Canadian Sunset

As a treat for hockey fans everywhere, as we prepare for Game 7 of the Stanley Cup final, here is a column written by the late, great Jim Murray that appeared in the Los Angeles Times of July 22, 1975 . . . The column was headlined: Canadian Sunset . . . Enjoy!

Perhaps you noticed in the papers the other day where the U.S. Department of Labor is on the scent of a major investigation to combat unemployment. They are seeking to find out why there are so many Canadians in professional hockey.
   When they finish that one, I have a few other similar inquiries they might make. They might spend the taxpayers’ money to find out why:
   1 – There are so many Catholics in the Vatican.
   2 – There are so many fish in the ocean.
   3 – The Indianapolis 500 has so many cars in it.
   4 – There are so many cows in Texas.
   5 – The Antarctic is full of penguins.
   6 – Zebras have stripes.
   7 – There is so much music in opera.
   8 – There are so many blondes in Sweden.
   9 – There aren’t more blue eyes in Japan.
   10 – There’s so much sand in the Sahara.
   11 – Trout are fish.
   12 – There are bears in the woods.
   13 - There are so many chickens in Rhode Island.
   14 – There’s so much salt in the Pacific.
   15 – Parisians speak French.
   16 – Sharks bite.
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    Canadians are good at hockey for the same reason Italians are good at singing, Germans at shooting and the English at acting. They skate before they walk. They can skate backwards faster than Americans can forward. They grow up on ice.
   The Labor Department won’t cure unemployment by banning Canadians, they’ll increase it. Because, without Canada as a supplier, the National Hockey League will become a series of roller-skating rinks.
   Unless the glaciers come back, you aren’t gonna get any Bobby Hulls out of Alabama or Gordy Howes out of San Diego.
   Still, the Immigration and Naturalization Service officials are going to try. They gave the Philadelphia Flyers’ Stanley Cup winners four days to get out of the country after their recent NHL championship. They have withdrawn the blanket visa which used to cover hockey players. In a country in which a million or more illegal aliens cross the border every year, they’re gonna plug this leak which lets several dozen enter to create jobs for program sellers, ticket takers, ice scrapers, hotdog vendors, taxi drivers, net makers and parking-lot attendants.
****
   Of course, they can pass a ruling that every hockey team has to hire at least one player born and raised on or near the equator, and make it mandatory that at least one wingman be hired who can’t skate on anything but double-runners, and, under no circumstances, can anyone who says “oot” for “out” or “aboot” for “about” be employed.
   Of course, with unemployment running at 9%, it’s good to see vigorous, aggressive action like this taken – like sending a pail to fight a flood.

Copyright 1975/THE TIMES MIRROR COMPANY

Reprinted with permission by the Los Angeles Times.

Courtesy of:

Jim Murray Memorial Foundation
P.O. Box 995
La Quinta, CA  92247-0995
Ph/Fx: 760-771-8972
www.jimmurrayfoundation.org