Keeping Score

Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News, after Serena Williams’ meltdown in a U.S. Open semifinal: “There have been a lot of exits by Open champions. Never one as bad as this.” . . . Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon StarPhoenix: “If Williams wants to jam a tennis ball down somebody’s throat, how about Kanye West’s?” . . . One more from Lupica: “There was no other way for Shawne Merriman to get the car keys away from Tila Tequila besides getting a sack on her from the weak side?” . . . Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman was accused of choking his girlfriend, reality-TV star Tila Tequila, before the San Diego district attorney dropped the case. My question: Can we take seriously anything said by someone who has chosen the name ‘Tila Tequila?’ It’s like calling 911 to report a fire, and they ask your name and you say, ‘Harvey Wallbanger.’ ”
One more from Cote: “NASCAR’s 12-car Chase for the Cup field became final Saturday, and includes several cars that are eligible for the season championship despite not winning a race all year. A sport where you can succeed without winning? Yeah, Danica should fit right in all right!” . . . Notre Dame at Michigan. USC at Ohio State. Oregon State at UNLV. Minnesota at Cleveland. Chicago at Green Bay. Buffalo at New England. . . . Will there be another weekend to match that? . . . After Hockey Night in Canada announced its lineup, Jeff Blair of The Globe and Mail wrote: “Adding Kevin Weekes and Guy Carbonneau will make the thing a little less WASPy, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, though, there’s still a chance that you’ll see Don Cherry if you tune in HNIC — so people of intelligence and decent upbringing are still advised to view with caution. I presume we’ll also be required to keep our P.J. Stock decoder rings handy again, too?”
There was Tiger Woods the other day, saying: “We’re long overdue to have (golf) in the Olympics.” To which Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle opined: “Amen. I don’t know how many times I’ve been at the Olympics and said, ‘It’s fun watching Usain Bolt in the 100, but oh, how I long for the thrill of watching ‘Pacedrag’ Harrington take six minutes to read a four-foot putt.’ ” . . . This is 2009 so why are CFL players running around out there without name bars on the backs of their jerseys? . . . Dan Daly, in the Washington Times: “Congratulations to Bill Snyder, the soon-to-be-70 Kansas State football coach, on his five-year contract extension. By the time the deal is done, he’ll be old enough to be Joe Paterno’s son . . . Snyder’s contract reportedly has some lucrative performance incentives, including $250,000 for winning the BCS championship, $75,000 for a Big 12 title and $5,000 for remembering his login name.”
Yes, Rodney King got into the ring at the Philadelphia Airport Ramada last weekend. In fact, he won the bout, beating former Pennsylvania police officer Simon Aouad. For his efforts, King was paid $5,000. . . . If you missed it, the Calgary Vipers won their first Golden Baseball League playoff title this week, dumping the visiting Tucson Toros 18-10 before 2,212 fans to win the best-of-five final in four games. It was Calgary’s third straight appearance in the final but its first title. . . . The biggest smile in town these days may belong to Tom McInulty Sr. Why? Hey, he’s a fan of the St. Louis Cardinals. . . . Wes McLeod of Kamloops is back on the blue line with the BCHL’s Prince George Spruce Kings, having deferred his scholarship to the U of Alaska-Anchorage for a season. “I wanted to defer for a year to better myself,” he said. “You know . . . get bigger, stronger, faster and have that much more experience in all sorts of situations.”
Steve Rosenbloom, at chicagotribune.com, wonders what the Cubs will do with Carlos Zambrano: “When Zambrano is not Senor Loco, he’s a top-of-the-rotation arm, if not a top-of-the-rotation brain. But when you’re crazy and lazy, you have limited teams who’d want you and for whom you’d waive your no-trade clause. I mean, who’s going to let you write your own recess schedule?”
Believe it or not, there already are problems with Citi Field, the US$850-million home of the New York Mets. The New York Post reports that there has been flooding in some of the outfield seats, there is water damage in some luxury suites and there have been falling pieces of concrete. As one source told the Post: “Yankees fans must have built the place. Sh*tty Field — that’s what we call it.” . . . The Minnesota Vikings cut former USC quarterback John David Booty, resulting in the Left Coast Sports Babe noting: “Which means, of course, he’s waiting for another team to give him a Booty call.” . . . Jessica Watson, a 16-year-old Aussie, ran into a freighter the other day while practising for a solo voyage around the world. The Left Coast Sports Babe wrote: “Wonder if she was texting at the time?”
Ian Hamilton, in the Regina Leader-Post: “Just out of curiosity: If Lingerie Football League players are in skimpy outfits, what do the teams’ cheerleaders wear?” . . . In June, pro golfer Ken Green was driving his RV when a tire blew. The RV ended up in a ditch and Green’s girlfriend and his brother were killed. Green ended up losing his right leg below the knee. Green, a Champions Tour regular, has been fitted with a prosthetic and hopes to play in a charity event later this month. . . . No pro golfer has ever played with a prosthetic. . . . Rick Reilly of espn.com, after Michael Jordan’s Basketball Hall of Fame induction speech: “Here is a man who’s won just about everything there is to win — six NBA titles, five MVPs and two Olympics golds. And yet he sounded like a guy who’s been screwed out of every trophy ever minted. He’s the world’s first sore winner.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca and gdrinnan.blogspot.com. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.