Sunday, December 4, 2016

KS: Martha and Snoop . . . Colon and Dickey . . . Did Tiger win a major?


A tweet from Randy Turner (@randyturner15) of the Winnipeg Free Press: “Independence Day was a movie about aliens going from planet to planet sucking all resources. In a related story, the Arizona Coyotes are moving to Tempe.” . . . One more tweet from Turner: “I still don’t appreciate the way TSN cuts away after Jets games like they’ve just robbed a bank.” . . . The Chicago Cubs end a 108-year drought. Donald Trump is the president-elect of the world’s most-powerful nation. Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg are business partners. Hey, is this a great time to be alive or what? . . . 

TC Chong, the Richmond, B.C., blogger, had plans for the weekend: “Time to put up the Christmas lights and pick up the leg-hold traps I set for the Pokemon players.” . . . Just wondering but are you as tired as I am of listening to people’s telephone conversations while out doing Christmas shopping? . . . After the Atlanta Braves, about to move into a new stadium, signed aging right-handers Bartolo Colon and R.A. Dickey — actually, Colon is 43, and Dickey is 42 — comedy writer Marc Ragovin wondered: “What is the name of their new place? Jurassic Park?” . . . 

In case you weren’t aware, the Cleveland Browns, who are 0-12, had a bye this weekend. As comedy writer Alex Kaseberg noted going into the weekend: “Las Vegas has the Browns vs. Bye as too close to call.” . . . The Vancouver Sun, a Postmedia product, had a full page in Saturday’s sports section on airplane crashes involving the sporting world. Unfortunately, there isn’t a mention of the 1956 crash near Chilliwack that took the lives of five CFLers who were on their way back to Regina and Winnipeg from the all-star game that had been held in Vancouver. Of course, the copy the Sun used was from the Washington Post. . . . It’s enough to make an old newspaper guy cry. . . .

“I must have missed something,” venerable golf writer Dan Jenkins tweeted on Sunday. “Tiger beat two out of 17 players, but I kept reading that he was winning another major.” . . . Here’s Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, after the second round of this weekend’s golf tournament: “ESPN headline ‘Tiger Woods fires 2nd-round 65 at Hero World Challenge, nearly aces No. 12.’ So is anyone actually leading this tournament?” . . . A note from Hough that some of us appreciate: “Dear Santa: On behalf of all of those people who have such nice cars but couldn’t afford turn signals — could you help them out this Christmas?” . . . “Golden State Warriors head coach Steve Kerr said he tried marijuana twice for back pain in the last year and a half, but ‘it didn’t help at all,’ ” Hough reports. “Hmm! Maybe he should ask around the NBA for help getting better stuff.” . . .

Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif.-based correspondent, reports: “Indiana University fired men’s basketball coach Kevin Wilson for apparent player mistreatment. Imagine that — a coach at Indiana who mistreated players.” . . . Littlejohn, again: “The MLB All-Star Game no longer will determine home-field advantage in the World Series. Instead, it will go to the pennant winner with the best regular-season record. The choice reportedly left a descendant to Paul the Octopus very disappointed.” . . . One more from Littlejohn: “Twenty to 30 inches of snow has been forecast for parts of the Big Island of Hawaii. So I guess, in the wake of the Chicago Cubs winning it all, Hell has officially begun to freeze over.” . . . Littlejohn also reports that, according to PNC Wealth Management, the cost of The 12 Days of Christmas now is more than US$34,000, an increase of more than $200 over last year. There are only three Saturdays left, so you best get started. . . . 

“The world’s oldest person, an Italian woman, has turned 117,” notes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Even more impressive, she’s been alive for all three Cubs World Series championships!” . . . On Nov. 20, NFL kickers missed on 12 extra-point attempts, causing Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald to note: “The best kicking I saw all week took place on the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special.” . . . 

If you didn’t hear, Flemingsberge IK dumped Åker/Strängnäs HC, 5-0, in a hockey game in a Swedish U-18 league the other day. The teams combined for 871 penalty minutes — that’s right, 871. Thankfully, there only were 67 spectators in the house. . . . The 1-10 San Francisco 49ers met the host 2-9 Chicago Bears on Sunday. How bad was it? Well, neither team was able to complete a pass in the first quarter. According to ESPN Stats and Info, that hadn’t happened in the NFL since Nov. 13, 1988, when the New York Jets and New England appreciates accomplished (?) it. . . . The Bears eventually won, to go to 3-9, which still won’t get them into the playoffs. . . .

Headline at TheKicker.com: Wildlife handlers dispatched to tranquilize Jim Harbaugh. . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Chip Kelly starting to worry 49ers won’t fire him in time to take the Oregon job. . . . As my wife and I were sitting in our car on Friday, trying to make a right turn into traffic from a driveway with no one willing to slow down and let us in, she pointed out: “It’s December, the rudest month of the year because everyone is in a hurry.” . . . Slow down out there, folks. Take a deep breath and enjoy December.


(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.) 

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