you can blame
the SaberCats. The Arena Football League team, which has the same owners as
the Sharks, had a game scheduled for today, so the NHL teams played
Wednesday and Thursday nights, rather than Wednesday or Thursday and
Saturday afternoon. . . . Pitcher Erik Bedard of the Seattle Mariners
obviously is the quiet Canadian. Asked to rate his opening-day start with
the Mariners, he replied: “OK.” . . . That came after a spring training
start following which he told reporters he would answer four questions. A
reporter asked: “Why four?” . . . Bedard replied: “That’s one.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Kamloops Daily News. He is at
gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.