Keeping Score

From The Daily News of June 14, 2008 . . .

This has not been the greatest of weeks for the NBA and its commissioner of smug, David Stern. . . . Ex-referee Tim Donaghy has used the ‘r’ word, as in rigged, and the NBA’s world has yet to quit shaking. . . . The Los Angeles Lakers are down 3-1 to the Boston Celtics in the NBA final. But this is the NBA, so you know it’s going seven, don’t you? . . . Here’s ABC-TV’s Jimmy Kimmel, on the final: “I can’t wait to find out who the NBA decided to win this thing. . . . I heard they shot multiple endings.” . . . Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle critiques the officiating: “One game, Kobe Bryant can’t get a call. The next game, he is awarded two free throws when the national-anthem singer hits a bad note.” . . . NBC-TV’s Jay Leno: “(Tuesday) night, the Lakers beat the Celtics. Now, most people think the series will go six games, although the refs are now pretty sure it will go seven.”
Geez, Louise, can you believe the noise hockey fans made because the people’s network decided to spend less of our money and dump a piece of music? Perhaps the network should have gonged Don Cherry and used his salary to pay for the tune. . . . We can’t house the homeless or feed the hungry and we don’t have anywhere to treat the mentally ill. But we’re apoplectic over a song? . . . Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon StarPhoenix: “One of the songs CBC is believed to be considering as a replacement is The Maple Leaf Forever, written in 1867 by Alexander Muir and Cliff Fletcher.” . . . Janice Hough, over at leftcoastsportsbabe.com, notes that ex-San Jose Sharks head coach Ron Wilson will be a good fit with the Maple Laffs: “At least he won’t have to worry about any embarrassing early-round playoff losses.’’
One more from Hutchinson: “There is a nude beach next to Torrey Pines, the site of the U.S. Open golf championship. If a shot is hit onto the beach while people are sunbathing, would this be considered: (a) ground under repair; (b) out of bounds; (c) the perfect lie?” . . . David Ortiz, the Dominican-born Boston Red Sox slugger, became an American citizen last week, after which Dwight Perry asked in the Seattle Times: “Not to rain on Ortiz’s parade, but doesn’t that make him a Yankee?’’
It was the night of Aug. 23 when Shane Doan stood before Kamloops Blazers Sports Society shareholders in the Sports Action Lounge at Interior Savings Centre and said: “We have no plans of raising ticket prices. No way. There’s no plans of that. It says that on our website. This is not so much about profit as it is about pride; this is about pride for us.” Shortly after, shareholders voted to sell their WHL franchise to Doan and his four partners. . . . Now here we are less than eight months since the franchise officially changed hands and . . . ahh, you already guessed, didn’t you? . . . At the same time, it’s terrific to see the Blazers get involved to the tune of $3,000 a year as sponsors of the school district’s reception at which the best students are honoured. Fans can hope that will be one step in the Blazers returning to hockey’s honours society.
Running back Cedric Benson, then of the Chicago Bears, was charged with drunken driving in Austin, Texas, a week ago. That came a month after he was charged with boating while intoxicated. If you’re like me, you’re wondering if he has a pilot’s licence. . . . In case you were wondering, Johnny Damon of the New York Yankees raised his average from .308 to .326 with that six-hit game a week ago. . . . Damon is only the second player in history to have six hits in a game at Yankee Stadium. The other? Cleveland shortstop Omar Vizquel went 6-for-7 as the Indians put up a 22-0 victory on Aug. 31, 2004. . . . Perhaps when Marc Crawford gets his next head-coaching post, he’ll join a team that has a high-calibre goaltender.
Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “I don’t wanna say the Marlins bullpen has struggled lately, but I heard general manager Larry Beinfest saw a ‘Jesus Saves’ bumper sticker and started making phone calls.” . . . One more from Cote: “Michael Beasley, likely upcoming No. 2 overall pick by the Heat, turns out to be only 6-7, not 6-10 as once claimed. Talk about shrinkage! Better draft him quick. Pretty soon he might be too short to touch the net.” . . . David Beckham, who has been to more than the odd Lakers game and whose family has been spotted hanging out with the Bryants, suffered a scratch to his nose while playing basketball at home the other day. “My oldest son threw the ball at the net and it bounced off the ring and smacked me in the face,” Beckham told Jimmy Kimmel. Wrote Gary Klein in the Los Angeles Times: “Note to Becks: In case Kobe hasn’t mentioned it, it’s OK to use your hands in basketball.”
New Jersey Nets star Vince Carter is opening a restaurant in Daytona Beach, Fla., and Tony Augusty of the Detroit News unveiled the strategy: “Carter is banking on his time-tested business plan: If the restaurant doesn’t do well, it will pout and serve half-cooked meals until it gets traded to New Jersey.” . . . Just when you think the KIJHL is on the right track, the junior B league adopts a playoff format that includes a double round-robin in the Okanagan Shuswap Conference. History has shown that round-robin playoffs don’t work — period! — because sooner or later someone is presented with an unsavoury opportunity. You can bet there will be bleating, not to mention bleeding, before that playoff round is over.
The abysmal Seattle Mariners canned hitting coach Jeff Pentland this week and replaced him with 70-year-old Lee Elia. And just how does Elia plan to work with the players? “There are two scenarios: If you love your children, there are going to be times to say things to them that might seem a little aggressive because you love them,” he explained. “And the other one: There is nobody in the world I love more than my wife, and four or five days out of every month I really can’t stand her. I think those are the kind of things they have to understand about me.” . . . Here’s a Thursday snippet from The Tailgate, a highly entertaining blog operated by Ryan White of the Portland Oregonian: “Pretty good day on tap way out here in the PDT. The U.S. Open’s just outside San Diego. Game 4 of The Much Hyped NBA Finals is in Los Angeles. . . . The rest of the country is running on our clock for once. How you like us now?”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca.
Keeping Score appears Saturdays.