Keeping Score

Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on NBC-TV’s top-notch golf analyst: “Someone needs to tell Johnny Miller to not be afraid to speak his mind. Wow, that guy would tell a dying grandmother she looked like hell.” . . . Meghan Huggins, a keeper for Har-Ber High School in Springdale, Ark., is heading for Lamar University and you’re free to wonder what she plans on doing there. “I wish I could major in soccer in college,” she told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, “but they make you get an actual degree in some kind of something.” . . . Local product Devin Gannon, 18, who played the last two seasons with the junior B Storm, plans on playing for the BCHL’s Salmon Arm SilverBacks in the fall.
Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon StarPhoenix: “Three places I would like to see Dany Heatley suit up next season — 3. Hamilton Coyotes; 2. German national team; 1. 7-Eleven.” . . . One more from Hutchinson: “Mats Sundin says he won’t play at the 2010 Winter Olympics. I’m thinking he will change his mind and join the Swedish team halfway through the Games.” . . . After the Edmonton Oilers thought they had landed Heatley on Tuesday night, Bruce Dowbiggin of The Globe and Mail wrote: “Reporters scrambled to answer the question, would Heatley waive his no-trade clause to join the Oilers? How does someone who asks to be traded then refuse to waive a no-trade clause? Is this not like subscribing to eHarmony then refusing to date?” . . . Sean Wandler, who manages the midget AAA RiverDogs and is the man behind the Daley & Company Canada Day Classic that is on this weekend, doesn’t get nearly enough credit for what he has done with that program. Of course, he isn’t in it for the credit, but here’s a big pat on the back.
Damien Cox of the Toronto Star, after a trade between the Toronto Maple Leafs (Tomas Kaberle) and Boston Bruins (Phil Kessel) fell apart at the NHL draft: “It’s hard to believe two Harvard-educated hockey executives like Brian Burke and Peter Chiarelli would have, in the famous words of Strother Martin, such a failure to communicate.” . . . Kevin Gleason, in the Middletown, N.Y., Times Herald-Record: “If going from Madonna to (Kate) Hudson is any indication, A-Rod’s making steady improvement playing the field. Heck, at this rate he’ll win a Gold Glove.” . . . The Texas Rangers signed Orlando Hernandez, the 43-year-old who left Cuba on a raft, and assigned him to Oklahoma City in the Pacific Coast League. He made his PCL debut on June 24 and, according to The Daily Oklahoman, left tickets for an old friend at the will-call window. The ducats were left for Fidel Castro. . . . It’s believed he was a no-show.
Larry Brooks, in the New York Post: “NBC continues to wield a curious amount of influence over (Gary) Bettman and the NHL. For it was the network that doesn’t pay so much as a nickel in rights fees to the league that pressured the commissioner to withdraw the plan to play a second outdoor game in Calgary next season.” . . . The Left Coast Sports Babe, a frequent contributor to this column, is coming to town. Her son, Carey Schwartz, is a right-handed sidearmer with the Midnight Sun Goldpanners, who will be playing in KIBT. They open Thursday, 8 p.m., against the Seattle Studs. . . . This team of Goldpanners is an offshoot of the renowned Alaska Goldpanners. . . . Earlier this week, The Babe posted this on her website: “OK, for anyone who thinks only men are tough enough to play pro sports, I give you Candace Parker, who returned to practice for the Los Angeles Sparks six weeks after having a baby. Of course, let’s be fair . . . if a man was required to take six weeks off from sports after the birth of a baby, it would shut down the NBA.”
Bob Costas, on ESPN radio, talking about drug cheat Manny Ramirez and his first appearance with the Albuquerque Isotopes: “I think it’s about the culture’s obsession with celebrity. What I do have a problem with is the idea that when he shows up in Albuquerque he’s treated like a returning hero. It was tasteless to have Manny Ramirez promotions around it. (New Mexico governor) Bill Richardson shows up and the mayor of Albuquerque shows up as if they’re greeting Lindberg after he’s coming back after his trans-Atlantic flight. What the heck is that?” . . . Somehow it was only fitting that Ramirez should be playing minor league baseball for a team that got its name from an episode of The Simpsons.
Ron Borges, in the Boston Herald, after Ramirez finished his rehab stint with the Pacific Coast League’s Isotopes: “As for Ramirez, it was all a joke, which is the way he looks at life. He played in only two of the four games he was scheduled to appear in, leaving before one game even began because the grass was wet. Does mixing water with the female fertility drug HCG, for which Ramirez was found to have an illegal prescription, make your dreadlocks expand or something?” . . . Jeff Blair, in The Globe and Mail: “What’s the mystery about Jacques Lemaire being named to Canada’s Olympic staff? Seems like a pretty good guy to coach penalty-killing, no? Frankly, I’ll give Hockey Canada credit on this one. Smacks of original thinking. My only question is: Couldn’t they find a spare Sutter kicking around?”
Kyle Dhanani, the TRU WolfPack shortstop who was drafted last month by the Milwaukee Brewers, is with their Rookie League affiliate, the Helena, Mont., Brewers. They have moved him to second base where he is splitting time with Cutter Dykstra, the son of former big leaguer Lenny Dykstra. . . . Through Thursday, Cutter was hitting .182 and Dhanani .158, so there is work to be done. . . . On the other side of the coin, Seattle Mariners outfield prospect Tyson Gillies of Kamloops was 4-for-6 in one game this week and has his average up to .324. His on-base percentage is a terrific .437.
One more season and you can look for Mark Recchi to leave the NHL. “This will probably be it,” he told a conference call Friday. “I want to go out and finish it off right by winning another championship and help this team be successful. I’d say this will probably be it. I’ve got my family situation I’ve got to consider and kids I’ve got to consider. It’s been a great run. I think I want to give it one more chance. I want to give everything I have to Boston and sail off into the sunset.” . . . He signed a one-year contract worth US$1 million, plus incentives, with the Bruins on Thursday. . . . Scott Ostler, in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Evander Holyfield is facing foreclosure on his mansion in suburban Atlanta. The house has 109 rooms, including 17 bathrooms, three kitchens and two Starbucks. It’s sad. That place cost Holyfield an arm and a leg and two ears. Holyfield is so desperate, he might have to fight Jose Canseco.” . . . And one more from Ostler: “About that annoying gallery guy who follows Tiger Woods. When that guy dies and they’re about to lower the coffin, will someone shout, ‘Get in the hole!’?”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca and gdrinnan.blogspot.com. Keeping Score returns Aug. 8.