If you’re a baseball fan, you will know that Jayson Werth of the Washington Nationals is a starter on the hair/beard all-star team. He’s about to join the all-bobblehead team, too. The Nationals have scheduled Jayson Werth Chia Night for Aug. 5. They’ll hand out 20,000 bobbleheads, each capable of growing a Chia beard. . . . When the Edmonton Eskimos and Toronto Argos opened their CFL seasons on Saturday in Fort McMurray, Alta., attendance was just under 5,000. It was an Argos’ home game and the top-priced ticket was $99. . . . Conflicts with the Pan Am Games and the World Cup of women’s soccer left the Argos without a place to play in Toronto. . . .
“No need to say ‘Break a leg!’ to these thespians,” notes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Tonya & Nancy: The Rock Opera — based on the Harding-Kerrigan figure-skating knee whack in 1994 — makes its Big Apple debut at the New York Musical Theatre Festival in July.” . . . “Well, one thing that can be said about Tonya & Nancy: The Rock Opera,” writes Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif.-based correspondent, “is that the opera isn't over until the fat laddie swings.” . . . “Seattle Seahawks running back and Oakland native Marshawn Lynch rode on a float in the Golden State Warriors' victory parade,” notes Littlejohn. “He reportedly wanted the driver to stay in the No Passing Zone.” . . . Littlejohn has seen a report that indicates “there are 40 quarterbacks in the NFL who will make more than Russell Wilson this season.” Littlejohn adds: “Not only that, but five quarterbacks in the SEC will, as well.” . . .
When Edgar Martinez replaced Howard Johnson as Seattle’s hitting coach, the Mariners were last in MLB in batting average and 28th in runs and OBP. “Here’s hoping,” wrote the aforementioned Perry, “Martinez knows a good recipe for chicken salad.” . . . “Lambeau Field security officers ejected nearly 300 people for fighting, harassment and extreme intoxication during a recent Kenny Chesney concert,” Perry reports. “Or as the locals now call it, Packer fans’ offseason minicamp.” . . .
Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong, with a valid point: “With the winning team getting home-field advantage in the World Series, wouldn’t it be wiser for Kansas City fans to vote in the entire Phillies team instead?” . . . “If pitchers have Tommy John surgery,” asks Chong, “does Pete Rose get Pinocchio surgery?” . . . Here’s Fark.com with a suggestion on how to update the board game Clue: “Professor Diddy in the weight room — with a kettle bell.” . . . Headline in the Las Vegas Review-Journal: “Diddy or didn’t he?” . . .
With the Kansas City Royals dominating MLB’s all-star voting, Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald reported: “Six members of the Kansas City Royals are now leading the U.S. presidential race.” . . . StubHub is suing Ticketmaster and, as Dickson notes, “Seats in the lower bowl of the courtroom are selling for $79.95.” . . . One more from Dickson: “The 2015 College World Series is over. Great, now where am I going to find a T-shirt in Omaha for 30 bucks?” . . . Social note: Geri Halliwell, the former Spice Girl, has married Christian Horner, who runs the Red Bull Formula 1 racing team. . . . Spice Girls? Better try Google. . . .
A bang-on Tuesday night tweet from Steve Buffery of the Toronto Sun: “When you watch the solemn coverage of #DeflateGate you realize how ridiculous sports is sometimes.” . . . Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen wants to know: ““When did NBA draft candidates all start dressing like movie ushers?” . . . Frank Kaminsky, a centre, went back to the U of Wisconsin for his senior season a year ago, saying: “At the Kohl Center, we play in front of nearly 17,000 fans every single time. . . . I know the NBA has their crazy fans and all, but . . . there are games when teams like the Bobcats get hardly any fans, and it looks flat-out boring.” . . . You guessed it! Kaminsky got drafted by Charlotte on Thursday night. . . . And then there is forward Larry Nance Jr., who played at Wyoming. Three years ago he tweeted: “Gee I sure hope Kobe can keep his hands to himself in Denver this time. #rapist.” . . . Kobe, meet one of your new teammates. . . .
A New York City-bound Amtrak train was stranded for about five hours without food, air-conditioning or working bathrooms. That had Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, to wonder: “Are they really trying to compete with the airlines?” . . . With receiver Dez Bryant threatening to hold out on the Dallas Cowboys despite being contracted for US$12.8 million this season, Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot notes that he is “violating the first rule of rich people — no whining on the yacht.” . . .
When Alex Rodriguez got his 3,000th hit the other day, the New York Daily News headlined the story thusly: Mr. 3,***. . . . “If I'm a free agent,” tweets Peter Vecsey, “I want to play wherever LeBron James is coaching.” . . . At one point this month, Detroit Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrera was hitting .647 with five home runs and 15 RBI in nine games against the Cleveland Indians. That resulted in reader David S. writing the Cleveland Plain Dealer to ask: “Did Albert Einstein get his definition of insanity by watching the Indians pitch to Miguel Cabrera?”
(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)
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