Keeping Score

Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “I hope those female fertility drugs aren't going to cause any hair loss with Manny.” . . . A tip of the cap to the gang over at KYSA. It is amazing how they are able to put together the annual KYSA Slurpee Cup and operate it with such efficiency. This year’s tournament, the 31st annual, that took over our city last weekend featured more than 2,500 players, 400 coaches and managers, and 50 referees and assistant referees. All told, more than 300 games were played over the three days. . . . How much for a litre of regular gas? Sheesh, it isn’t even the so-called summer driving season and the gas gouging has started.

If you’re looking for omens, Ryan Huska, the head coach of the Kelowna Rockets, will be appearing in his fifth Memorial Cup final Sunday in Rimouski, Que. To date, Huska is 4-0 in finals, including 3-0 as a player with the Kamloops Blazers. . . . Bob Molinaro, in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot: “If you're turned off by the sight of copious body art, don't watch the multi-tattooed Denver Nuggets. The typical Nuggets player is more inked up than the Sunday edition of The New York Times.” . . . B.C. Hockey has revealed the names of 69 players it has invited to its under-16 development camp in Penticton this summer. Of those players, only forward Morgan Zulinick is from Kamloops and he plays for Pursuit of Excellence in Kelowna. Meanwhile, only two Kamloops players, Zulinick and Wade Moyls, were selected in the WHL’s 2009 bantam draft, meaning our fair city trailed the great hockey-playing state of Texas by one. Shouldn’t a minor hockey association in a city this size be embarrassed by such numbers? . . . Hey, just asking.

Well, hockey fans, that’s it for TSN. For the rest of these Stanley Cup playoffs, we’re stuck with Hockey Night in Canada, which means we get the funny-jacketed ventriloquist and his dummy, along with the stale panel. You’re right. No one does hockey better than TSN. . . . Gary Loewen, in the Toronto Sun: “Inconsistent golfer Mike Weir is abandoning the ‘stack and tilt’ method. He also promises to quit playing Lego.” . . . And here I thought “stack and tilt” was a term used during afternoons on Sportsnet. You know, when about all it shows is poker. . . . Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “Rachel Alexandra . . . became the first filly to win the Preakness since 1924. Twelve desperate males chasing one favored female? Sounds about like any Saturday in any bar in America.”

Would someone remind me again just how many people were killed by Michael Vick? Or was he dealing drugs? . . . By now you’re aware that Vick got out of jail Wednesday, which was the same day that Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Raheem Morris described his team’s quarterback competition this way: “One bone. Five dogs. Best man wins.” . . . Or might that have been a subliminal message directed at Vick? . . . From an excellent piece by Josh Peter at yahoo.com: “At least 73 players on NFL rosters during the 2008 season have been arrested on charges of driving under the influence, according to a search of published reports by Yahoo! Sports.” . . . The B.C. Lions, who last trained in Kamloops in 2004, open camp in Abbotsford on June 7. It’s the fourth straight year the Lions will have trained in Abbotsford. No, they aren’t likely to return to Kamloops. According to one source, “The turf . . . here doesn’t have enough spring to it.”

John Calipari, the new men’s basketball coach at Kentucky, has paid US$2.3 million for a home with seven bedrooms and eight bathrooms. I don’t know about you but it has always been my dream to own a home with more bathrooms than bedrooms. . . . In case it’s been keeping you awake at night, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal now have met in 16 finals. Federer beat Nadal in the final of the Madrid Open on Sunday, leaving him with a 5-11 record against his chief rival. . . . Only John McEnroe and Ivan Lendl met in more finals than those two. McEnroe went 11-8 in finals with Lendl. . . . Remember when big oil would up the price of gas by a penny or two at a time? Now, with the economy in the tank, they just hit us over the head with a hammer and put it up eight cents at a time.

You know you’re having a bad season when the foil-wrapped hot dogs explode as your mascot is shooting them into the stands. You’re right. It was the Washington Nationals. . . . The unhappiest man in sports these days? That’s easy. It’s Oklahoma forward Blake Griffin. He’ll be the first pick in the NBA’s June 25 draft and that selection belongs to the Los Angeles Clippers, perhaps the worst franchise in all of sports. . . . Mike Bianchi, in the Orlando Sentinel: “Brett Favre in line in front of you at the grocery store: ‘I’ll take plastic. I mean paper. I mean plastic. I mean paper. I mean plastic.’ ” . . . It was in 2007 when Jon Gruden, then the head coach of the NFL’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers, came up with this: “I don't watch ESPN. I don't believe half the (expletive) people on the channel.” . . . ESPN announced this week that Gruden, now unemployed, has been added to the Monday Night Football crew.

Jerry Crowe, in the Los Angeles Times: “The late Wayman Tisdale won a gold medal playing alongside Michael Jordan at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics. In an interview last year, the former NBA player and chart-topping jazz bassist said of the experience, ‘Bobby Knight was a raging maniac. He put us through pure hell. For most of that summer, I thought my name was (----)head."

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca and gdrinnan.blogspot.com. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.