Tiger Woods has become golf’s version of a NASCAR Sprint Cup race. Everyone watches in anticipation of the wreck. And that was a big one in Augusta last weekend. . . . To those of us who don’t golf, Woods is showing that we made the correct decision because there obviously is no fun in playing that game. . . . Here’s Michael Wilbon, on PTI: “Tiger has no composure. He has no poise. These used to be great assets in the person and the player that Tiger Woods became. . . . His personality is now a liability as much as his swing.” Wilbon referred to Woods’ performance as “atrocious.” . . .Three of Woods’ ex-female friends are said to have made an adult video. Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel has suggested it be titled “Sin Cup.” . . .
R.J. Currie, who maintains the blog SportsDeke.com: “Scientists say the colour green stimulates creative thinking. So how do you explain the 2011 Saskatchewan Roughriders?” . . . One more from Currie: “I.K. Kim blew her first major victory by missing a one-foot putt on 18 and then losing the playoff. Will a missed gimme now be known as a Kimme?” . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Bankrupt Warren Sapp Asks Buccaneers If He Can Live In Pirate Ship. . . . According to the Sunday Times, London Olympics organizers have approached management from the Who to see if drummer Keith Moon could play at the closing ceremony. Uhh, Moon died in 1978. “I emailed back saying Keith now resides in Golders Green crematorium, having lived up to the Who’s anthemic line ‘I hope I die before I get old’,” Bill Curbishley, the band’s manager, told the Times. “If they have a round table, some glasses and candles, we might contact him.” . . .
Here’s the biggest problem in hockey today. The pooh-bahs say all the right things about wanting headshots out of the game. And then along comes Nashville Predators defenceman Shea Weber, who slams the head of Detroit Red Wings forward Henrik Zetterberg off the turnbuckle, er, off the glass as though it were a WWE show. . . . The NHL fines Weber $2,500, which was less than laughable. . . . Weber, by the way, makes $40,541 per day. But under the terms of the CBA with the NHLPA, the maximum fine is $2,500. . . . If you earn $50,000, Weber’s fine is the equivalent of $16. . . . Hey, Fran Tarkenton, what if there had been bounties on players back in the day? “We didn’t play with bounties,” Tarkenton told ESPN Radio in Chicago. “Dick Butkus didn’t have bounties on anybody, or there wouldn’t have been anybody to play because he would’ve killed them all.” . . .
In case you missed it, this week featured Apology Tuesday. First, it was Brian Burke apologizing for the performance turned in by his Toronto Maple Leafs. Second, it was Jay Feaster doing the same on behalf of his Calgary Flames. . . . We await appearances at the dais by Steve Tambellini and Pierre Gauthier. Whoops! Too late for Gauthier. . . . Here’s hockey fan Paul Madsen on Twitter: “Maple Leafs apologize to fans for paper cuts received to neck from poor quality bags. Vow to supply better next year.” . . .
Sheesh, even Rex Murphy was sniping at the Maple Leafs. “Forty-five years out of the finals — longer than it took the trees to grow that supplied them the wood to make the hockey sticks they don’t score with,” the CBC wordsmith said. “Whole forests have been felled for no real reason.” . . . Joffrey Lupul of the Maple Leafs went to a Blue Jays game the other night. Later, he tweeted: “Just gonna watch The Jay’s games on TV from here on in. Tough crowd! Felt like I was back in Ottawa.” . . .
Former Kamloops Blazers defenceman Brandon Underwood, who was dealt to the Regina Pats last summer, has been in our city for the last few days. But he leaves today for Wichita, Kan., where he will join the Central league’s Texas Brahmas. He will be in their lineup against the Thunder for Game 2 of a second-round series on Sunday. Underwood is eligible to return to Regina as a 20-year-old. . . . After U of Florida basketballer Erving Walker was arrested and charged with stealing a $3 taco, Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post wondered: “If Walker is convicted and given a jail sentence, does that constitute taco time?” . . . One more from Hamilton, who, in looking at the Stanley Cup playoffs, claims that “L.A. against Vancouver is a great matchup: It’s smog versus smug.” . . .
Former Blazers goaltender Devan Dubnyk has shown that he deserves to go into the Edmonton Oilers’ training camp in September as the NHL team’s No. 1 goaltender. . . . After originally turning down a request to play for Team Canada at the world championship, he changed his mind and will back up Cam Ward. Dubnyk has big plans for this summer — he’s getting married. He’s also in need of a new contract and you can watch from him to get a raise from US$800,000 to somewhere around $3 million a season. . . . At least one Pittsburgh Steelers fan confused his Mike Wallaces following the death last weekend of the star interviewer of the CBS newsmagazine 60 Minutes. “RIP Mike Wallace. Maybe the Steelers shouldn’t have cut Hines Ward?” tweeted one Steelers fan. . . . Yes the Steelers have a wide receiver by the same name. . . .
Randy Carlyle didn’t have much of a hockey season, did he? Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun points out that Carlyle was behind a bench for 42 NHL games this season and won just 13 of them — seven as head coach of the Anaheim Ducks and six with the Maple Leafs. . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Robert Griffin III trying to enjoy his final weeks of happiness before becoming a Redskin. . . . Folks in major league cities are thrilled that the baseball season has started. As Jimmy Kimmel of ABC-TV put it: “I was getting sick of paying only $2 for a beer.”
(Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca, gdrinnan.blogspot.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.)
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