Keeping Score

There is a hockey team in the Orchard Park Hockey League in Kelowna known as the Ogopogos. The team’s logo is a rocket. Why? Well, as someone said: “Why do the Rockets have Ogopogo as their logo?” . . . Doesn’t sound as though CBS-TV NFL analyst Boomer Esiason is a fan of Cleveland Browns head coach Eric Mangini, who isn’t exactly an open book. “Eric Mangini can take the fun out of a 10-year-old’s birthday party with Big Bird there,” Esiason said. “That’s how miserable this guy is becoming.” . . . Ian Hamilton, in the Regina Leader-Post: “Thanks to recently completed renovations, the exterior of Toronto’s Air Canada Centre features a new 30-foot-by-50-foot HD video screen. That’s good news for the Maple Leafs, who will have somewhere to watch the playoffs.”
Do you think the Calgary Flames would have invited Theo Fleury to training camp had they known the 41-year-old with so many demons in his past would capture a country’s imagination? Do you think the incorrigible and unsmiling Brent Sutter, the Flames’ new head coach, would have wanted anything to do with it had he known Fleury would be good for a point a game in the preseason? . . . Just asking. . . . English soccer coach Fabio Capello already is preparing his players for tough times at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. He has said his players and their wives and girlfriends will have only “limited contact” during the tournament. . . . As Brad Nickson of the Omaha World-Herald noted: “We have something similar in this country where husbands and wives have limited contact. It’s called football season.”
Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon StarPhoenix: “Heidi Fleiss, the infamous Hollywood Madam, is opening a dog-grooming salon in Las Vegas. In a related story, Michael Vick is opening a brothel.” . . . Prior to this week’s IOC meetings, Greg Cote of the Miami Herald wrote: “The International Olympic Committee meets in Copenhagen, Denmark, to name the site of the 2016 Summer Games. An appearance by the president or First Lady would boost Chicago’s chances. Otherwise, the city’s best hope is for Oprah to purchase the IOC.” . . . Steve Rosenbloom, at ChicagoTribune.com: “Here’s one of my problems with the Olympics: They aren’t about sports. The Olympics are activities. It’s like someone from Human Resources planned a company picnic. The Olympics are either hobbies or aerobics. If it’s judged, it’s a hobby. This goes for diving, boxing and, omigawd dumbest of all, synchronized swimming.”
It used to be that you weren’t an NHL coach until you had been fired at least once. Now it seems you aren’t an NHL coach until you’ve been fired and have worked for TSN. . . . Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun sums up the biggest problem in Gary Bettman’s NHL: “You could buy more than 30 lower bowl tickets in Phoenix for what it (would have) cost you to see the Leafs on opening night.” . . . Garth Woolsey, in the Toronto Star: “It is called giving the lowest common denominator what it wants — the Leafs are going to fight more.” . . . Brian Burke, the GM of the Maple Leafs, has been quoted ad nauseum about how his team will be belligerent, pugnacious and truculent. Which is fine. But how does Phil Kessel fit into that scheme? Kessel, who signed with the Leafs for US$27 million over five years, had six hits last season. That’s right. Six hits in an entire season. Your grandmother does better than that each time she goes for groceries.
Headline at fark.com: Suspect in football stabbing was wearing a B.C. Lions jersey, so that narrows it down to 12 suspects. . . . The San Diego Padres happened to visit Pittsburgh during last week’s G-20 economic summit. Padres second baseman David Eckstein told the San Diego Union-Tribune: “Some of the guys thought it was the new Gatorade.” . . . When the All Blacks rugby team played Australia in Wellington, New Zealand, the other day, someone was waving this banner in the stands: “Steve, sorry we missed the wedding. We’ll make it to the next one!” . . . The Chicago Cubs are completing their 101st straight season without a World Series title, which resulted in this headline in the Chicago Tribune: 101 Damnations.
Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News, prior to last Sunday’s conclusion to the PGA Tour season: “The payout to the winner at the end of these FedEx playoffs is the biggest individual payout in the history of sports, and all of that would be fine and good if anybody had any idea how the system works. You have a better chance of understanding cricket.” . . . One more from Lupica: “What’s the deal with Jerry Jones’ dancers — the ones dancing in the cages are like the old taxi squad for the cheerleaders down on the field?” . . . Peter King, Sports Illustrated’s astute NFL writer, has a new book coming out — Monday Morning Quarterback: A fully caffeinated guide to everything you need to know about the NFL. Here is one of the nuggets: “At one point, the same lawyer represented Barry Switzer, Jerry Jones and Larry Lacewell of the Cowboys. The lawyer’s name was Larry Derryberry. They once dined together — Barry, Jerry, Larry and Larry Derryberry.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca and gdrinnan.blogspot.com. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.