Saturday, December 17, 2011
The year was 2009. There were rumblings that Alex Rodriguez had tested positive for a PED. As A-Rod debated whether to confirm or deny, Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers offered up some free advice: “The best thing he can do is come out, admit to everything and be completely honest. The situation will die a lot faster if he tells the whole truth.” . . . Last week word got out that Braun, the National League MVP, has tested positive for excessive testerone. . . . We await his coming out and telling the truth. . . . What is it they say about what comes around? . . . “Braun said he’ll comment soon,” writes Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald, “but right now he’s too busy shaving 19 times a day.” . . .
If you missed it, Major League Baseball decided last week to implement a dress code for media at all games. . . . That means no muscle shirts, flip-flops or visible underwear. “But as veteran scribes gleefully point out,” noted Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times, “no restrictions on wrinkles or gravy stains.” . . . You would think that a sport in which one of its MVPs has tested positive for funny business might have more important things on its plate than how the media dresses. . . . After Golden State Warriors guard Charlie Bell showed up drunk for a DUI hearing, Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle pointed out: “Memo to NBAers: ‘Order in the court’ does not mean ‘What’ll you have?’ ” . . .
Ahh, you knew it wasn’t about the money — US$254 million — when Albert Pujols left St. Louis for Anaheim. As Pujols said: “I know people in the city of St. Louis think it’s all about money. . . . It was tough, and I know what they’re going through. They’re losing somebody that’s been a part of the community, and I feel for that. Me and my wife, we felt that pain, too. But at the same time, when that decision came, I was being obedient. I didn’t want to go to a place that God wasn’t calling me to go.” . . . Shame on you if you thought Albert ditched St. Loo for the cash. . . . Headline at Fark.com: Pujols to become Angel in L.A., Devil in St. Louis. . . . And I wonder how business is at his restaurant in St. Louis? . . .
A Wednesday night tweet from Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post: “Done deal: Chris Paul to the Clippers for Eric Gordon, Chris Kaman, Al-Faruoq Aminu, three draft picks and a Kardashian to be named later.” . . . NBA commissioner David Stern is getting heat after putting the kibosh on a deal that would have had Paul end up with the L.A. Lakers. “Prompting Kris Humphries to ask, ‘Where were you when I proposed to Kim Kardashian?’ ” writes Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press . . . If you were wondering, Davis Payne, who is from Kamloops and was fired earlier this season as head coach of the St. Louis Blues, now is doing some pro scouting for the Blues. . . .
“Gotta love those arch turkeys Jeffrey Loria and David Samson,” writes Jack Todd in the Montreal Gazette. “Demolishing the Montreal Expos for their own personal profit? Nothing wrong with that. Fleecing the taxpayers of South Florida out of $500 million by crying poor when they were wallowing in profits? Hey, that’s business the way Loria and Samson do it. But allow $100-million shortstop Jose Reyes to wear dreadlocks? No, no, no. These Miami Marlins have rules, you know.” . . . One more from Todd: “When will guys like Albert Pujols ever learn? Once you move into $200-million contract territory, loyalty is a whole lot more important than money. Pujols could have been idolized like Stan Musial and Bob Gibson all rolled into one, in a real baseball town. Now, he’s just one more fathead and the most hated man in St. Louis.” . . .
When the Florida Panthers were in Boston late last week, general manager Dale Tallon ended up in hospital with a kidney stone. So, how does the pain from a kidney stone stack up with an assortment of hockey-related injuries? “Usually I can pass the stones, but I’ve had three surgeries before this,” he said. “What’s the kidney stone pain like? Worse than a hip dislocation or a broken leg.” . . . If you don’t think there are too many college bowl games, consider that Illinois (6-6) and UCLA (6-7) will meet in the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl. Both teams already have fired their head coaches. Illinois has lost six straight games. The game is Dec. 31 in San Francisco. Surely, you’ll be watching. . . .
I will be making one New Year’s resolution and that will be to get over to the TCC to watch Justin King of the TRU WolfPack men’s basketball team. A native of Las Vegas who transferred here from Skagit Community College, King is one of the top players in Canadian university basketball. . . . Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon Express: “Larry King wants to be frozen cryogenically when he dies. King says he wants to give wives Nos. 3, 4 and 7 a cold shoulder.” . . . One more from Hutchinson: “Have I mentioned how much I hate having Winnipeg Jets games forced on me every Saturday night? Watching the Maple Leafs lose on Hockey Night in Canada has become a family tradition.” . . .
Some photos from Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy shoot were leaked, so the issue with her on the cover is coming out early. “Just like Lindsay with her jail sentences,” notes the Left Coast Sports Babe. . . . “So,” wonders the Babe, “will they start swearing in governors in Illinois by saying ‘Will the defendant please rise?’ ” . . . Would you really like to tour Wrigley Field in Chicago? “The rats are bigger than pigs out there,” former Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen told Comcast Sports. “You want to take a look? I think the rats are lifting weights.”
(Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. Email him at email@example.com, follow him at twitter.com/gdrinnan, or visit his blog at gdrinnan.blogspot.com. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.)