Keeping Score

From The Daily News of Saturday, Nov. 10, 2007 . . .

Shortly after signing a $67.5-million deal, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony
Romo was seen with Britney Spears. After which Reggie Hayes of the Fort
Wayne, Ind., News-Sentinel noted: “This is starting to sound like a vintage
beer commercial: More money! Less taste!” . . . Charley Walters of the St.
Paul Pioneer Press reports: “A little birdie says Vikings running back
Adrian Peterson, on the day before he set the NFL rushing record with 296
yards against the Chargers, carbo-loaded with shrimp, chicken fettuccine, a
po’ boy and lots of oysters at Stella’s Fish Café in Minneapolis’ Uptown.” .
. . “In other NFL news,” added Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times, “running
backs for the league’s 31 other teams will henceforth order their pregame
takeout from Stella’s Fish Café in Minneapolis’ Uptown.”
A writer with The Associated Press asked Jacksonville Jaguars running back
Fred Taylor what Quinn Gray, a 254-pound quarterback, brings to the table.
The answer: “Probably some ribs, some chicken.” . . . The New York Jets will
visit the New England Patriots on Dec. 16. You will recall that it was the
Jets who ratted out the Patriots in the NFL’s version of Spygate. Notes Cris
Collinsworth of nbcsports.com: “How much will they run up the score on the
Jets? You’re going to need an NBA scoreboard for that one.” . . . Some NFL
games worth waiting for: Green Bay at Dallas, Nov. 22, and Green Bay at
Detroit, Nov. 29. . . . And how about the hapless Miami Dolphins at the
cheatin’ Patriots on Dec. 23? . . . The Dolphins might be 0-14 and the
Patriots 14-0 come two nights before Christmas. Ho-ho-ho!
No more playing touch football, tag and other ‘chase’ games during recess at
an elementary school in Attleboro, Mass. Gaylene Heppe, the principal at
Willett Elementary, has said that recess is “a time when accidents can
happen.” . . . Mr. Flip, who writes the Flip Side column for the Baltimore
Sun, suggests that jumping rope also should be banned because “while some
girl is busy talking about Miss Mary Mack, she might double clutch during
double dutch.” . . . Kansas City Chiefs head coach Herm Edwards would never
appear on Fox’s Best Damn Sports Show Period because of the show’s name. So
for one recent day the name of the show was changed to Best Darn Sports Show
Period and Edwards was one of the guests. Oh yes, they also gave him tickets
to a Los Angeles Lakers game.
CBS-TV’s David Letterman, after Joe Torre signed with the Los Angeles
Dodgers: “Who wouldn’t take earthquakes and wildfires over George
Steinbrenner?” . . . If you are a regular reader you will know that Lance
Armstrong has been spotted around and about with actress (?) Ashley Olsen.
Y’er welcome. . . . And here’s Jay Leno’s take: “First he was going out with
Sheryl Crow, then there were rumors that he was dating Jennifer Aniston. Now
he’s going out with Ashley Olsen? Imagine the babes this guy would get if he
owned a car. That’s just with a bike!” . . . After Dallas tight end Jason
Witten lost his helmet during a play last weekend, Mike Ditka, working on
ESPN, explained why that never happened to him: “I had this pretty face I
had to protect.” . . . When the owners of the Kamloops Blazers get their new
management team in place, don’t be surprised if Dale Saip is a part of it.
Saip, presently the Vancouver Giants’ director of business development, was
in the house during a recent Blazers home game. . . . And, yes, look for
Craig Bonner, the former Blazers defenceman, captain and assistant coach, to
be part of the show, too. He’s now the Giants assistant GM/assistant coach.
“I would say that every woman in New England between the ages of 2 and 80 is
nice to me so that they can meet him,” Patriots owner Robert Kraft told
Bloomberg News. The subject was quarterback Tom Brady. . . . How long before
the New York Knicks are NBA contenders? As TNT analyst Charles Barkley told
studio host Ernie Johnson: “I’ll be skinny, you’ll have an Afro — that’s how
long it will be.” . . . Jack Todd, in the Montreal Gazette: “You kids out
there, next time you have an English test, this is the definition of
‘irony’: While the Canadian Football League is promoting its ‘green’ Grey
Cup game in Toronto on Nov. 25, (Montreal Alouettes) coach Jim Popp is
driving the biggest Hummer money can buy. That’s ‘irony.’ ”
Jerry Greene, in the Orlando Sentinel: “For many of us, the Star Wars films
are the iconic clash of ‘Good vs. Evil’ in the entertainment medium. As it
turned out Sunday, we saw the NFL version of Episode V — The Empire Strikes
Back. Darth Vader is alive and well — and the Death Star is still based over
Boston. If you have any doubt about who is the evil ruler of the NFL empire,
did you see how New England’s Bill Belichick ignored Indianapolis’ Tony
Dungy at the end?” . . . One more from Greene: “The Naval Academy canceled
classes Monday to celebrate beating Notre Dame for the first time in 43
years. Wonder what they canceled at Notre Dame?” . . . Good to see former
Blazers captain Gable Gross on the executive of the newly formed WHL Alumni
Association. He’ll only help that organization.
Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “Kobe Bryant, amid trade rumors, opened the
Lakers season with a 45-point game. He would have scored 50, but he was
unhappy.” . . . One more from Cote: “The Yankees hired Joe Girardi to
replace Joe Torre as manager, fulfilling their goal of hiring the Best
Available Joe. You remember Girardi. He was the guy not good enough to keep
managing the Marlins, but now is in charge of the most famous team in
America.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at
gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.