The new year actually begins on Monday. Well, Sunday night here. That’s when the Australian Open swings into action. . . . “I have never liked sports,” says Serena Williams. To which Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle notes: “With her game and personality, Williams should be the shining light of American tennis, but she keeps Plaxico-ing herself.” . . . Dan Daly, in the Washington Times: “Fenway opened the same week the Titanic sank. For the 100th anniversary, the Red Sox should get Celine Dion to sing the national anthem.” . . .
Florida State footballer Arrington Jenkins was arrested for stealing a motorcycle last month and apparently told police: “Anybody who leaves a motorcycle out in the open deserves to have it stolen.” . . . To which Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel responded: “When this guy grows up, he’ll be the one who takes your sandwich out of the office refrigerator.” . . . Following the death of bowling legend Don Carter, Bianchi brought out one of his favourite bowling-related quotes, attributed to Anonymous: “One advantage of bowling over golf is that you never lose a bowling ball.” . . . If you missed it, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish showed up for the Champs Sports Bowl with neon gold helmets. “I’m not saying they were ugly,” writes Bianchi, “but if the Irish had worn them back in the day, the Four Horsemen would have looked more like the Four Village People.” . . .
Best wishes to Cam Thompson, who has left Radio NL for a job with CBS Radio in Washington, D.C. Does this mean we now call him Morley or Dan? . . . Someone from the Los Angeles Times asked the PGA’s Bubba Watson about his relationship with Phil Mickelson. His response: “You learn a lot from guys like Phil. I really like him now. I wouldn’t take a bullet for him, you know, but I’d help him out.” . . .
More than 16 years ago a woman in Sweden lost her wedding ring. She recently found it in her garden, wrapped around a carrot. RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com wonders: “Would that make it a one-carrot diamond?” . . . And here’s Currie after Canadian golfer Andrew Parr finished two strokes away from a European Tour card: “I can’t help thinking Parr will never be more than a scratch golfer.” . . . David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram has retired after writing 928 Fan Insider columns. He says he wants to spent more time with his family. “You know what that means — next year, I’ll be coaching football at Ohio State,” he wrote. . . .
There has never been a more painful football viewing experience than the BCS Championship game on Monday night. The two head coaches, Alabama’s Nick Saban and LSU’s Les Miles, should be dismissed for the abysmal performance of their offences. . . . Talk about no imagination. . . . This may have been the best thing ever to happen to college football because, in time, we may look back at this game as the final straw that produced a playoff system. . . . Happy 37th anniversary to Freda and Howard Brown, two of our city’s really good people. . . . Ron Judd, in the Seattle Times: “The Smithsonian Channel has proudly announced that its documentary ‘Air Disasters, Season 1’ now is available on iTunes. Excellent entertainment fare for your next long flight.” . . .
After Detroit lost to the New Orleans in an NFL playoff game last weekend, the Lions heard the usual stuff from the nattering nabobs of negativity. Cornerback Aaron Berry answered the negative tweets with this: “Y’all can go back to being Broke & Miserable . . . now back to regular scheduled programming.” . . . If you are in a fantasy league, you may be painfully aware that in the 2011 calendar year, centre Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins played in 10 NHL games. . . . He totalled 13 points, including two goals. . . . And who knows when — or even if — he will play again? . . .
I now am a fan of the San Francisco 49ers. Why? Here’s safety Donte Whitner on head coach Jim Harbaugh: “He said that we can do anything in the world and we can come and talk to him and he’ll forgive us, except put our hands on women. If you put your hand on a woman, then you’re done in his book.” . . . Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post, after the Montreal Canadiens dealt Mike Cammalleri to the Calgary Flames for Rene Bourque: “Folks in both cities could be upset: Bourque doesn’t speak French and Cammalleri doesn’t speak redneck.” . . .
Former Cincinnati Reds shortstop Barry Larkin was the only player to get enough votes for election to the Baseball Hall of Fame this time around. We can only imagine the circus a year from now when Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens and Sammy Sosa get to appear on the ballot for the first time. . . . Sorry, but I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to anyone’s rankings of NHL draft-eligible junior hockey players. Why? Because far too often something silly happens. Like this week when NHL Central Scouting released its mid-season rankings and Cole Cheveldave of the Kamloops Blazers wasn’t among the top 36 North American goaltenders. . . . Why wasn’t he on the list? Likely because he is 5-foot-10. Only four of the chosen 36 are shorter than 6-foot-0. Thirty-five are taller than 5-foot-10. . . . Hey, all Cheveldave does is work hard and stop pucks. Isn’t that what it’s all about? . . .
Next month at Dolphins Stadium in Miami, two teams, one from Colombia and the other from Mexico, are going to play a game of something. “Not sure,” scribbled the Miami Herald’s Greg Cote. “It’s either a soccer match, or the finals of the International Drug-Cartels Championship.” . . . Here’s one from Janice Hough, the Left Coast Sports Babe, from early in January: “We’re coming to the end of Capital One Bowl Week, which started about Dec. 17. And they wonder why football players are bad at math.” . . . Last weekend’s victory by Denver allowed Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow to claim a US$250,000 contract bonus. “Another reason many men don’t like the guy. He probably won’t spend any of that money on beer and women,” writes Hough.
(Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. Email him at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca, follow him at twitter.com/gdrinnan, or visit his blog at gdrinnan.blogspot.com. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.)
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