Open season on Tiger . . . Studs own KIBT . . . Nuke Laloosh in the money

Some folks are having fun piling on Tiger Woods these days, not that he isn’t an inviting target. . . . Early in the week, someone asked Woods if he was having any thoughts about retirement. “I don't have an AARP card yet,” he replied, “so I'm a long ways from that.” AARP used to be the American Association of Retired Persons; now it’s just AARP. . . . Woods then went out and shot 76 to start The Open Championship. After which AARP tweeted at Woods: “It's better to be over 50 than it is to be over par.” . . . And then there are the folks who operate the Twitter account Fake ESPN. On Thursday, they tweeted: “World Golf Rankings: 1. Rory McIlroy 2. Jordan Spieth . . . 239. Charles Barkley 240. 4-year-old on windmill mini-golf hole 241. Tiger Woods.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Tiger Woods fires swing coach Charles Barkley. . . .

“You know this year's all-star game was the first without a starter from the Red Sox or Yankees since 1945,” writes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “That's almost the last year the U.S. presidential election didn't have a Clinton or a Bush on the ballot.” . . . Hough, again: “Not only did Mexican drug lord El Chapo escape, he did so via a lighted and ventilated tunnel, over a mile long, which he somehow had built while inside a maximum security prison. It’s a shame this guy is such a bad dude, Caltrans could use him to oversee some of its building projects.” . . . One more from Hough: “Donald Trump was bragging (Wednesday) that he is worth $10 billion. That must give such a warm fuzzy feeling to creditors of his four companies that have declared bankruptcy.” . . .

In case you missed it, and The Left Coast Sports Babe might have, the Seattle Studs won KIBT (the Kamloops International Baseball Tournament) for a fifth straight year last weekend. . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Officials: Escaped N.Y. prisoners were hoping to join Florida State football team. . . . One more from the gang at SportsPickle.com: Most Phillies not expected to return after escaping team over All-Star break. . . . After the U.S. signed a nuclear arms deal with Iran, Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel wanted to know: “Did we acquire any future draft picks or free up any cap space?” . . .

The American Homebrewers Association has named Pliny the Elder as the best beer in the U.S. To which RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com responded: “I thought Pliny the Elder was the latest signing by the San Antonio Spurs.” . . . Guard Ty Lawson of the Denver Nuggets has experienced a second DUI arrest in six months. As comedy writer Alan Ray puts it: “He led his team in double-doubles last season — mostly Jack and Cokes.” . . . Jordan Hill used to play with the Los Angeles Lakers; now he’s with the Indiana Pacers. How did he enjoy his time with the Lakers? “All you hear is Kobe’s mouth,” Hill says. . . . Hope he wasn’t surprised at that. . . .

Sorry, Bryce Harper, but Mike Trout is the best player in MLB right now. Here’s Detroit Tigers pitcher David Price, to ESPN, after Tuesday’s All-Star Game: “I just sit there and laugh when he goes out there and does what he does. I'll shoot him a text. And I'll be like, 'Hey, you do know that this is the highest league? There's not a higher league, in case you're bored right now.' But he has to keep playing with us, keep playing with us common guys.” . . . Amanda Belichick is the new women’s lacrosse coach with the Holy Cross Crusaders. The College of the Holy Cross is located in Worcester, 46 miles northwest of Foxboro, Mass., which is where her father, Bill, has his office. . . .

A query from Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen: “Did they ever find a cure for Saturday Night Fever?” . . . “Among this year’s canceled NFL promotions,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times, “is the New York Giants’ Jason Pierre-Paul/‘We’re No. 1’ Foam Finger Night.” . . . We close this week with a note from Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent: “A horse named Nuke Laloosh finished in the money at a race at Los Alamitos recently. He reportedly celebrated with a mare named Annie.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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A quiz from Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “Seahawks fans will remember the ill-fated goal-line pass in the final seconds of Super Bowl XLIX as: a) Picked and Rolled; b) The Wrongest Yard; c) The Agony of Deflate.” . . . “Amazing that Russell Wilson is receiving virtually zero blame for the Interception Heard Round the World,” writes Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginia-Pilot. “I’m not making him out to be the goat, but had his pass been lower and not so far in front of Ricardo Lockette, it’s less likely the ball would have been picked off. Some guys get – maybe earn – special treatment after they make a crucial mistake. Fair enough. But if Tony Romo had turned the ball over at the goal line like that in the Super Bowl, he’d be assuming a false identity and moving to Latvia.” . . .

“The Vancouver Canucks have called up rookie Latvian forward Ronalds Kenins, who has already scored two goals in three games,” noted Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong earlier this week. “Ronalds says the Canucks looks like they can use all the helps they can gets.” . . . The WHL held its winter meetings in Las Vegas earlier this month. One supposes that all the hotels in Lethbridge, Moose Jaw, Swift Current, Prince Albert, Brandon, etc., were booked, thus forcing the pooh-bahs to go south. . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: New NCAA regulations prohibit student-athletes from studying more than 30 hours per week. . . .

Comedian Argus Hamilton had this take on Deflategate: “(New England Patriots owner) Bob Kraft referred questions about deflated footballs to Bill Belichick, who denied all wrongdoing and blamed Tom Brady, who denied wrongdoing and blamed the ballboys, who might rat out everyone. We baby boomers loved it. For one beautiful day, Nixon was still president and we were all young again.” . . . “The Chicago Cubs’ renovation of Wrigley Field has caused a huge neighbourhood rat infestation,” reports comedy writer Alex Kaseberg. “The good news? They’re Cubs rats, so they’ll be gone by October.” . . .

“As for Warren Sapp’s arrest,” writes Ray Ratto of CSNbayarea.com, “not paying for two hookers he apparently had employed for his own post-Super Bowl party will not help his credit rating, and not just with the International Fille de Joie Workers Guild, especially given that he filed for bankruptcy three years ago. Unpaid debts are a real red flag there, Skippy. On the other hand, Pete Carroll and Johnny Manziel both appreciate Sapp’s effort on their behalf.” . . . Here’s Ratto, again: “It’s an old saying, but an occasionally apt one, so when (head coach) Todd McLellan said the Sharks, who gave away a point to the hideous Edmontons on Monday night, ‘didn’t have the piss and vinegar that it takes to win,’ we elders knew to what he was referring. That said, a lot of the team’s younger players were afraid just what kind of energy drinks they would be offered at Tuesday’s practice.” . . .

On July 27, 2011, shortly after Eric Weddle signed with the San Diego Chargers, Sapp tweeted: “8 million a year for a safety you couldn’t pick out of a lineup!” . . . On Tuesday, after Sapp’s arrest, Weddle fired back: “Thank you for the motivation the last 4 yrs. I really appreciated it. #whoisinthelineupnow.” . . . Liquidation sales began at Target stores on Thursday. Had some of the bargain-seekers who showed up been even semi-regular Target shoppers, all of the employees might still have jobs there a year from now. . . .

The Philippines is the call-centre capital of the world but, as Torben Rolfsen, the host of The Rolfsen Report on TSN 1040 Vancouver, points out: “And still Mayweather and Pacquaio have trouble communicating.” . . . Here’s Rolfsen, again: “NBC News anchor Brian Williams recanted his story about coming under fire on a helicopter in Iraq. He now says it was Lance Armstrong's girlfriend.” . . . Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, asks: “Anyone but me want to see Lance Armstrong play against Brian Williams in a rousing game of Liar’s Dice?” . . .

“Orange News says Beijing police questioned a man who rode the subway wearing a watermelon mask,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “All they got was his name, rank and Mosaic Stadium seat number.” . . . “How about the drama surrounding the Winnipeg Jets?” asks Currie. “Throw in Humphrey Bogart, and you’d have the Kane Mutiny.” . . . If you weren’t aware, Sports Illustrated has laid off all of its staff photographers. Which means, as comedy writer Tim Hunter points out, that “this year’s Swimsuit Issue could be entirely selfies.” . . . Just wondering, but how is it still Sports Illustrated if it has dumped all of its photographers? . . .

“Tiger Woods has withdrawn from the PGA Tour’s Farmers Insurance Open, leaving midway through the first round with a back injury,” notes The Left Coast Sports Babe. “So over at ESPN, they no longer have to worry this weekend about covering golf.” . . . It seems to me that Woods’ body simply has broken down. Could it be that we have seen the last of him in the top 50? Top 100?. . . “I think it's time for Randy Carlyle to be considered for coach of the year,” tweets Bruce Penton of the Medicine Hat News. . . . A tweet from Ken Campbell of The Hockey News: “Just looking at Martin Brodeur's draft year in 1990. He outscored four skaters taken in the first round of that draft. Had 47 career points.” . . .

Headline at fark.com: British boxer Ricky Hatton’s house robbed after he tweeted he’d be out of town for the weekend / He really telegraphed that one. . . . Letroy Guion, a defensive tackle with the Greent Bay Packers, is facing marijuana- and gun-related charges. As comedy writer Alan Ray noted: “The NFL will follow its routine judicial protocol — Innocent until proven a liability.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.