Sunday, February 5, 2012
Scott Ostler, in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Tim Tebow won’t play (in the) Pebble Beach AT&T, and that’s too bad. Now there’s nothing to hold back the storms. Here’s how Tebow’s first round would have gone: five holes-in-one, five sextuple-bogeys, followed by heated national debate over whether Tebow is a fantastic golfer or a hack.” . . . After Blake Griffin dunked over Kendrick Perkins the other night, Ostler wrote: “Was that the greatest dunk ever? Well, it was the most polarizing. Some say it wasn’t even a dunk. They scoff that Griffin barely made contact with the rim as he threw down from on high. He didn’t even hang on the rim! That’s like saying Van Gogh was a fraud because he didn’t paint any poker-playing dogs into Starry Night.” . . .
Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express on a recent winter’s evening: “It’s Saturday night and the Toronto Maple Leafs are hosting the Montreal Canadiens. In Saskatchewan, we are watching Winnipeg and Florida. We aren’t happy.” . . . “OK, I give up,” writes Len Berman over at ThatsSports.com. “The Pro Bowl peaked at 8.9 in its overnight TV rating, which is comparable or better than four of last year’s seven World Series games. I’m thinking if there’s still an ongoing argument about which sport is America’s pastime, case closed.” . . . I had really hoped more Kamloops drivers would get turn-signals for Christmas. . . .
Last year, Phil Kessel of the Toronto Maple Leafs was the last player chosen in that NHL made-for-TV all-star draft and Brian Burke turned it into an international incident. . . . This year no one remembers who went last. . . . While Sam Gagner was picking up eight points on Thursday night, Edmonton Oilers goaltender Devan Dubnyk was stopping 43 shots and continuing his pitch to be the starter. . . . For the first time in his NHL career, Dubnyk, a product of the Kamloops Blazers, started four straight games. The Oilers picked up seven points in those four games. . . .
Headline from SportsPickle.com: Tim Thomas asks Bruins to be paid in gold. . . . Team Orr and Team Cherry played in the Top Prospects Game in Kelowna on Wednesday night. But neither Bobby Orr nor Don Cherry was in the building. Maybe it’s time to change the team names. . . . Brandon Rose sang both anthems at the Blazers game on Wednesday night. Gotta wonder if the Blazers couldn’t turn her into their own Karen Newman. . . . Karen Newman? She is the Detroit Red Wings’ anthem singer. . . .
Another foot has washed up on a shoreline in Vancouver. Blogger T.C. Chong noted: “The Baltimore Ravens immediately invited it for a tryout.” . . . Of course, the NHL will have record attendance this season. It has Winnipeg and doesn’t have Atlanta. . . . The WHL, with Victoria having replaced Chilliwack and the Edmonton Oil Kings making some noise in the Alberta capital, likely will set a record, too. . . . Rapper 50 Cent claims to have won US$500,000 by betting on the New York Giants to beat the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC final two weeks ago. To which Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald wrote: “I’d be tempted to say 50 Cent has terrific luck, except for the fact he’s been shot something like 37 times.” . . .
With the news that some New Zealanders are pushing for sheep-shearing to be named an Olympic sport, Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post notes: “Actually, sheep-shearing seems a natural for the Olympics. Crooked members of the IOC have been pulling the wool over people’s eyes for years.” . . . Organizers of this summer’s London Olympics are concerned about traffic congestion, so are suggesting that folks may want to stop for some suds on the way home, just to spread out the rush-hour traffic. To which Hamilton responded: “So instead of being bored to death in a traffic jam, you can be killed by a drunk driver.” . . . Here’s comedy writer Jim Barach: “Tiger Woods says he is disappointed that Hank Haney has written a book about their time together, calling it a ‘violation of trust.’ To which Elin Nordegren says, ‘Tell me about it.’ ” . . .
Kobe Bryant will play his ex-wife Vanessa US$75 million in their divorce settlement. “That’s right, she got 75 million NBA dollars and she didn’t do anything on the court to earn them,” writes Mike Bianchi in the Orlando Sentinel. “Who does she think she is — Gilbert Arenas?” . . . Ivan McClelland, who played goal for the Penticton Vees when they won the 1955 World championship, is busy writing his memoirs. The book is to be titled Gold Mine to Gold Medal, and I can’t wait to read it. . . . Think about this for a minute — in 1953-54, the Vees played 102 games and McClelland played every minute of every game. . . .
R.J. Currie, over at SportsDeke.com: “Three things astronaut John Grunsfeld says you can see from space: 3. International borders; 2. Drought-stricken countries; 1. Patriots tackle Vince Wilfork.” . . . We are into the season of mock NFL drafts. They are everywhere on the Internet. As the Sports Curmudgeon puts it: “Most of them are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.” . . . Most of them? . . .
Look, the men’s final at the Australian Open really was something special. But, sheesh, it featured two of the biggest divas in sports and do we really need to wait 33 seconds between serves? . . . Ron Judd, in the Seattle Times: “TV game-show host Pat Sajak admitted he has hosted Wheel of Fortune drunk. We’d be more impressed if he’d actually done it sober.” . . . One more from Judd: “We’ve just put in an official request to the Pentagon to borrow Seal Team 6 for a few weeks to clean up left-lane campers on Interstate 5.”
(Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at firstname.lastname@example.org, gdrinnan.blogspot.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.)
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