Saturday, February 1, 2014
Here’s Ian Hamilton, in the Regina Leader-Post: “After New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez was suspended for the 2014 baseball season, team president Randy Levine said the club would take the $25 million it doesn’t have to pay A-Rod and use it to cut prices on tickets, parking and concessions. Who knew that ‘Masahiro Tanaka’ was Japanese for ‘Cut Prices on Tickets, Parking and Concessions’?” . . . Kenny Shiels, the manager of English soccer side Morton, has told BBC Radio Scotland that, under doctors’ orders, he no longer will be doing post-game media interviews. Why? “If someone asks you a question,” he explained, “you’re emotionally imbalanced at that time and you feel an urge to tell the truth.” . . . Kind of explains Richard Sherman, doesn’t it? . . .
The highlight of Sunday’s Super Bowl may happen before the game even starts. That’s because soprano Renée Fleming will sing the American anthem. . . . “You thought Jan. 23 was busy for you?” writes Janice Hough, aka the Left Coast Sports Babe. “How about all the comedians who had to dig up all their Lindsay Lohan jokes and cross out her name to insert Justin Bieber?” . . . Here’s Hough again: “Houston Mayor Annise Parker has wedded her longtime partner Kathy Hubbard in California. Texas law still prohibits gay marriage. But it’s still OK to shoot each other.” . . . That Wendy’s commercial might be watchable if the guy opened the fire extinguisher on Ms. Ginger. Maybe. . . .
“Baseball’s Carl Crawford and reality TV’s Evelyn Lozada (Chad Ochocinco’s ex) are engaged,” writes Greg Cote of the Miami Herald. “A date for their inevitable divorce has not yet been set.” . . . One more from Cote: “Marlins radio broadcasts switch from 790 The Ticket to WINZ 940 next season. Fans who listen to Marlins games on radio are split. One said he liked the change, the other isn’t sure.” . . . Left-hander CC Sabathia of the Yankees apparently has done some off-field work during the off-season. As Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News puts it: “The way he is losing weight, he is probably just C Sabathia now.” . . . Gotta wonder if it’s a contract year for the big fella. . . .
Comedian and blogger Torben Rolfsen, explaining how a winner was decided in the basketball game that featured Dennis Rodman celebrating the birthday of North Korea’s Kim Jong-un: “One team said ‘uncle.’ ” . . . Here’s CBS-TV’s Craig Ferguson on Rodman’s tour: “Dennis Rodman and the North Koreans — is this an episode of Scooby-Doo?” . . . And here’s Len Berman of ThatsSports.com on Rodman’s singing of Happy Birthday for his new BFFL: “It ranks No. 2 in the ‘Happy Birthday Presidential Top 10,’ right behind Marilyn.” . . . “Dennis Rodman is endorsing a line of signature vodka. No real news there,” scribbles Brad Rock of the Deseret News. “But wouldn’t it make more sense if the Worm had his own line of tequila?” . . .
Considering Justin Bieber’s latest problems — Egging a neighbour’s home. Really? Street racing. Etc., etc. — blogger T.C. Chong wonders: “Is Biebs old enough to run for mayor of Toronto?” . . . Here’s Chong again: “A teen who tried to board a flight in Edmonton was caught with a pipe bomb in his carry-on luggage. Security agents offered to return the bomb to him, but would not give him back his 250ml bottle of shampoo.” . . . Chong is on a roll: “Washington State and Colorado football fans are convinced this is their year, and they will meet in the Super Bowl. My question is ‘What have you guys been smoking?’ ” . . . “Montreal quarterback Anthony Calvillo has retired after 20 seasons,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “He leaves as the CFL's all-time leader in passing yards gained and Canadian Tire money earned.” . . .
Headline at TheOnion.com: Bulls Assure Fans Derrick Rose Will Be Part Of Team's Payroll For Years To Come. . . . Just wondering, but does Canadian tennis star Milos Raonic move well enough to get into the ATP’s top five and stay there? . . . Yes, he can serve, but is that enough to get him into the top five and keep him there? . . .
Here’s a tale from The Sports Curmudgeon (aka Jack Finarelli): “A couple months ago, I mentioned that a husband – a Chicago Bears fan – used a Taser on his wife – a Green Bay Packers fan – because they had a bet on the Bears/Packers game which the Bears won. The stakes of the wager were that the winner would use the Taser on the loser. (Aside: I have to believe that the consumption of adult beverages preceded the decision on the stakes of the wager here.) Well, when hubby collected on the bet, his wife called the police. I know; you are shocked to hear that. . . . (Ultimately), hubby pleaded no contest to charges of disorderly conduct and paid a $250 fine. The Bears and Packers will play each other twice next season … and the season after that …”
Up against The Grammy’s last Sunday night, the NFL’s Pro Bowl had 11.4 million viewers in the U.S. . . . Major League Baseball’s 2013 All-Star Game drew 11.0 million viewers. . . . You are correct. There is no doubt who is king. . . . Earlier Sunday, the New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils, playing in Yankee Stadium, drew a peak audience of 2.299 million to NBC. The average audience was 2.079 million. . . .
With Dutch prostitutes said to be demanding the same tax-free pension fund to which pro soccer players have access, Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News asks: “Isn’t this where an agent steps in and threatens to have his clients sit out next season?” . . . “Among this month’s most popular attractions at the Seattle Aquarium: a hermit crab who makes his home inside a tiny Seahawks helmet, named Marshawn Pinch,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “What, no Pete Coral?”
(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)
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