Sunday, April 21, 2013
Well, wasn’t that just a weekend to remember at the Masters? . . . Target a 14-year-old and let Tiger walk. . . . “Too bad Tiger didn’t use the Roger Clemens defence,” scribbled Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun. “He could have said about misremembering the rule that he broke.” . . . Here’s Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “What we know for sure now is that suddenly if you didn’t mean to break a rule in golf, a sport where the rules have always been religion, then you can get off the hook with a two-stroke penalty when once you would have punched a ticket home.” . . .
So, who was it who was on the couch and called Augusta to squeal on Tiger and his improper drop? Maybe it was Lindsey Vonn’s ex-husband, Thomas, who tweeted: “No problem Masters tournament happy to call in and help. You always have to keep an eye on those cheaters ;)” . . . The Palm Springs, Calif., Desert Sun headlined that story: Ex narcs the spot. . . . Here’s Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel: “Many fans thought he should have received the standard penalty for cheating — having the rear window of his car smashed in by one of his own golf clubs.” . . .
Here’s Lupica, again: “Seriously, has there ever been a greater athlete who made dumber decisions in his life than Alex Rodriguez? And the very best part of it? Everything that has ever happened to this guy is somebody else’s fault. The dog keeps eating this poor slob’s homework.” . . . What’s wrong with this picture: The Toronto Blue Jays are stumbling and bumbling; the Toronto Maple Leafs appear bound for the playoffs. And Blue Jays fans are sounding a lot like Leafs fans did not that long ago. . . . “Media speculation has Kate Upton, who recently split with Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander, romantically linked to rapper P Diddy,” claims RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “That’s what I call a change-up.” . . .
A Tuesday tweet from Earl Seitz of CFJC-TV, as the sports guy wades into the political arena: “If cell phones cause distracted driving, what do political wannabe’s standing on bridges and streets waving signs do? Just asking.” . . . Obviously, Dennis Rodman didn’t have much impact on the head guy in North Korea. “May I suggest,” offers comedy writer Tim Hunter, “we send the fired Rutgers basketball coach to deal with North Korea? Just sayin’.” . . . The NHL is in the process of scheduling five outdoor games and one kind of outdoor (hello, Vancouver) game for next season. Why? Because each one will bring in about US$30 million in revenue; in other words, it’s for you, dear fans. So bring money. . . .
After seeing Tiger’s latest Nike ad, ‘Winning Takes Care of Everything,’ Richmond blogger TC Chong noted: “Elin is releasing her own version: ‘A 9-iron takes care of everything.’ ” . . . The Boston Red Sox’ streak of consecutive sellouts ended at 820 earlier this season. “Many Sox fans feel that the most significant sellout during the streak,” notes Seattle Times reader Bill Littlejohn, “was when Johnny Damon signed with the Yankees.” . . .
With the Detroit Tigers and host Seattle Mariners headed for extra innings the other night, Larry Stone of the Seattle Times tweeted: “Brayan Villarreal coming in to pitch. Tigers have two players named Brayan, believed to be MLB record.” . . . It is because of such information that baseball is so much fun to follow. . . . There are rumblings in NHL circles that Brian Burke will be running the Dallas Stars’ hockey operations before another season gets here. Burke, of course, was in Kamloops for the Scott Niedermayer number retirement; the Stars are owned by Tom Gaglardi, who is majority owner of the Blazers. You get the picture. . . .
The good folks of Chicago are soon to cough up $500 million to renovate Wrigley Field. As comedy writer Jim Barach put it: “It will be the third-most expensive facelift in history, following all the work already done on Cher and Joan Rivers.” . . . In Augusta, Ga., home of the Masters, a restaurant sells a drink known as an Arnold Palmer. And how does Arnie order one of those. Kelsey, a waitress there, told the Newark Star-Ledger: “He leaned over and said, ‘I’ll have a Mr. Palmer.’ Then he winked.” . . .
Here’s to a long and happy retirement, and a spot in the Kamloops Sports Hall of Fame, for K-J Klontz, who worked her last day on Friday. . . . A circus elephant escaped serious injury the other day when it was the victim of a drive-by shooting in Tupelo, Miss. As Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, wrote: “Waiting for the NRA to issue a statement saying we need to arm elephants.” . . . Here’s Hough again, this time after the NBA’s Golden State Warriors clinched a playoff spot for the second time in 19 seasons: “Or as Chicago Cubs fans call that — practically a dynasty.”
(Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at firstname.lastname@example.org, gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears Saturdays, except when it doesn’t.)
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