Saturday, April 5, 2014





A tweet from Jack Todd, who columnizes in the Montreal Gazette, regarding forward Brendan Gallagher of the Canadiens: “Gallagher is harder to get rid of than a mustard stain on a white shirt.” . . . Gallagher is one pest who plays the same way in the NHL that he did in junior, and there may not be a player in the big league who is more fun to watch. . . . Having undergone back surgery, Tiger Woods won’t be playing in the Masters next week. Which makes one wonder why they didn’t postpone the tournament until, say, August. . . . What will Woods' absence mean to the Masters? The way Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald sees it, "This means 38th place is wide open." . . .
Before former Kamloops Blazers star Tim Bozon is back to 100 per cent, his family is going to face medical- and rehabilitation-related bills that will be well into six figures. So why doesn’t an NHL player or former player who has more than US$50 million in career earnings step to the plate and hit the ball out of the park? . . . “Hate to break it to my friends in Montreal,” writes Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun, “but baseball isn’t returning: It’s a nice story. It’s emotional. Just not happening.” . . . Simmons is right. Sheesh, where would a Montreal MLB team play? And don’t even think about the Big Owe. . . .
Logan Stieber, a wrestler at Ohio State, won an NCAA title on March 22, something that was worth a bonus of $18,447.94 for athletic director Gene Smith. . . . When Aaron Harrison's three-pointer sent the Kentucky men's basketball team into the Final Four, it was worth $329,166 in bonuses for head coach John Calipari, his assistant coaches and athletic director Mitch Barnhart. . . . Gee, do you think maybe college athletes need a union? . . . The world speed-skiing record belongs to Italy's Simone Origone, who hit 156.8 miles per hour in the French Alps. According to Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: "Origone credited perfect skiing conditions and a good coating of Clark Griswold’s latest kitchen-lubricant spray.” . . .
Yes, there are some humorous moments on Twitter, where even God has an account (@TheTweetOfGod). This week, one of God's tweets was: "I spend about two-thirds of My time deciding the outcome of sporting events." . . . A mid-week tweet from Ron Judd of the Seattle Times: “Washington state announces pot licensees to be picked randomly by 3rd party accounting firm Ernst, Young, Cheech & Chong.” . . . Thanks to athletic director Ken Olynyk and sports information officer Larry Read for the hospitality and the recognition at the TRU awards banquet on Thursday night. . . .
“A Vincent Lecavalier shot went post-crossbar-post and out,” notes Erik Rolfsen of the Vancouver Province, in reference to a recent NHL game. “It's rare for an NHL player to hit three bars without scoring.” . . . After NDP MLA Jenny Kwan repaid $35,000 for family travels that included treks to Disneyland and Europe, Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong noted: “She now has taken a leave of absence. When asked ‘What are you going to do next?’ she replied, ‘I’m going to Disney World.’ ” . . . Ahh, B.C. politics. There’s no life like it. . . .
If you missed it, Pat Robertson, the evangelist, recently was quoted as saying that “Jesus wouldn’t bake a cake for a gay wedding.” To which Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, points out: “As if they would have wanted Him to bake a cake. The happy couple surely would have preferred that water into wine bit.” . . . Headline at theonion.com: Ryan Braun desperate to regain trust of fans before cheating again. . . . Oakland's O.co Coliseum continues to have problems with raw sewage ending up in clubhouses and dugouts. It happened again the other night, after which A's reliever Sean Doolittle, obviously a fan of the NFL's Oakland Raiders, tweeted: "Commitment to Excrement! Just win baby!" . . .
“I just saw a video of Kate Upton posing in zero gravity for Sports Illustrated's 2014 Swimsuit Issue,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “So much for Pavel Bure being my all-time favourite floater.” . . . One more from Currie: “North Korea's supreme leader, Kim Jong-un, reportedly decreed young men must sport hairdos like his. ‘Hey!’ said the Calgary Flames. ‘Don't give Brian Burke ideas.’ ” . . . A brief quiz from the aforementioned Perry: "The Walking Dead is a TV series based on: a) a post-apocalyptic world dominated by flesh-eating zombies, or b) this year’s L.A. Lakers?” . . .
According to Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express, “A woman in Utah tried to burn down her ex-boyfriend’s house with a flaming pile of bacon. The woman’s last name? Crispi.” . . . “Forgetting to set the clock for Daylight Saving Time may have caused a car bomber in Dublin to blow himself up,” notes comedy writer Jim Barach. “He learned the hard way about what it is like to really spring forward.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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