Keeping Score

After the NFL reinstated Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam (Pacman) Jones, who had been in an alcohol rehab facility, Randy Galloway of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram wrote: “PacRat doesn’t have a drinking problem. He’s got a stupid problem. You can’t rehab stupid, OK?” . . . Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on Jones getting another chance from the NFL: “As I’ve said before, it’s all part of the NFL’s tough new ‘32 strikes and you’re out’ policy.” . . . Headline at Fark.com: “Pacman gets 10,000 points, another life.” . . . Reggie Hayes, in the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel: “Babe Ruth’s last road uniform, from the 1938 Brooklyn Dodgers, was sold for $310,500 at the Louisville Slugger Museum. It’s historic because he wore it when he first met Madonna.”
Kelly Frank recently was fired after five seasons as Raymond, the mascot representing the Tampa Bay Rays. Which only goes to prove, according to Todd Dewey of the Las Vegas Review-Journal: “Everybody doesn’t like Raymond.” . . . TRU’s volleyball teams play their final home games of 2008 tonight at the Tournament Capital Centre and they’re calling it Food Bank Night. Fans are asked to bring non-perishable food items for the TRU Student Food Bank. In return, your name goes into a draw for a backpack full of WolfPack gear or a team jacket. One of each will be given away at halftime of each game. They’re playing the U of Saskatchewan Huskies, with the women on the floor at 5 p.m., and the men following — geez, aren’t men always following women? — at 6:30. . . . While you’re there, say hi to Larry Read, the hardest-working man in Canadian university sports.
Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon StarPhoenix: “I read this week that the Tampa Bay Lightning can’t trade Vincent Lecavalier, Martin St. Louis and Andrej Meszaros because they have ‘no movement’ clauses. This sounds like something that should be discussed with a physician.” . . . One more from Hutchinson: “When I heard there was going to a bailout of the Big 3, I thought, ‘Why would taxpayers’ money be used to help the Raptors, Blue Jays and Maple Leafs?’ ” . . . Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “Montreal and Calgary played Sunday evening for the Canadian Football League’s Grey Cup championship. Nice trophy name. What, ‘Dull Cup’ already was taken?” . . . One more from Cote: “Aging George Steinbrenner officially handed over control of the Yankees to his son Hal this week. Sounds like a good idea, and it made me wonder: Mustn’t Al Davis have kids?”
Did you know: The NHL plans on having six teams open the 2009-10 regular season in Europe and hopes to have eight teams do it to begin the 2010-11 season. This season, you’ll recall, began with four teams across the pond. . . . “The CFL’s Edmonton Eskimos announced Thursday that Danny Maciocia was stepping down as head coach,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “Maciocia now will go back to his old job — as a jockey.” . . . A third shot from the aforementioned Hutchinson: “LeBron James is expected to leave Cleveland at the end of the 2010 season. He says he has always wanted to play for Brian Burke.” . . . Janice Hough, the West Coast Sports Babe: “Eddie Jordan was fired as coach of the Washington Wizards after the team got off to a 1-10 start. What does it say about the U.S. when we can fire a lousy coach after a month, but for a lousy president, we have to wait four years?”
Isn’t it absolutely amazing how Brian Burke was able to orchestrate his departure from the Anaheim Ducks and his arrival in Hogtown as the grand pooh-bah of the Toronto Maple Laffs and there has been nary a word from the NHL office? Is there any other employee of any NHL team who could have pulled off a stunt like this while a season is in progress? . . . And what happens to Burke’s ego when he, like so many others before him, is unable to lift the Maple Leafs out of the dumpster? . . . General Motors has ended its US$7-million-a-year promotional deal with golf’s Tiger Woods. Perhaps the CEO needed to fill up his private jet for another trip to Washinton, D.C. . . . Somehow, it’s doubtful that Tiger will miss the dough. As Barry Rozner of the Chicago Daily Herald points out: “Tiger Woods earned more in six tournaments this year ($5.77 million) than Jack Nicklaus took home in 594 starts ($5.73 million) on the PGA Tour.”
It’s been over a year since Tennessee men’s basketball coach Bruce Pearl and his wife divorced after 25 years of marriage. Using her alimony, Kim Shrigley has set up a hair and nail salon in Knoxville. And, according to the Knoxville News Sentinel, she’s calling it Alimony’s. By the way, anyone who is receiving alimony will get a 15-per-cent discount at Alimony’s. . . . Remember when the Montreal Canadiens were the Flyin’ Frenchmen? It seems like a million years ago, doesn’t it? Especially after you read this quote from Tomas Plekanec: “We didn’t forecheck.” The Habs beat the Red Wings in Detroit, 3-1, on Wednesday but you have to ask yourself: Is this what the game has come to? If the answer is yes, well, it’s a real shame.
Have you noticed how many people drive around at night without their headlights on? Like, do these people walk around their homes in the dark, or what? . . . Free-agent bat Manny Ramirez has yet to sign with anyone, but you know that his agent, Scott Boras, is doing all he can for his client. Here’s Dan Daly, in the Washington Times: “Scott Boras, of course, tells us his client isn’t nearly as self-absorbed as he’s made out to be. To prove his point — and increase his market value — Boras will probably have him return to the Dominican Republic in the next few days and organize the Million Manny March.” . . . One more from Daly: “Did you see Tony Romo, the Cowboys’ heartthrob/quarterback, took a homeless man to the movies recently? Unless, of course, it was just Bill Belichick messin’ with him.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News.
He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca.
Keeping Score appears Saturdays.