After former Miami Dolphins head coach Don Shula suggested the New England Patriots would deserve an asterisk should they go 19-0, Dan Daly of the Washington Times responded: “You can understand his protectiveness toward the one-and-only ‘72 Dolphins. Take them away – their 17-0 singularity – and he might be remembered as The Coach Who Couldn’t Win an NFL Championship With Johnny Unitas or Dan Marino.” . . . Thomas Bonk, in the Los Angeles Times: “Confirming once again that you don’t have to win to become a multimillionaire on the PGA Tour, Sergio Garcia set a record for money won in one year without a victory -- $3.7 million. Congratulations on not winning, it sure was worth it.” . . . The Calgary Stampeders went 3-8 after dumping receiver Marc Boerigter. The Toronto Argonauts are 9-1 since adding him to their roster. . . . The Stampeders are expected to name John Hufnagel as their next head coach. But fans of the Saskatchewan Roughriders know that Hufnagel will only have success if accompanied by Joe Barnes. Or don’t you remember the days of J.J. Barnagel?
In case you haven’t noticed, scoring is down in the NHL. As Buffalo Sabres head coach Lindy Ruff noted the other day: “The whole league is getting the disease where there’s a lot of people back when you get to the blue line.” . . . In other words, the trap is back and it’s bigger than ever. . . . NASCAR driver Tony Stewart has his own show on Sirius Radio. During a recent one, Jack from South Carolina called to ask: "Would you consider dating a woman that had a child?” Stewart’s response: "Absolutely. Are you kidding me? That's like a value meal. That's like getting fries and a drink with your sandwich." . . . Former Daily News publisher Dale Brin is cutting a wide swath through Saskatoon. Here’s Cam Hutchinson of the StarPhoenix: “I am taking no delight in the fact I have an insurmountable lead in the office hockey pool. The problem is I picked two teams that day, one for me and one for StarPhoenix publisher Dale Brin. With Dale currently in 10th place, I am now preparing both a victory speech and a resume.”
Perhaps someone will be able to explain someday how the Edmonton Eskimos fired offensive co-ordinator Jacques Chapdelaine and kept head coach Danny Macocia. But that day is at least a couple of years away. . . . Team roper Rocky Ross, who was at the Canadian Finals Rodeo in Edmonton last week, explained to the Edmonton Journal why he and his wife named one of their
sons Denim: "If I named him something like Milton or Francis, he probably would have been a chess player or something." . . . The Stastny family is creating quite an NHL legacy. It took Peter Stastny all of 73 games to record 100 NHL points, while brothers Marian (82) and Anton (95) also got there in a hurry. And now Paul, a Colorado Avalanche forward who is Peter's son, has
done it in 99 games. Considering that Paul is playing in this dead-puck era, that's impressive. . . . It's worth noting, too, that Peter and his brothers did it with the Quebec Nordiques, who morphed into the Avalanche. . . . The StarPhoenix’s Cam Hutchinson asks: “If the Stastnys were to put together a family band, I wonder if they would call it Peter, Paul and Marian?”
Here is Regan Bartel, the radio voice of the Kelowna Rockets, on his blog this week: “The
recent move by the Kamloops Blazers ownership to gas GM/head coach Dean Clark has me wondering what type of changes are in store for the team this summer. Is any employee of the Blazers safe?” . . . Which is about how the rest of the hockey world views the Blazers these days. . . . ESPN’s Tim Keown, on play in the NFL: “It’s my contention that 13 teams are currently unwatchable. They are awful, dead-carp-on-the-shore putrid. Living in the Bay Area, subjected to the weekly gruel of the Raiders and 49ers -- test patterns with punts -- leaves me in a particularly
advantageous position when it comes to judging unwatchability.” . . . Commenting on the rumoured relationship between Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen, Seth Meyers, co-host on Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update, noted: “They’ve even been spotted riding around the city on a bicycle built for one-and-a-quarter.” . . . Jeffrey Jordan, a guard with the Illinois basketball team, admits he plays better when his dad is in the crowd. "When he's there it kind of helps me a little bit because I know people aren't watching me so much," he said. Yes, Jeffrey is Michael’s son. Jeffrey, who played three minutes in his debut Sunday, walked on at Illinois rather than
attend Valparaiso on a scholarship.
Scott Ostler, in the San Francisco Chronicle: “I hear this is a great time to go to Vegas. The casinos are deserted because the NBA refs have gone back to work.” . . . Mike Bianchi, in the Orlando Sentinel: “Did you see where Reggie Bush just fired the sports agent he’s had since he turned pro? Probably because he was making more money with the sports agent he had in
college.” . . . Mark Kriegel, of FoxSports.com: “(Ben) Roethlisberger ran for 49 yards against Cleveland. That’s more yards than Reggie Bush got (rushing and receiving) against the Rams. Fortunately, Bush -- who just fired the guy who hooked him up with adidas, Visa, Subway and Pepsi -- still leads the league in endorsements.” . . . After Danish cyclist Bo Hamburger
admitted using EPO in the 1990s, Seattle Times reader Bill Littlejohn noted: “So, EPO served as Hamburger helper.”
Greg Cote, in the Miami Herald: “O.J. Simpson's stolen-memorabilia trial is under way in Las Vegas. O.J. is being defended by the ghost of Johnnie Cochran, who told jurors, ‘If the autograph is not legit, you must acquit’.” . . . One more from Cote: “WWE wrestling takes place Sunday and Monday at the downtown Miami and Sunrise arenas. Somebody tried to tell me pro wrestling was all staged. Isn't that ridiculous!?” . . . Cote, again: “In auto racing's Champ Car World Series, Team Australia has a driver named Will Power. My question: Is his wife Lady Willpower by Gary Puckett & The Union Gap?” . . . Cote had a good week: “Hockey's Eric Lindros has retired at 34,
hastened by a series of concussions. Friends tell Lindros he had a terrific career.” . . . Cote actually had a great week: “Sam Hornish Jr. has become the latest star driver to forsake open-wheel racing in favor of NASCAR. That flushing sound you hear is the future of IndyCar racing.”
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