Keeping Score

Defenceman Josh Gorges, a product of the Kelowna Rockets, scrapped with
forward Mike Cammalleri during a recent Montreal Canadiens practice. So
what started it? “I don’t know who started it," Gorges told canadiens.com,
"but I remember I called him ugly and he got pretty upset, so he called me
fat.” . . . Dan Hawkins, the head coach of the Colorado Buffaloes, has said
his football team, which went 3-9, was just 10 plays from being a bowl team.
To which Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post noted: "In a related story, the
Titanic was 10 ice cubes away from the East Coast." . . . You may have
noticed that Blazers goaltender Kurtis Mucha is wearing the gear he brought
with him from the Portland Winterhawks. New pads and gloves are on order,
but he isn't likely to get a new paint job for his mask until after the Jan.
10 trade deadline. . . .

It was Dan Jenkins, only the best golf writer ever, who in 2001 wrote: "Only two things can stop Tiger. Injury or a bad marriage." . . . The PGA Tour without Tiger? Would it be the Nationwide Tour 2? . . . Dwight Perry, in the Seattle Times: "This year's winner of the 'Mulligan, Please?' Award: the January issue of Golf Digest -- the one that touts '10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger' on the cover." . . . One more from Perry: "The tabloids' Tiger Woods mistress count, in barely two weeks of trying, has reached double figures. Who would've guessed they'd already be into the back nine?" . . . Had you taken everything that has happened with and around Tiger Woods in the last two weeks and put it into a movie script they would have laughed you out of Hollywood. . . . But it would have made a terrific reality TV show. . . .

So I'm thinking that defenceman Keith Ballard definitely should be on the U.S. Olympic hockey team just in case, you know, the goaltenders need a little bit of added motivation. . . . Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon StarPhoenix: "Is it just me, or has the Montreal Canadiens' celebration of their 100th anniversary lasted for about 100 years?" . . . One more from Hutchinson: "So, NBA star Ron Artest used to drink during games. What's the big deal? I'm thinking somewhere in his past he must have been a curler." . . .

Former Kamloops Blazers pest Tyson Nash now is on the Phoenix Coyotes' radio
crew. And when the Coyotes were in Calgary last week, Nash couldn't resist
wearing a Blazers jacket to the game-day skate. After all, Phoenix centre
Shane Doan and Flames winger Jarome Iginla are among the Blazers' owners
and, as a chuckling Nash pointed out: "You never know when you might need a
job." . . . In case you missed it, Ken Hitchcock, now the head coach of the
Columbus Blue Jackets, got a vote of confidence the other day. "Hitch is
safe," GM Scott Howson told the Columbus Dispatch. "To suggest otherwise is
just ludicrous. It has not even entered anybody's mind. It's not something
we'd even consider." . . . Of course, if Columbus continues to stumble
along, someone just may consider it. . . .

A tip of the cap to the senior hockey players who stopped by the Royal
Inland Hospital Foundation office the other day and dropped off a cheque for
$1,000. Bruce White, Norio Sakaki and Tom Blair handed the cheque to Pat
Esdale, and it was all in memory of Wally Deneault, a former teammate who
left us far too soon a year ago. . . . Hey, whatever happened to Joey
Kenward? . . . Scott Ostler, in the San Francisco Chronicle: "Ron Artest
says the reason he talked about gulping booze at his locker was that he
wanted to help kids who have similar problems. Beware, kids! If you drink
cognac at halftime, you might wind up as a zillionaire All-Star." . . . One
more from Ostler: "Good to see Al Davis responding to that billboard on 880,
paid for by fans begging him to 'hire a GM.' Davis, already concerned about
the haphazard way his limos are parked, hired a Garage Manager." . . .

The New York Post reports that the home Derek Jeter is having built in Tampa
is known by the locals as St. Jetersburg. How big is it? Try 30,875 square
feet, with seven bedrooms and nine bathrooms. . . . Dan Daly, in the
Washington Times: "(Tiger) Woods has reportedly redone the prenuptial
agreement with wife Elin Nordegren to encourage her to stay in the marriage.
He must have really sweetened the deal. Elin is now third on the career
money list." . . . Could it be that John Daly and Tiger have swapped roles?
The Associated Press reports that Daly has dropped 100 pounds, taking him
down to 185. Perhaps he now will limit his swinging to the golf course. . .
. So are you on the Toronto Maple Leafs' Stanley Cup bandwagon yet? . . .
Hey, just asking. . . .

There could be an interesting matchup in the NFL on Sunday with the Cincinnati Bengals meeting the host Minnesota Vikings. That’s because Chad Ochocinco has promosed to relieve the Vikings’ mascot of his horn and use it. “I’m going to steal it from what’s his name? Ragnar?” warned the Bengals receiver. “If he doesn‘t give it to me I‘m going to MMA him.” . . . The Left Coast Sports Babe points out that “CBS is cancelling As the World Turns after 54 years. I guess they figured, who needs to produce a soap opera when we have options like The Tiger Woods Show?” . . . We close with this from the afore-mentioned Dwight Perry: "Thieves in Sao Paolo, Brazil, picked the perfect diversionary opportunity ‹ during the soccer-crazed country's national-championship game on Sunday -- to tunnel into a cash-delivery firm and make off with $6 million. . . . G-O-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-D!"

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at
gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca and gdrinnan.blogspot.com. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.