Sunday, July 27, 2014
Terry Siebert, a Toronto Maple Leafs fan of long-standing, died in Hamilton on Monday, and his obituary appeared in the Hamilton Spectator. The last line read: “It was Terry’s last wish that his pallbearers be the Toronto Maple Leafs so they could let him down one last time.” . . . Well, none of the Maple Leafs showed up, but the six pals who served as pallbearers all wore Maple Leafs jerseys. . . . The Regina Pats are the only team in the WHL without a head coach. Oh, they also need a couple of assistant coaches. Should we tell the new owners that training camp opens in about a month? . . .
“Germany’s World Cup trophy somehow got a piece chipped off during the title celebration,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Conspiracy theorists immediately claimed that Luis Suarez bit it.” . . . You have to love the eastern side of the CFL, where all four teams are tied for first place, each at 1-3. That would be the Toronto BlueWhites, the Hamilton GoldBlacks, the Montreal BlueRedWhites and, of course, the Ottawa RedBlacks. . . .
Headline at TheOnion.com: Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Retirement To Live Comfortably On Streets. . . . Why did the Los Angeles Kings win the Stanley Cup? Because, as head coach Darryl Sutter, says: “We had four centres no one can match up against.” Which explains why the Boston Bruins have signed Spencer Asuchak to a PTO and an invitation to rookie camp. Asuchak, who is from Kamloops and played last season with the Central league-champion Allen Americans, is 6-foot-5 and 230 pounds and can skate. . . . Don’t be surprised if Asuchak starts the season with the AHL’s Providence Bruins. . . .
Here’s Ron Judd in the Seattle Times: “The recent national kerfuffle over customer service, or lack thereof, by U.S. corporations — not to mention any names, such as COMCAST — is a blunt reminder of an indisputable fact: Corporate America has confused the art of talking about customer service with the practice of actually providing it.” . . . That’s hard to believe, isn’t it? . . . Here’s Judd, again using a skewer to point out something of an injustice: “Former U-Dub boss Mark Emmert, currently El Presidente of the cartel known as the NCAA, saw his pay soar to $1.7 million last year as he trotted around the country explaining why college football players should continue to be paid nothing.” . . . BTW, U-Dub would be U of Washington, not the U of Western Hockey League. . .
In the U.S., more than 1,000 golf courses have disappeared over the past eight years. As realtor Steve Ekovich told HBO: “There’s people that had this idea that build it and they will come. They didn’t come.” . . . The Calgary Stampeders visited the Edmonton Eskimos in CFL action on Thursday night and it seems the fans in attendance paid more attention to the 50-50 draw than they did to the game. Does that sound like the CFL, or what? . . . Connor Croken had the winning ticket and will pick up his cheque, for $348,534, on Tuesday. Croken now has more friends than any other 20-year-old in Edmonton. . . .
After centre Pau Gasol left the Los Angeles Lakers for Chicago, RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com put it this way: “He’ll just be another Spaniard running with the Bulls.” . . . Receiver Chad Johnson of the Montreal Alouettes was bemoaning the fact that he had received 15 parking tickets because he is unable to read French. Currie had a message for him: “Here’s a tip: A French fire hydrant looks just like an English one.” . . .
You may have heard that Fox Sports has bumped Pam Oliver off its No. 1 NFL crew, with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, and replaced her with Erin Andrews. Oliver reacted by saying that she felt blindsided. To which Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald wrote: “We have about 314 million Americans. I’m pretty sure the other 313,999,999 saw this one coming.” . . . With Byron Scott said to be pondering an offer to coach the NBA’s Lakers, Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register tweeted: “Byron Scott obviously trying to balance prestige of coaching the Lakers against the chore of coaching Nick Young.” . . . Nick Young? Perhaps you know him better as Swaggy P. . . . OK, maybe not. . . .
Somehow, Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice was handed only a two-game suspension for allegedly knocking unconscious the woman who now is his wife. “Maybe it’s for the best,” reasoned Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “If instead of fighting, the couple had just mellowed out with a joint, he’d have been suspended at least four games.” . . . DJ Gallo of SportsPickle.com writes that you are a professional golfer if “your only shots that roll on the ground the whole way are putts” and “your Buick is a source of income, not personal shame” and “none of your playing partners loudly belch in your backswing.” . . .
There now is a move afoot to take the 2018 World Cup away from Russia. Yeah, like FIFA is going to put itself in front of Vladimir Putin and do that. . . . The other day, Fark.com wondered “what if every NHL player went home like LeBron?” . . . Fark.com answered its own question with: “No American team would win the cup ever again.” . . . You know it was a slow weekend in sports when the biggest story in some places had to do with LeBron deciding what number he will wear with the Cleveland Cavaliers.
(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)
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