After the NBA draft, someone asked Steve Martin about the Three Amigos-style suit worn by No. 1 pick Andrew Wiggins. Martin replied via Twitter: “You gotta have the hat.” . . . Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press with a quiz: “Why is Eastern Michigan putting in a gray football field? a) It wanted a neutral field. b) So it can bid to host the Grey Cup. c) You can easily touch it up with Just for Men.” . . . The other day, a Qantas flight from L.A. to Melbourne, Australia, turned back after a pipe burst, meaning there was water everywhere. “United would have kept going,” noted Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, “and charged a swimming-pool fee.” . . .
After LeBron James opted out of his contract with the NBA’s Miami Heat, Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen quipped: “Further details will be revealed on an upcoming TV special, The Revision.” . . . Forward Jason Spezza has said the pressure of playing in Ottawa didn’t have anything to do with his demanding a trade from the Senators. Rolfsen figures that “sounds legit. It's not like it’s ever affected the performance of our MPs.” . . . In case you missed it, the Winnipeg BlueGolds beat the Ottawa RedBlacks 36-28 in a Thursday night CFL game. . . .
Headline on the first sports page of the Daily Star after Luis Suarez apologized to Giorgio Chiellini: Finally . . . Luis Tells The Tooth. . . . After a recent World Cup game, Hough wrote: “With Nigerians focused on their game against Argentina, did that mean Americans were seeing a lot fewer opportunities to get rich in their email in-boxes?” . . . Here’s Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle: “If Ghana had knocked America out of the Cup for the third straight time, we would have had to invade 'em. Or at least send 300 advisers down there to slap 'em around.” . . .
One more from the aforementioned Ostler: “No reason was given for the sacking of (San Jose) Sharks broadcaster Drew Remenda, nor for the firing of (Golden State) Warriors' color man Jim Barnett (who was subsequently un-fired). Thus leading to speculation that their bosses felt the men were too critical. What many management/ownership types don't get: Fans want honesty from broadcasters, not sugar-coated bullsnort.” . . . Ostler, again: “Great scene, Michelle Wie wins the U.S. Women's Open and gets a Champagne shower on the 18th green from some of her competitors. At men's tourneys, for some reason, the TV producers never show us that part, when Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson run onto the green and squirt Champagne on Rory McIlroy or Bubba Watson.” . . . Ostler, finally: “Hey, Tiger. If you wash those shirts in cold water, they won't shrink like crazy.” . . .
After Wie won the U.S. Open, she got flowers from actor Adam Sandler. “I feel like that’s the biggest prize in golf,” she said, “getting flowers from Happy Gilmore.” . . . You may not be aware that the Coquihalla Highway, which runs through the heart of the B.C. Interior, has had its speed limit increased to 120 km-h in parts. I know, you thought the speed limit was whatever that guy screaming past you in the Mercedes wants it to be. . . . Can’t, or don’t, enforce the laws that are on the books? Make new ones. . . . Headline at theglobeandmail.com: Higher speed limits in B.C. could put more animals at risks, study warns. . . . “One sign the free-agent speculation surrounding NBA forward Carmelo Anthony has gotten out of hand?” suggests RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “I just heard he signed with the Vancouver Canucks.” . . .
The cast of the movie Field of Dreams is holding a 25-year reunion at the facility in Iowa. “In the modern-day version,” says comedy writer Jerry Perisho, “the little girl chokes on the hot dog and then hires an attorney who sues everyone present.” . . . No one enjoys Canada more than Bobby Bonilla and he’s not even Canadian. On July 1, for the fourth year in a row, the New York Mets paid the former major leaguer US$1,193,248.20. The Mets will make that annual payment through 2035 before his contract is paid out. . . .
“Authorities suspect alcohol was involved after Philadelphia Flyers captain Claude Giroux was arrested for repeatedly grabbing the buttocks of a male police officer in Ottawa,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Puck purists immediately derided it as the worst example of clutch-and-grab hockey.” . . . “In a statement released by the Flyers,” wrote Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post, “Giroux called the incident ‘a misguided attempt at humour’ – kind of like most of the things Ron MacLean says on Coach’s Corner.” . . . One more from Hamilton: “An unmanned aerial vehicle was spotted above Pittsburgh’s PNC Park during a game between the Pirates and New York Mets. In Toronto, the only drone at Rogers Centre is Buck Martinez.” . . .
A Tuesday tweet from Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register: “Tim Howard goaltends and gets worldwide congrats. Dwight Howard goaltends and gets ridiculed. He's right, everybody's against him.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Triumphant Jurgen Klinsmann rips critics: ‘I told you idiots we weren’t good enough.’ . . . Home-plate umpire Quinn Wolcott tossed Boston Red Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski from a recent game. What, wondered Anthony Castrovince of MLB.com, did Pierzynski say to warrant the ejection? Pierzynski replied: “Give me a new ball. One you can see.”
(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)
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