Dan Patrick of Sports Illustrated asked skateboarding legend Tony Hawk how he will know when his time is up. The response: “When you suck at it. People would be happy to tell you about that. There’s plenty of people out there on the Internet especially.” . . . If the folks in Saskatchewan really want a domed football stadium, all they have to do is wait until after the 2022 World Cup, then buy one from Qatar and have it shipped to Regina. . . . A tweet from funnyman Conan O’Brien: “I am almost at 2 million Twitter followers! I am going to tell my grandkids about this — right after I explain to them what Twitter was.” . . .
After Jim Furyk was voted PGA Player of the Year, comedy writer Jerry Perisho noted: “Out of habit, Elin Nordegren began beating his car with a 3-wood.” . . . Brad Dickson, in the Omaha World-Herald: “The TV show Law & Order will air an episode about a philandering golf star who gets hit by his club-wielding wife. Just when I think Hollywood is out of fresh ideas, they go and prove me wrong.” . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Denzel Washington, Jamie Foxx team up to play Manute Bol in new film. . . . The more you watch left-winger Brendan Ranford of the Kamloops Blazers, the more you realize the kid got stiffed by Hockey Canada. . . . Yes, he should be in Toronto today, preparing to challenge for a spot on Canada’s national junior team. . . . “Evander Holyfield, 48, has signed to fight Brian Neilsen, 45, in March,” writes Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. “But if we don’t remind them, maybe they’ll forget.” . . .
If a professional athlete’s dream is to win a championship, why would outfielder Jayson Werth leave the Philadelphia Phillies for the Washington Nationals? Other than those 126 million reasons, that is? . . . Nationals owner Ted Lerner has what Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch calls “stupid money” and he wants a winner and he wants one now. “He doesn’t have to shop carefully,” Gordon writes. “This makes you wonder: After giving outfielder Jayson Werth $126 million over seven years, what would he pay Albert Pujols? . . . Albert is the best hitter of his generation. One shudders at what Lerner would pay him. How about $450 million over 15 years? That would make more sense than the Werth deal.” . . . And isn’t it nice that fiscal sanity has returned to Major League Baseball? . . . How much for Derek Jeter? . . .
During Thursday night’s NHL game between the visiting Calgary Flames and the Los Angeles Kings, writer Helene Elliott of the L.A. Times tweeted: “Apocalypse is upon us: two kids in mites game between periods got into a scrap. hate to see that.” . . . It turns out that the scrap was staged, but, sheesh, is that what this game has come to? . . . If Don Cherry’s performance on Tuesday isn’t enough for CBC-TV to ban him from its airwaves, the Mother Corp. may as well give him all the keys to the spaceship. . . . Officially, thanks to Tuesday’s performance at Toronto’s city council chambers, Cherry has become a national embarrassment. If there was any doubt, that is. . . .
Who is your NFL MVP, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady or Philly Eagles starter Michael Vick? Here’s Dan Wetzel, at Yahoo! Sports: “There are still four games to play, but at this point, Vick is the story of the year in the NFL. As someone who watched him chew gum in the face of a federal sentencing judge, that’s an impressive, and unexpected, accomplishment. It’s just Tom Brady is the league’s Most Valuable Player. And it isn’t even close.” . . . The Patriots were 3-1 when they dumped wide receiver Randy Moss. Now they are 10-2. He went to the Minnesota Vikings, who went 1-3 with him and quickly cast him aside. He joined the Tennessee Titans and they are 0-6 since picking him up. . . . The moral of the story? A rolling Moss gathers no victories. . . . According to TMZ.com, Brady and Gisele Bundchen will have two 12-foot Christmas trees and a whole bunch of lights up around their L.A. digs. It seems they paid an L.A. outfit about US$7,500 for the package . . . installed. As comedy writer Bill Littlejohn put it: “Clark Griswold should have them up by the weekend.” . . .
The NHL’s Columbus Blue Jackets are paying Ken Hitchcock US$1.3 million a season not to coach this season and next after they fired him a year ago. These days, he’s on a tour that is sponsored by Hyundai and hooked in with Hockey Night in Canada, doing coaching symposiums and minor hockey clinics. Does that make him the highest-paid minor hockey coach in history, or what? . . . Len Berman, of ThatsSports.com: “Kansas City quarterback Matt Cassel underwent an appendectomy (Wednesday). He’s listed as questionable for Sunday. Questionable? Who do they think he is, a hockey player?” . . . Phil Mushnick, in the New York Post: “The International Boxing Hall of Fame has selected Sylvester Stallone for induction. Seriously. Those were movies, fellas, movies!” . . . Along that same vein, I would like to nominate Dickie Dunn for induction into the Hockey Hall of Fame. . . .
The morning after the night before, which included a scrap with the Anaheim Ducks enforcer, Paul Bissonnette of the Phoenix Coyotes tweeted: “If u wanna know what a george parros punch feels like in the morning, not good. Lost some brain cells.” . . . The Santa Claus Parade in Vancouver drew 300,000 people to downtown streets on Sunday. Surely it was just a warmup for the Stanley Cup parade in June. Right? . . . Defensive tackle Danny Shelton of Auburn, Wash., High had a recent recruiting visit to Oregon. Here’s what he told Rivals.com: “At the stadium, we went up to Phil Knight’s booth. That was crazy. Went to the bathroom, and there was ‘Just Do It’ on the toilet.”
Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. Email him at
gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca, follow him at twitter.com/gdrinnan, or visit his
blog at gdrinnan.blogspot.com. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.
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