Sunday, April 26, 2015

Brooks vs. Mayweather? . . . Tebow on drums? . . . Spring football popular





“I've reached a big decision,” tweets actor/comedian Albert Brooks. “I will let Floyd Mayweather beat the (bleep) out of me for $300 million.” . . . “Stephen Harper was at the Winnipeg Jets game Wednesday night,” notes Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen. “The Jets were eliminated from the NHL playoffs and now are owned by Saudi Arabia.” . . . Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong also noted that Harper was at that game. “Apparently the tickets were an anonymous gift,” Chong reported, “and the receipt for them had been previously reimbursed to a Mike Duffy.” . . . A Friday tweet from Montreal journalist Jack Todd: “Peter Chiarelli is going to a really bad team. But he's smiling because Cam Neely is no longer sitting on his head.” . . .

Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent, had a great week so he gets his own paragraph. . . .“The best and most consistent starter for the defending World Champion San Francisco Giants is not named Peavy or Lincecum, or even Bumgarner — but is named Heston. Fans are wondering: (1) How could this happen; and (2) What are his views on gun control?” . . . “There is joy and merriment at the North Pole — with the Philadelphia Eagles’ signing of quarterback Tim Tebow, Santa Claus knows he won't be alone in being booed in Philly at Christmas.” . . . “An Eagles exec says that Tebow has improved since his stint with the New England Patriots. That's like saying that Eddie the Eagle has improved since the '88 Olympics.” . . . “The Eagles have worked their home schedule around the Pope's visit — but many of their fans plan to show up and boo him anyway.” . . .

Former NFL kicker Jay Feely appeared on Jim Rome on Showtime the other day. Asked about Tebow, Feely said he respects him as a man but said the quarterback was “the single-worst quarterback I ever saw in my career in the NFL.” . . . Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post noted: “It sounds like Jay is a very touchy Feely person.” . . . French swimmer Amaury Leveaux won gold at the 2012 London Olympics and now has written a book. In it, he claims that cocaine use was prevalent among French swimmers. "Some of us wouldn't spit at a little line of coke from time to time,” he wrote. “For others it's not just a little line, it's a complete motorway covered in white powder which they zoom down at top speed." . . . Hamilton reports that “French officials plan to investigate toot de suite.” . . .

Jimmy Fallon of NBC-TV admits to being shocked when he heard about Tebow signing with the Eagles. Fallon explained: “It is pretty shocking, mainly because I didn’t even know he played an instrument.” . . . In 2013, Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen purchased a 3,310-square-foot apartment in New York City. They paid US$14 million for the 47th-floor unit. You could have rented it — $45,000 per month furnished, or $42,500 unfurnished — but someone beat you to it. . . . Tom and Gisele can use the pocket change. . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Report: New NFL stadium in Los Angeles could create thousands of local law-enforcement jobs. . . . After Houston Rockets centre Dwight Howard said his home contains 50 guns and 20 snakes, Fark.com pointed out: “Or as that’s called in the Texas homebuilding market, standard features.” . . .

“The Apple Watch, scheduled to be in stores April 24, now won’t be there until June,” reports Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “Isn’t the first function of a watch to be on time?” . . . One more from Hough: “San Francisco 49ers right guard Alex Boone apparently told HBO’s Real Sports about former head coach Jim Harbaugh: ‘This guy might be clinically insane.’ Just wondering what percentage of NFL coaches Boone thinks aren’t?” . . . The national-champion Ohio State Buckeyes played their annual spring game last Saturday and 99,391 fans showed up. That is a record for a spring game. The Buckeyes had drawn 95,722 in 2009. In Alabama, the Crimson Tide had 65,157 at its spring game this year, while Nebraska drew 76,881 and Michigan 66,000. . . . Yes, football is king. . . .

“A mom in Michigan discovered marijuana inside a pair of jeans she bought at Target for her nine-year-old son,” reports Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “This is the first kid ever happy with the clothes his mom picked out.” . . . “The NBA playoffs are underway,” notes Dickson. “This is the annual sports postseason that takes slightly longer than it did to build the average Egyptian pyramid.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: LeBron’s 10-year-old son drops 40 points on Celtics on ‘Take Your Kids to Work Day.’

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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