Keeping Score

From The Daily News of June 21, 2008 . . .

Mike Bianchi, in the Orlando Sentinel: “Can you believe former White House press secretary Scott McClellan has written a tell-all book? One of the revelations: Bill Belichick secretly taped the Iraqi Republican Guard practising its surrender formation.” . . . Bill Simmons of espn.com, after the Boston Celtics came back from a 24-point deficit to win Game 4 of the NBA final: “The Kobe-MJ thing . . . done. Over. (Michael) Jordan never would have let that happen in the Finals. Ever. Under any circumstances. Nobody is ever allowed to bring this up again.” . . . Here’s NBC-TV’s Jay Leno on that same game: “Did you see that game? The Lakers choked so badly even the crooked refs couldn’t help them.”
The New York Mets are getting ripped from stem to stern for the slapstick manner in which they fired manager Willie Randolph. After reassurances from GM Omar Minaya, Randolph flew to the West Coast and managed the Mets to a Monday night victory. He was fired around midnight and the media was informed via e-mail. Here’s espn.com’s Buster Olney, who used to write for the New York Times: “Even the writers of The Sopranos could not have invented a more recklessly handled hit. The process really started after last season’s collapse, when Minaya — who came to the Mets having been promised full autonomy and, for more than a year, has had all the power of a marionette — first regressed into lawyer-speak. ‘Willie is the manager,’ Minaya said over and over, as if repeating the phrase would somehow give the crafted but flimsy words backbone and fool anyone into thinking that Randolph wasn’t one really bad day away from being fired.” . . . Minaya told media people: “I think he was resigned to it. When all is said and done, I think he was relieved.” . . . Uhh, not really. “I’m really stunned by it,” Randolph said. “I was surprised by it.” . . . Does all of this mean the Bronx Zoo has moved to Queens?
Will Leitch, who provides Deadspin.com with so much of its bite, is leaving but before exiting he ranked the “10 Worst Broadcasters In Sports” for Maxim.com. Here’s Leitch’s list: 1. Chris Berman; 2. Chip Caray; 3. Joe Morgan; 4. Dick Vitale; 5. Bryant Gumbel; 6. Bill Walton; 7. Billy Packer; 8. Mike Patrick; 9. Walt Frazier; 10. John Madden. . . . ESPN baseball analyst Morgan, according to Leitch, is “the most condescending broadcaster in sports.” Caray, who calls Atlanta Braves’ games, is “a fountain of inaccuracies.” As for Berman, another ESPNer, Leitch wrote that he is “the godfather of taking a spectacular athletic moment and butchering it.” . . . Obviously, Leitch is not a regular viewer of TSN, Sportsnet or Coach’s Corner. . . . Along those same lines, here’s David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram: “If so many people are memorializing Jim McKay as the type of sports broadcaster everyone should aspire to be, then why does it seem everyone is trying to become Chris Berman?”
According to the BBC, there now are more than 4,000 Chinese children named Aoyun, which means Olympic Games. As Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times noted: “Just be glad that China never landed the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl.” . . . After the Detroit Red Wings won the Stanley Cup for the fourth time in 11 years, the Miami Herald’s Greg Cote noted: “I love that Detroit calls itself Hockeytown. Mainly because it irritates every city in Canada.’’ . . . One more from Cote: “The Panthers hired Peter DeBoer as their coach and, on behalf of Your Friend the Media, I would like to personally applaud the choice. Myriad are the possible plays on his surname. If DeBoer’s style of play is dull, the Cats will be DeBoring. If they aren’t winning, fans will be DeBooing.” . . . Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun, on Senator Larry Campbell’s Save The CFL bill: “That great Canadian institution Campbell wants to preserve is run mostly by Americans, coached by Americans and played by Americans. But he forgets to mention that part.” . . . Any reason why U.S. senators weren’t writing bills to keep the CFL out of the United States a few years ago? Or was that simply a case of a mosquito on an elephant’s backside?
“Gorgeous day here in New York City,” CBS-TV’s David Letterman said the other day. “It’s so beautiful, the NBA was rigging beach volleyball.” . . . Mike Lupica, writing in the New York Daily News on Sunday, the day of the U.S. Open’s final round: “You know how the day after a major golf championship people always run out and buy, say, the putter the champion used to win the tournament? Or the new driver the guy was showing off? If Tiger wins at Torrey Pines, I see a stampede of hackers going to have their left knees operated on.”
The Detroit Pistons dumped head coach Flip Saunders after they were beaten by the Celtics in the Eastern Conference final. That resulted in Tom Powers of the St. Paul Pioneer Press recommending that Saunders, who also has coached the Minnesota Timberwolves, take some time away from the game: “A guy can deal with only so many nut jobs before needing a break. Few coaches have had to deal with the likes of Latrell Sprewell and Rasheed Wallace almost back to back. It’s time to go to the cabin. And to lock the door behind him.” . . . Bob Molinaro, of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot: “NBA players who pound their chests after making a shot should be required to put their hands around their throats when they miss a wide-open shot. Fair is fair.” . . . There are reports that Hillary Clinton spent $212 million on her unsuccessful presidential campaign. “Think about that,” says Leno. “The last time anybody spent that kind of money to come in second was the New York Yankees.” . . . In his Sunday column, Richard Oliver of the San Antonio Express-News noted that it was only “19 days until the start of the Tour de France. You know what that means. Gentlemen, start your urine.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor
of The Daily News. He is at
gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca.
Keeping Score appears Saturdays.