Keeping Score

Scott Ostler, in the San Francisco Chronicle: “The Tampa Bay Rays were the first sports team to experiment with ballpark smells, or so they think. The Rays hired a company to mist fans with a ‘citrus burst’ aroma. Actually, the 49ers beat them to the punch. They’ve smelled like a lemon most of the season. The Raiders, not to be outdone, treat their fans to ‘Eau de Rotting Corpse.’ ” . . . Here’s Julio Grondona, the president of the Argentine Football Association, chatting up The Independent: “Having Maradona as our manager creates anticipation like your wedding night. It’s tremendously exciting, and you really hope that it will be wonderful, but you never actually know what’s going to happen.” . . . And then there’s this, from The Independent’s Nick Harris, who was at the airport in Glasgow earlier in the week when Maradona and his team arrived for a mid-week friendly: “The only disappointed person in the crowd was a girl aged about 10 who looked perplexed at all the attention given to the day’s star turn. ‘I thought it was going to be Madonna,’ she said.”
Dwight Perry, in the Seattle Times: “The Chicago White Sox are already making plans for Barack Obama Bobblehead Night next season, featuring a doll of the president-elect wearing the cap of his favorite Sox. So what’s next, Sarah Palin Field-Dressing Night at a Manitoba Moose game?” . . . Which reminds me of the time the Regina Pats’ bus, on its way home from Flin Flon, hit a moose on a cold winter night. The driver had the players move their gear from the luggage bunks underneath and help him stuff the moose in there to keep it cold. . . . According to Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon StarPhoenix, Major League Baseball’s all-time home run hitter spent some time hunting at a game ranch in Saskatchewan this autumn. You can visit christensenarms.com to see video evidence of Barry Bonds on the hunt. Hutchinson writes: “The buck Bonds shot is said to be an impressive 193 inches. I don’t know much about hunting, but I think 193 inches is about the same as Bonds’s hat size during the BALCO era.” . . . Our man Mark Hunter knows something about hunting after breaking his maiden a couple of weeks ago. He was shocked, however, to learn that the deer had larger guns than his.
Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “Dwyane Wade is back, Michael Beasley will be a star, Mario Chalmers is getting rave reviews and the Heat has a winning record. Uh oh. Sounds like Pat Riley might be getting the coaching itch again!” . . . One more from Cote: “In a flurry the Marlins have traded Mike Jacobs, Scott Olsen, Josh Willingham and now Kevin Gregg — all designed to save money. You know the lady in the supermarket riffling through a thick book of coupons at the register in order to save 28 cents? That’s the Marlins.” . . . Stumbled on an all-Elvis-all-the-time channel on XM Radio the other day. So much for listening to the NHL Centre Ice channel when LGIW (that would be the Luckiest Girl in The World) is traveling with me. . . . Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “If the federal government is planning bailouts in Detroit, shouldn’t it really start with the Lions?” . . . Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press looks ahead to Thursday: “What do Lions fans have to look forward to this month? For one thing, a marquee Thanksgiving matchup between the Lions and the Tennessee Titans, who very well could be 0-11 and 11-0, respectively. Stay the course, pilgrims.”
It will be interesting to keep an eye on the Oregon State men’s basketball program for the next while. The team was 0-18 in the Pac-10 last season and 6-25 overall. But the coach now is Craig Robinson, who just happens to be the older brother of Michelle Obama, the wife of the president-elect of the United States. . . . Is it really only seven more sleeps until the Santa Claus Parade? . . . If Ryan Dempster is worth US$52 million over four years, how much is someone going to overpay for A.J. Burnett’s services? . . . Elliott Harris, in the Chicago Sun-Times: “Country singer Mindy McCready, Roger Clemens’ off-field distraction for more than a decade when he was playing baseball, told the New York Daily News, ‘I never wanted to marry Roger Clemens. I wanted him to do right by his family.’ Huh?” . . . Gotta think Mindy is going to come out with a real hurtin’ song one of these days. . . . Jeff Schultz, in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “And Mark Cuban probably assumed the Jason Kidd trade would be the low point of his year.”
After San Francisco right-hander Tim Lincecum was named winner of the NL Cy Young Award, Janice Hough, the Left Coast Sports Babe, noted: “Amazingly, he did it without the benefit of pitching against the Giants.” . . . And was it only four summers ago when Lincecum was pitching for the Seattle Studs at the Kamloops International Baseball Tournament? . . . Michael Vick’s lawyer astounded football fans last week when he stated that his client is hoping to return to the NFL when he gets out of the Crowbar Hotel. To which Hough noted: “Vick is at least hoping to be paroled to the equivalent of a halfway house — like the Detroit Lions or San Francisco 49ers.”
Running back Maurice Jones-Drew of the Jacksonville Jaguars was a star at UCLA. The other day, during a radio show on L.A.’s KLAA 830, he was asked about the difference between Los Angeles and Jacksonville. His response: “In L.A. you have the high life and Hollywood. In Jacksonville, you have alligators.” . . . Phil Mushnick of the New York Post writes that “reader Mark Morley of Ridgefield, Conn., figures that with ESPN’s World Series of Poker contestants tracking so young — the winner of last week’s final is 22 years old — ESPN next will present the Little League World Series of Poker.”
Gregg Drinnan is sports editor
of The Daily News. He is at
gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca.
Keeping Score appears Saturdays.