Keeping Score

“If BCS computers ran beauty contests, Rosie O‚Donnell would be Miss California,” writes Chris Erskine of the Los Angeles Times. . . . Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “Who do you suppose needed a party planner more, Plaxico Burress or Pacman Jones?” . . . Lupica might have added Charles Barkley, who has always wanted to be the governor of Alabama but may have to settle for being the premier of British Columbia. . . . One more from Lupica: “I still feel like I needed to know when the Jets were 8-3 just how much they were overcoming with the head coach.” . . . There were a lot of New York folks who expected an NFL team that wears green to reach the final four by winning at the Meadowlands. They just thought it would be the Jets and not the Philadelphia Eagles.

Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “The Florida Panthers reportedly will open the 2009-10 NHL regular season in Prague, Czech Republic. Tell you what, Cats: If y’all miss the playoffs yet again this season, you might want to just stay.” . . . One more from Cote: “The Detroit Lions finished 0-16, but disgraced and fired president/general manager Matt Millen, the architect of the mess, has turned up as an NFL analyst for NBC. Isn’t that like asking a surgeon guilty of malpractice for medical advice?” . . . A note in the St. Petersburg, Fla., Times this week indicates that former Kamloops Blazers sniper Len Barrie, who owns a chunk of the Tampa Bay Lightning, “is close to selling his Bear Mountain Resort in British Columbia, for about $500-million.” . . . Which should be enough to cover Vinnie LeCavalier’s contract that kicks in next season.

Comedy writer Jerry Perisho notes: “Dallas Cowboys linebacker Anthony
Spencer was arrested at 3 a.m. in Indianapolis on Sunday for causing a
disturbance after being thrown out of a place called the Have A Nice Day
Café. . . . Apparently, he’d had a little too much to drink in the You’re
About To Get Arrested Lounge.” . . . One more from Perisho: “A non-profit group has convinced hundreds of college basketball coaches to walk the sidelines barefoot during one game to highlight the effort to collect shoes for the needy. Let’s all pray there are no organizations with the mission of gathering pants for the needy.” . . . Mark Recchi, the pride of Kamloops who is having a pretty good season with the Tampa Bay Lightning, drew two assists Thursday and is tied with Dale Hawerchuk for 17th on the NHL’s career scoring list. Recchi says he had no idea he had reached a milestone until a friend sent him a text.

Aside to Pierre McGuire: Please look up the definition of “howitzer” before using it again. . . . And then there’s this from Kimbo Slice, while doing some English-language TV work for some K-1 fights in Japan: “First of all, I love the city of Japan.” . . . Too many shots to the head? Gee, you think? . . . The Cleveland Cavaliers won their first 19 home games. As the Toronto Sun’s Gary Loewen scribbled: “There hasn't been anybody this tough at home since Macaulay Culkin.” . . . Quick now, what was Culkin’s name in Home Alone? . . . The Vancouver Canucks have lost six straight home games for the first time since their first season in the NHL. Which must mean the parade has at least been postponed. . . . Sheesh, some Canucks fans are even thinking maybe they were further ahead with Markus Naslund than with Mats Sundin. . . . Yes, desperate times result in desperate thoughts. . . . The Canucks are 1-4 with Sundin in the lineup and he has been in the penalty box while opposing teams three times have scored the winning goal.

Quarterback Eli Manning wins a Super Bowl with the New York Giants a year ago and he is the toast of the town, the next big thing on Broadway. The Giants lose a playoff game last weekend and he is chopped liver. . . . Not only that, but the Giants already are talking about bringing back gunslinger Plaxico Burress. . . . When the Giants lost 23-11 to the Eagles last weekend, it was the first time in NFL history that a game had ended by that score. . . . It seems some of the folks in this province are starting to get a little concerned about the escalating costs and everything else involved with the 2010 Olympic Winter Games. Gee, isn’t that a surprise? . . . Hello, Jean Drapeau. . . . One thing is for certain: It all has made for some enthralling reading in the dailies from the Big Smoke, and it isn’t going to stop anytime soon. . . . Dan Daly, in the Washington Times: “The (Cleveland) Browns have fired one former Bill Belichick assistant, Romeo Crennel, and replaced him with another, Eric Mangini. And if Mangini doesn‚t work out, well, maybe Charlie Weis will be available by then.” . . .

Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.com, after the Arizona Cardinals reached the NFC championship game: “Anything is possible. You’ve got your Miracle On Ice, your Lyle Lovett marrying Julia Roberts, and your Three 6 Mafia winning an Oscar. But the Arizona Cardinals over the Philadelphia Eagles in Sunday’s NFC Championship Game? Put it this way: Tim Tebow and the Philippians have a better chance of strip clubbing with Pacman Jones.” . . . Dwight Perry, in the Seattle Times: “Lumberjack edged out dairy farmer as the distinction of worst job among 200 professions surveyed by
CareerCast.com, a new job site. Somehow missing the cut: Pacman Jones‚ bodyguard and John Daly’s spin doctor.” . . . The Arizona Republic asked Cardinals defensive end Antonio Smith if the team was trying to earn respect. His response: “No. Don’t nobody believe in the Arizona Cardinals but the Cardinals fans. We love being the underdogs. Best place to be.” . . . To which Chris Foster of the L.A. Times wrote: “Mongo from Blazing Saddles couldn't have said it better.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at
gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.