Let’s be honest. The NHL could ask Alf and ET to pick its all-star teams and no one would care. . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Bills Celebrate 8th Straight Loss By Dumping Contents Of Garbage Can On Coach. . . . Another headline from The Onion bunch: NFL sends thousands of volunteers to help clean up NFC West. . . . John Daly has said that he played better golf while he was drunk. To which Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald wrote: “If heavy drinking really made you a better golfer, we’d have nine-time Masters champ Charlie Sheen.” . . . Isn’t it time for the Calgary Flames to trade Jarome Iginla and bring that smile back to his face? . . . Does it look to you as though anyone has fun playing for the Flames? . .
John Shannon of Sportsnet tweeted this the other day, as Calgary forward Olli Jokinen awaited word on a suspension: “Actually had a Flames fan ask me to lobby for two-year suspension for Jokinen . . . ouch.” . . . And then there is George Johnson, the Calgary Herald’s sports columnist, who tweeted this about the Flames: “Apparently, GM Darryl Sutter was seen on the bench during practice Thursday. Now THERE’s a way to calm the players’ jangling nerves.” . . . Tom Gaglardi, the Kamloops Blazers’ majority owner, would love nothing better than to own the Dallas Stars. However, Shannon speculated a week ago today on Hockey Central that Gaglardi has little chance at NHL ownership because of his having sued Vancouver Canucks owner Francesco Aquilini in what was a failed attempt to land ownership of that NHL team. . . .
Elliotte Friedman of Hockey Night in Canada, on his blog this week: “Doesn’t sound like Mark Cuban is interested in majority ownership of the (Dallas) Stars. Too bad. The Mavericks were a disaster area before he got there. It would also be quality entertainment, because if David Stern can barely stand him, there’s no way Gary Bettman would.” . . . Just the other day, first baseman Justin Morneau of the Minnesota Twins suggested he would like to see the fences at Target Field moved in a bit. All the easier to hit home runs, of course. . . . After which, Adam Hill of the Las Vegas Review-Journal wrote: “Think of how many more touchdowns the UNLV football team could score if the goal lines at Sam Boyd Stadium were moved to the 20-yard lines.” . . . In fairness to Morneau, we have yet to hear from Minnesota pitchers. . . .
Here’s one from the Left Coast Sports Babe: “The Buffalo Bills will not end up with a ‘perfect’ record this year, since they won their first game against the Detroit Lions. And to celebrate, the 1972 Miami Dolphins opened a case of really cheap generic beer.” . . . Hey, was it great to see a nice crowd at the ISC for the Subway Super Series game on Wednesday night, or what? But where are all those fans when their Blazers are playing? . . . After Indianapolis Colts receiver Austin Collie suffered a concussion in a game against the Philadelphia Eagles, SportsPickle.com used this headline: Michael Vick denies being involved in injury to Collie. . . . It has been almost a year since Elin and Tiger titillated our senses for a month or four and, just when we were wondering what would fill that void, there’s Eva and Tony and a whole bunch of texts. . . . Yes, here we go again. . . .
You may be aware that the Washington Redskins are one of the more dysfunctional organizations in the world today. How else to explain giving a contract including US$40 million in guaranteed money to a quarterback who doesn’t get along with the head coach? . . . Michael Silver, at Yahoo! Sports: “There are many things beyond my scope of comprehension, from quantum physics to the emotional makeup of the women in my household to Richard Gere’s acting career. And now, after Monday, you can add the Washington Redskins’ decision to give Donovan McNabb a five-year, $78 million contract extension at a time when the quarterback and his employers seem as compatible as Michael Moore and Sarah Palin.” . . . Michael Wilbon, in the Washington Post: “Only the Redskins could produce theater this absurd. Only the Redskins of the 21st century, a team that looks more and more like something out of Charlie Brown, could find such melodrama in every little thing.” . . . If you didn’t hear, Wilbon left the Post this week after 32 years. He’s joining ESPN on a full-time basis. . . .
The gang at Rivershore Chrysler is going full-speed ahead for your Christmas Cheer Fund. Larriena Lonsberry reports that donations are closing in on $100. Don’t forget that the Cheer fund gets $100 for every new vehicle sold through Dec. 15. They also are asking folks to drop off toys and donations for the food bank. You are able to go in and put those donations right into the 2011 Patriot in the showroom. . . . After being named the National League’s rookie of the year, San Francisco Giants catcher Buster Posey was asked if he would do the ‘I’m going to Disneyland’ commercial. According to the Left Coast Sports Babe: “Posey declined, saying he wanted to wait until he was old enough to go on all the rides.’’ . . .
After that confrontation between Sean Avery of the New York Rangers and the Edmonton Oilers’ Ladislav Smid, former Kamloops Blazers centre Erik Christensen told the New York Post: “It looked to me like he suckered him; I’m not going to deny it. I mean, everyone could see.’’ . . . Christensen, of course, plays for the Rangers. . . . And good on him for saying what everyone else was thinking. . . . Call him the Bill Bennett of the NHL if you want. . . . Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon StarPhoenix: “Did I just read Tim Hortons is closing 36 under-performing franchises in New England and wants Gary Bettman’s approval to move them to Canada?” . . .
The Golden Baseball League, which once took a serious look at putting a team in Kamloops, has merged with the Northern and United leagues to form the North American League. It will, according to a news release, “have 16-20 teams in multiple countries and cover many of the major markets in the U.S. and Canada in 2011 with expansion already set for 2012.” . . . Did you hear about the guy who met a fairy and was granted one wish? When he asked to live forever, he was told the fairy wasn’t allowed to grant such wishes. “Fine,” said the guy. “I want to die when the Leafs win the Stanley Cup.” . . . That showed up in my email. I do believe it was sent by a fan of the Vancouver Canucks. And they have won how many Stanley Cups? . . . Hey, just asking. . . . And one more headline from The Onion: Brett Favre Claims He’s One Loss Away From Career-Ending Injury.
Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. Email him at gdrinnan@kamloopsnews.ca, follow him at twitter.com/gdrinnan, or visit his blog at gdrinnan.blogspot.com. Keeping Score appears Saturdays.
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