Keeping Score

The NHL, under commissioner Gary Bettman, has yet to say whether it will allow its players to take part in the 2014 Olympic Winter Games in Russia. And now Bettman is under fire from another corner, and there is no way he can win this one. Here’s Alex Ovechkin’s mother, Tatyana, to the Washington Post: “How can Bettman not let them play? Doesn’t he understand what Olympics are? They stopped wars in ancient Greece for the Olympics. Wars. And he can’t stop his league for two weeks? This is nonsense.” . . . Tatyana owns two Olympic gold medals in women’s basketball. . . . Ian Douglas, an aspiring broadcaster who hangs out in our community, pulled double duty Friday night. He called the play of the high school football game between the Salmon Arm Golds and South Kamloops Titans from Hillside Stadium — it was available at www.bchighschoolfootball.com — and then hustled to Chase to do the Internet play-by-play of the junior B game between the Chiefs and the North Okanagan Knights. . . . Let’s just call it a Douglas Doubledip.
The Left Coast Sports Babe, with the NBA preparing to open with replacement referees: “Players are worried the inexperienced refs will do something unheard of — like call traveling.” . . . . Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle put it this way: “I hope the NBA’s replacement refs have access to the secret files, so they know which special favours to bestow on the superstars. Here’s one for you guys: Whatever LeBron does is a foul on the other guy.” . . . Comedian Bill Maher knows why Rio de Janeiro beat out Chicago when the IOC got down to awarding the 2016 Olympics: “For the Olympic Committee, it really came down to one simple question: Where do you want to spend your summer vacation, the land where supermodels invented the bikini wax or the land where fat guys invented deep-dish pizza?”
Dan Daly, in the Washington Times, after Chris Evert and Greg Norman went their separate ways after 15 months of marriage: “(Evert) has been wed now to an Australian (Greg Norman), a Brit (John Lloyd) and an American (Andy Mill), which puts her only a Frenchman away from the matrimonial grand slam. Memo to Eva Longoria: Don’t let Tony Parker out of your sight.” . . . Jerry Crowe, in the Los Angeles Times: “If nothing else, the apparent dissolution of the Greg Norman-Chris Evert union after only 15 months gives Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian a reachable number to beat.” . . . And then there’s Laura Andrassy, Norman’s other ex-wife, who offered: “I didn’t think it would last because they are both too alike. They are both high-profile, narcissistic people.”
Ian Hamilton, in the Regina Leader-Post: “The New York Daily News reports that, in a soon-to-be-released book, the former CEO of the U.S. cryonics company that froze Boston Red Sox legend Ted Williams says employees often took swings at Williams’ disembodied head. The culprits apparently did it without batting an eye.” . . . The St. Louis Blues have unveiled a statue in honour of retired defenceman Al MacInnis. So what do the Calgary Flames do? Change the name of the city to MacInnisville? . . . Thanks to the crew at RCSCC 137 Kamloops for the hospitality on Wednesday night. You have no idea how neat it was to take part in the inspection. . . . Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon StarPhoenix: “There was an awkward moment during the Battle of the Blades this week when Tie Domi beat up Kurt Browning.”
Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News, as the L.A. Dodgers stumbled to the finish line: “This isn’t exactly the Hollywood ending to the Dodger season that their skipper was looking for, is it? . . . Is Mannywood still a sensation out there? Or does that only happen with him when he’s looking to get paid again?” . . . So some of the Toronto Blue Jays’ high-priced and underachieving talent was unhappy with manager Cito Gaston. The Blue Jays, who opened 27-14, scrambled to win 75 games and that was the manager’s fault? . . . Gee, do you think any of those overpaid clowns lost any sleep after the Blue Jays laid off a bunch of average joes from their front office last week? . . . Five Somali pirates were arrested the other day after they attempted to capture a ship that just happened to be the 18,000-ton flagship of the French navy. As the Left Coast Sports Babe pointed out: “This is the worst Pirates performance since Pittsburgh wrapped up its 2009 MLB season.”
After the Lions ended their 19-game NFL losing streak with a victory over the Redskins, the headline at Fark.com read: Washington bails out Detroit once again. . . . The Sporting News has named what it believes are the best sports cities in North America. Pittsburgh, the home of the Steelers and Penguins, is No. 1; of course, it also is home to the Pirates. Toronto is the top Canadian city, at No. 36. One can only assume that the folks at The Sporting News haven’t heard of the Argos, Blue Jays, Maple Leafs and Raptors. . . . There have been reports that Plaxico Burress’s first night on Rikers Island was riddled with inmates taunts of “The Giants suck!” To which comedy writer Jerry Perisho noted: “In other words, prison is just like Philadelphia.”

Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca and gdrinnan.blogspot.com. Keeping Score returns Nov. 7.