Sunday, July 19, 2015

Open season on Tiger . . . Studs own KIBT . . . Nuke Laloosh in the money





Some folks are having fun piling on Tiger Woods these days, not that he isn’t an inviting target. . . . Early in the week, someone asked Woods if he was having any thoughts about retirement. “I don't have an AARP card yet,” he replied, “so I'm a long ways from that.” AARP used to be the American Association of Retired Persons; now it’s just AARP. . . . Woods then went out and shot 76 to start The Open Championship. After which AARP tweeted at Woods: “It's better to be over 50 than it is to be over par.” . . . And then there are the folks who operate the Twitter account Fake ESPN. On Thursday, they tweeted: “World Golf Rankings: 1. Rory McIlroy 2. Jordan Spieth . . . 239. Charles Barkley 240. 4-year-old on windmill mini-golf hole 241. Tiger Woods.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Tiger Woods fires swing coach Charles Barkley. . . .

“You know this year's all-star game was the first without a starter from the Red Sox or Yankees since 1945,” writes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “That's almost the last year the U.S. presidential election didn't have a Clinton or a Bush on the ballot.” . . . Hough, again: “Not only did Mexican drug lord El Chapo escape, he did so via a lighted and ventilated tunnel, over a mile long, which he somehow had built while inside a maximum security prison. It’s a shame this guy is such a bad dude, Caltrans could use him to oversee some of its building projects.” . . . One more from Hough: “Donald Trump was bragging (Wednesday) that he is worth $10 billion. That must give such a warm fuzzy feeling to creditors of his four companies that have declared bankruptcy.” . . .

In case you missed it, and The Left Coast Sports Babe might have, the Seattle Studs won KIBT (the Kamloops International Baseball Tournament) for a fifth straight year last weekend. . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Officials: Escaped N.Y. prisoners were hoping to join Florida State football team. . . . One more from the gang at SportsPickle.com: Most Phillies not expected to return after escaping team over All-Star break. . . . After the U.S. signed a nuclear arms deal with Iran, Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel wanted to know: “Did we acquire any future draft picks or free up any cap space?” . . .

The American Homebrewers Association has named Pliny the Elder as the best beer in the U.S. To which RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com responded: “I thought Pliny the Elder was the latest signing by the San Antonio Spurs.” . . . Guard Ty Lawson of the Denver Nuggets has experienced a second DUI arrest in six months. As comedy writer Alan Ray puts it: “He led his team in double-doubles last season — mostly Jack and Cokes.” . . . Jordan Hill used to play with the Los Angeles Lakers; now he’s with the Indiana Pacers. How did he enjoy his time with the Lakers? “All you hear is Kobe’s mouth,” Hill says. . . . Hope he wasn’t surprised at that. . . .

Sorry, Bryce Harper, but Mike Trout is the best player in MLB right now. Here’s Detroit Tigers pitcher David Price, to ESPN, after Tuesday’s All-Star Game: “I just sit there and laugh when he goes out there and does what he does. I'll shoot him a text. And I'll be like, 'Hey, you do know that this is the highest league? There's not a higher league, in case you're bored right now.' But he has to keep playing with us, keep playing with us common guys.” . . . Amanda Belichick is the new women’s lacrosse coach with the Holy Cross Crusaders. The College of the Holy Cross is located in Worcester, 46 miles northwest of Foxboro, Mass., which is where her father, Bill, has his office. . . .

A query from Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen: “Did they ever find a cure for Saturday Night Fever?” . . . “Among this year’s canceled NFL promotions,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times, “is the New York Giants’ Jason Pierre-Paul/‘We’re No. 1’ Foam Finger Night.” . . . We close this week with a note from Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent: “A horse named Nuke Laloosh finished in the money at a race at Los Alamitos recently. He reportedly celebrated with a mare named Annie.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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