Going squirrelly in Green Bay . . . Vikes are who we thought they were . . . Epstein dines on goat

Here is Ray Ratto of CSN Bay Area, after the U.S. election: “How this chapter in American history turns out is anyone’s guess, depending on the cheeriness of one’s outlook. Perhaps there is a Trump we haven’t seen yet, one who can work the milieu of anger as fuel, one who can actually grow from the man whose catch phrase meant unemployment. Nobody believes that now, though, and whether the lesson is how far we have fallen as a nation, how uncivil we have become in our daily discourse, or whether we have lost the right to buy into our own loftier impression of ourselves, we are now naked and raw as a nation, stripped of the layers of our illusions, and a nasty winter is coming on.” . . . 

You may have noticed that the NHL scheduled the first head-to-head meeting between Connor McDavid and Sidney Crosby for last Tuesday, which was election night in the U.S. “What?” stated Torben Rolfsen, who hosts The Rolfsen Report on TSN 1040 Vancouver on Saturday mornings. “The Super Bowl time slot wasn’t available.” . . . One more from Rolfsen: “Gary Bettman must be thrilled that the faces of the NHL for the next 10-15 years are in Toronto, Edmonton and Winnipeg.” . . . Rolfsen watched an NFL game the other night and noted: “There was a squirrel on the loose at Lambeau Field during Colts-Packers. It was gathering cheese and beer for the winter.” . . .

While dining out on Wednesday night, I happened to glance at a TV set and noticed that there were anti-Trump protests going on in at least seven American cities. My first thought: It’s too late America; you should have thought about that before Tuesday. . . . Here’s Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot with a pre-election note: “My polling place is at the Norfolk Zoo. Considering this election year, that seems fitting to me.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Vikes honor Dennis Green by being who we thought they were. . . . “Not saying the Minnesota Vikings field-goal kicker is cursed,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, “but he’s just a hand-held camera away from the Blair Walsh Project.” . . . Currie, again: “For years my vegetable of choice was broccoli. Then I heard John Lennon on the radio and decided to give peas a chance.” . . .

The NFL is concerned with tumbling TV ratings so it gives us the Cleveland Browns on a Thursday night. Now that’s funny. . . . Here’s Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong on the NFL’s concern: “Really? Hey, let’s put Cleveland-Baltimore on national TV this week, and get more of those 7:30 a.m. games from London, England.” . . . ICYMI, tight end Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs picked up 30 yards in penalties and an ejection after taking a hand towel from his waistband and throwing it in the direction of an on-field official. So what did Kelce learn from the incident? “I can’t throw my flag at the ref, but he can throw his all day long.” . . . 

The Nebraska Cornhuskers had Wisconsin and Ohio State in back-to-back games recently. As Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald noted: “The last time someone had a road test this stiff, it was Lewis and Clark.” . . . Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent with a note from the U.S. election: “After holding a lead in all of the major polls heading into the election, Hillary Clinton lost to Donald Trump in one of the most shocking of upsets. And you thought the Giants' bullpen collapsed against the Cubs.” . .

Jack Finarelli, aka The Sports Curmudgeon, had some fun with words the other day. For example, he came up with Kaepernicking and defined it thusly: “In honor of Colin Kaepernick, this word could come to mean drawing attention to oneself when one’s performance is insufficient to do so.” . . . That got Finarelli to wondering: “If Tiger Woods were to withdraw from the Hero World Challenge – as he did from the last tournament he said he would play in – how close would that bring him to ‘Kaepernicking?’ ” . . . Tuned into the Thursday night NHL game between the Vancouver Canucks and the host Detroit Red Wings. Was blown away by — wait for it! — the number of empty seats in the Joe. I guess Detroit no longer is Hockeytown USA. . . . 

Headline at Fark.com: Bud Black named as the next manager the Colorado Rockies will fire. . . . “Chicago Cubs president Theo Epstein celebrated winning the World Series and ending the so-called billy goat curse by feasting on roasted goat in the Wrigley Field bleachers,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “So what did Epstein chow down on in 2004 when his Boston Red Sox finally ended the Curse of the Bambino — a Baby Ruth?” . . . Perry pondering: “Alabama football coach Nick Saban astounded the country when he said: a) He was completely unaware that Tuesday was election day; b) He thought Electoral College was the Tide’s season-opening opponent next fall.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

---

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Heard the news? Matthews scored four . . . WCL still interested in Kamloops . . . Roberts quite a walker

So . . . if you hadn’t heard, centre Auston Matthews scored four goals in his first game with the Toronto Maple Leafs on Wednesday night. . . . I wonder what it might have been like had Wayne Gretzky played during the social media era. . . . With no baseball games on Wednesday, I watched both ends of Sportsnet’s NHL season-opening doubleheader. There was some wide-open hockey in evidence in both games, and you can bet that the coaches will work hard to choke that out of the game. . . . In all seriousness, it is going to be fun watching Matthews and Connor McDavid of the Edmonton Oilers progress over the next few seasons. . . .

Here’s comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after the Miami Marlins canned hitting coach Barry Bonds: “It did not go well. Bonds got angry, turned green and ripped through his shirt and most of his pants.” . . . “Stephen Hawking said humankind is greedy and stupid,” writes Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “Apparently, he has a Twitter account.” . . . Dickson, again: “An amateur cyclist out for a leisurely weekend ride suddenly found himself in the lead of the Tour of Britain. Officials didn’t realize he wasn’t an actual world-class cyclist until after the race when he passed a drug test.” . . . 

Death, taxes .... and Harold Reynolds trending on Twitter when calling a postseason game.

— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) October 14, 2016

If you missed it, former major leaguer Harold Reynolds was back as part of the Fox TV crew that did the National League series between the Los Angeles Dodgers and Washington Nationals. If only he wouldn’t feel obligated to talk between every pitch, especially because he was part of a three-man booth. . . . If you listened closely, there were times when it sounds as though Tom Verducci, the third man in the booth, wanted to throw a high, hard one in Reynolds’ direction. . . . If you think you’re alone in not liking Reynolds’ work, do a Twitter search. . . . Not to beat a dead horse, but after Washington’s Ryan Zimmerman swung at a Joe Blanton slider in Game 5 on Thursday, Reynolds offered: “That was what he was looking for and it looked like it was gonna be where he wanted it. It just didn’t end up where he thought it would be.” . . . In the top of the ninth inning, with the Dodgers leading 4-3, Reynolds told us: “This is a big half inning.” . . . Uhh, no kidding. . . . 

A recent rant from Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot: “With penalties for taunting up 220 percent compared to the first four weeks of last season, the NFL is taking steps to clarify the rules of deportment for the benefit of the obstreperous players. So this is how far we’ve sunk. There was a time when the primary rule governing on-field conduct was an obvious and unwritten one: don’t act like a jackass. Those days are long gone.” . . . Baseball’s West Coast League, a short-season league that is loaded with U.S. college players, is holding its annual meeting in Vancouver, Wash., today and Monday. Expansion to Kamloops isn’t on the agenda, but there are those in the league who would like to see a franchise here in 2018. Abbotsford and Nanaimo also are on the WCL’s radar. . . . The WCL will have one new franchise — the Port Angeles Lefties — in 2017. . . . The Victoria HarbourCats have led the WCL in attendance each of the past two seasons. . . .

The Los Angeles Dodgers set an MLB record in the 2016 regular season by making 606 pitching changes. That smashed the record (588) that had been held by the 2007 Washington Nationals. At one point in the NLDS between the Dodgers and Nationals, TBS analyst Tom Verducci mentioned that Los Angeles manager Dave Roberts had walked 21.7 miles in making those changes. . . . Sorry Cubs fans, but it would be neat if the Dodgers would win the World Series. Why? Because Vin Scully would get a ring and that would be the perfect punctuation mark for the end of his broadcasting career. . . . “On Sunday, in a game that overlapped Presidential Debate No. 2, the Toronto Blue Jays finished off a sweep of the Texas Rangers,” writes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “So how unfair is this . . . Canada beats the U.S. at our own national pastime.  And they have Justin Trudeau?” . . .

Randall Cobb of the Green Bay Packers took quite a lick during a game against the New York Giants last weekend. As he told NBCsports.com: “Got folded up like a lawn chair . . . Then I turned over and, like, I had 15 faces in front of me. So I thought I had died or something.” . . . Hey, Sportsnet. Those ‘This Is Hockey Night’ commercials were OK the first 100 times. They’re kind of old after about 1,000 viewings. . . . As for that Royale commercial with the little girl, well, it’s borderline creepy. . . . Especially when it shows up as often as it does. . . . ICYMI, Paddy Sharkey, an Englishman, won the world gravy wrestling championship. “I imagine,” writes R.J. Currie of SportsDeke.com, “when  fighting in gravy you have to take your lumps.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.) 

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Werth bobblehead will grow beard . . . Diddy or didn't he? . . . Spice Girl gets married

If you’re a baseball fan, you will know that Jayson Werth of the Washington Nationals is a starter on the hair/beard all-star team. He’s about to join the all-bobblehead team, too. The Nationals have scheduled Jayson Werth Chia Night for Aug. 5. They’ll hand out 20,000 bobbleheads, each capable of growing a Chia beard. . . . When the Edmonton Eskimos and Toronto Argos opened their CFL seasons on Saturday in Fort McMurray, Alta., attendance was just under 5,000. It was an Argos’ home game and the top-priced ticket was $99. . . . Conflicts with the Pan Am Games and the World Cup of women’s soccer left the Argos without a place to play in Toronto. . . .

“No need to say ‘Break a leg!’ to these thespians,” notes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Tonya & Nancy: The Rock Opera — based on the Harding-Kerrigan figure-skating knee whack in 1994 — makes its Big Apple debut at the New York Musical Theatre Festival in July.” . . . “Well, one thing that can be said about Tonya & Nancy: The Rock Opera,” writes Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif.-based correspondent, “is that the opera isn't over until the fat laddie swings.” . . . “Seattle Seahawks running back and Oakland native Marshawn Lynch rode on a float in the Golden State Warriors' victory parade,” notes Littlejohn. “He reportedly wanted the driver to stay in the No Passing Zone.” . . . Littlejohn has seen a report that indicates “there are 40 quarterbacks in the NFL who will make more than Russell Wilson this season.” Littlejohn adds: “Not only that, but five quarterbacks in the SEC will, as well.” . . .

When Edgar Martinez replaced Howard Johnson as Seattle’s hitting coach, the Mariners were last in MLB in batting average and 28th in runs and OBP. “Here’s hoping,” wrote the aforementioned Perry, “Martinez knows a good recipe for chicken salad.” . . . “Lambeau Field security officers ejected nearly 300 people for fighting, harassment and extreme intoxication during a recent Kenny Chesney concert,” Perry reports. “Or as the locals now call it, Packer fans’ offseason minicamp.” . . .

Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong, with a valid point: “With the winning team getting home-field advantage in the World Series, wouldn’t it be wiser for Kansas City fans to vote in the entire Phillies team instead?” . . . “If pitchers have Tommy John surgery,” asks Chong, “does Pete Rose get Pinocchio surgery?” . . . Here’s Fark.com with a suggestion on how to update the board game Clue: “Professor Diddy in the weight room — with a kettle bell.” . . . Headline in the Las Vegas Review-Journal: “Diddy or didn’t he?” . . .

With the Kansas City Royals dominating MLB’s all-star voting, Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald reported: “Six members of the Kansas City Royals are now leading the U.S. presidential race.” . . . StubHub is suing Ticketmaster and, as Dickson notes, “Seats in the lower bowl of the courtroom are selling for $79.95.” . . . One more from Dickson: “The 2015 College World Series is over. Great, now where am I going to find a T-shirt in Omaha for 30 bucks?” . . . Social note: Geri Halliwell, the former Spice Girl, has married Christian Horner, who runs the Red Bull Formula 1 racing team. . . . Spice Girls? Better try Google. . . .

A bang-on Tuesday night tweet from Steve Buffery of the Toronto Sun: “When you watch the solemn coverage of #DeflateGate you realize how ridiculous sports is sometimes.” . . . Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen wants to know: ““When did NBA draft candidates all start dressing like movie ushers?” . . . Frank Kaminsky, a centre, went back to the U of Wisconsin for his senior season a year ago, saying: “At the Kohl Center, we play in front of nearly 17,000 fans every single time. . . . I know the NBA has their crazy fans and all, but . . . there are games when teams like the Bobcats get hardly any fans, and it looks flat-out boring.” . . . You guessed it! Kaminsky got drafted by Charlotte on Thursday night. . . . And then there is forward Larry Nance Jr., who played at Wyoming. Three years ago he tweeted: “Gee I sure hope Kobe can keep his hands to himself in Denver this time. #rapist.” . . . Kobe, meet one of your new teammates. . . .

A New York City-bound Amtrak train was stranded for about five hours without food, air-conditioning or working bathrooms. That had Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, to wonder: “Are they really trying to compete with the airlines?” . . . With receiver Dez Bryant threatening to hold out on the Dallas Cowboys despite being contracted for US$12.8 million this season, Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot notes that he is “violating the first rule of rich people — no whining on the yacht.” . . .

When Alex Rodriguez got his 3,000th hit the other day, the New York Daily News headlined the story thusly: Mr. 3,***. . . . “If I'm a free agent,” tweets Peter Vecsey, “I want to play wherever LeBron James is coaching.” . . . At one point this month, Detroit Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrera was hitting .647 with five home runs and 15 RBI in nine games against the Cleveland Indians. That resulted in reader David S. writing the Cleveland Plain Dealer to ask: “Did Albert Einstein get his definition of insanity by watching the Indians pitch to Miguel Cabrera?”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Coyotes in HGTV show? . . . Bacon gets wurst of sausage fight . . . Verlander vs. Salamander?

Victor Espinoza, who rode American Pharoah to the Triple Crown last Saturday, threw out the first pitch at Yankee Stadium the next day. The Yankees then signed him to pitch in short relief. . . . Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post, on why Espinoza looked like a natural on that pitch: “He’s got a good WHIP.” . . . Reader Jim Corrigan wrote to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, asking: “Who will have more wins this year, American Pharoah or the Browns?” . . . After hearing reports that American Pharoah’s stud fee could be as high as US$175,000, former Washington Times sports columnist Dan Daly wrote: “For that kind of money, they should rename him American Gigolo.” . . .

“Sesame Street was a tough hood,” points out Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen. “One guy lived in a garbage can.” . . . Rolfsen, again: “HGTV has signed the Arizona Coyotes to appear in an episode of next season's House Hunters.” . . . One more from Rolfsen: “In golf's world rankings, Tiger Woods has fallen below Carl Spackler.” . . . In Major League Baseball’s recent first-year player draft, the Pittsburgh Pirates took shortstops Kevin Newman of Arizona and Kevin Kramer of UCLA with their first selections. Todd Dewey of the Las Vegas Review-Journal noted: “Pirates draft Newman, Kramer, but no Costanza.” . . .

“Alabama-Birmingham reinstated its football program for play in 2016 — just six months after announcing it was scrapping it,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “If anyone has any sense of fortuitous timing, the season opener’s very first play call will be a reverse.” . . . “Two guys got into a fight over sausage in Madison, N.J.,” reports Perry, “but that wasn’t the wurst of it. Police arrested the one named Thomas Bacon.” . . . “Dumb-de-dumb-dumb,” Perry writes. “Police in Orange County, Fla. — once surveillance video was broadcast on local television — were deluged with tips identifying the guy wearing the Rockstar shirt who robbed a 7-Eleven at gunpoint. That would be Kyle Evans, a member of the Rockstar Energy Drink Professional Wakeboarding Team.” . . .

Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald reports that “the town of Snyder, Nebraska (population 300), is holding its 125th anniversary this weekend. About 15,000 people are expected, which could be problematic since Snyder has enough restaurant and hotel space to accommodate six.” . . . Headline at fark.com: Alex Rodriguez* passes Barry Bonds* for 2nd place on the MLB all-time RBI list. . . . Bob Molinaro, of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot: “I suppose this item could wait, but the World Series doesn’t begin until Oct. 27, with a possible Game 7 set for Nov. 7. Baseball’s disregard for the calendar makes me wish a game or two would be snowed out.” . . .

“Hard to believe, yet true,” points out Greg Cote of The Miami Herald. “This is the first NBA Finals since 1998 that does not include Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade or Tim Duncan.” . . . Is LeBron James the greatest NBAer of all-time? Syndicated columnist Norman Chad, for one, isn’t impressed by James’s two championships. As Chad points out: “Heck, George W. Bush won two presidential elections, and Werner Klemperer — Col. Klink! — won two Emmys. How tough is two?” . . .

“According to a headline in the East Oregonian newspaper, Oakland A's switch-pitcher Pat Vinditte is amphibious,” notes Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent. “Sometimes you just have to grin and Berra it.” . . . “Does this mean,” Littlejohn wonders, “that when Vinditte faces Detroit, they will print 'Verlander vs. the Salamander’?” . . . “The Japanese team won the World Custard Pie Throwing championship,” Littlejohn reports. “Two members were graduates of the Soupy Sales Academy.” . . . “A Brazilian man crooned and strummed his guitar while undergoing brain surgery,” Littlejohn writes. “Seven NFL team doctors pronounced him fit to go back into the game.” . . .

“Four tourists, including a brother and sister from Canada, were arrested for stripping naked on a Malaysian mountain,” observes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “Locals say they angered the tribal spirits and caused a recent deadly earthquake, Wow! How often do you hear ‘Ah, those ugly Canadians?’ ” . . . With the Chicago Blackhawks one victory away from a Stanley Cup championship, Mark Whicker of the Los Angeles News Group tweeted: “Maybe the Blackhawks will someday get a goalie but right now they have to live with the guy who has given up 10 goals in five games.” . . . That would be the oft-criticized Corey Crawford, of course. . . .

“Glendale cancels signed arena lease with Coyotes hockey franchise. Is it too late to do that with Mariners and Safeco Field?” wonders Ron Judd of the Seattle Times, via Twitter. . . . “Not a good week for U.S. women’s soccer goalie Hope Solo,” Judd writes, “hit with the details of her arrogant, boorish, embarrassing behavior after being arrested in a domestic-violence incident last year. On the plus side, the release of all the juicy details about her alleged fisticuffs moved her way up the depth chart for the Seahawks’ 2016 draft.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)


There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

FIFA this, FIFA that . . . You will want to try a Frankenslice . . . NBA fun begins Thursday

As you will know by now, Sepp Blatter was re-elected as president of FIFA on Friday, despite the seeming implosion of the organization earlier in the week. . . . “Say,” wondered Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post, “wasn’t Sepp one of the original Three Stooges?” . . . More from Hamilton: “Seven of the people arrested in Zurich, Switzerland were picked up at the five-star Baur au Lac hotel. They’re now staying at the no-star Crowbaur Hotel.” . . . The FIFA scandal involves officials being charged with accepting bribes to the tune of more than US$150 million. As comedy writer Jerry Perisho pointed out: “Do you know how hard it is to take $150 million in bribes without using your hands?” . . .

“This FIFA scandal has gained some interest in Canada,” reports Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong. “Mike Duffy wants to know how he can get on the board of directors.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: FIFA fires executive who failed to bribe U.S. and Swiss officials. . . . “Officials at soccer's governing body, FIFA, are allegedly involved in a $150-million bribery scandal,” writes Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “Or, as members of the U.S. Congress call that, ‘October.’ ” . . .

“Atlanta Hawks radio play-by-play man Steve Holman made his feelings known about Cleveland Cavaliers guard Matthew Dellavedova on Tuesday,” reports the afore-mentioned Hamilton. “During the Eastern Conference final between the teams, Dellavedova’s frequent dives into the legs of Atlanta players resulted in an injury to one (Kyle Korver) and the ejection of another (Al Horford, who threw an elbow at Dellavedova’s head). So, as Dellavedova arrived at the scorer’s table in Game 4, Holman told his listeners: ‘Tonya Harding checking in.’ ” . . . Trust a minor-league baseball team, in this case the Fresno Grizzlies, to come up with the Frankenslice — one slice of pizza with hot dogs baked into the crust. One will set you back $7. As Fark.com put it: “Any fan who can eat a whole pie gets to be carted off on the seventh-inning stretcher.” . . .

Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen: “Draft lottery 1960s: fake injury to avoid Vietnam. Draft lottery 2010s: fake injury to avoid Knicks.” . . . You may not have been aware that New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, he of Deflategate, and baseball home run king Barry Bonds both attended the same high school in San Mateo, Calif. Here’s Dickson: “I believe the school’s known as The Fighting Asterisks.” . . . A mid-week tweet from Michael Farber of Sports Illustrated: “The hockey word for 2015, ripped off from basketball, is ‘looks,’ as in ‘getting good looks.’ Calling your team a ‘group?’ That is so 2013.” . . .

The NBA is going to have Steph Curry versus LeBron James in its championship final. Yes, the association is all smiles. . . . The fun begins on Thursday. . . . “Steph Curry of the Golden State Warriors passed Reggie Miller for most 3-pointers in one NBA postseason the other night,” notes Bill Littlejohn, our California correspondent who is based in South Lake Tahoe, “but it should come with an asterisk. After all, Curry didn’t do it with Spike Lee hanging all over him.” . . . “Former wide receiver Joe Horn has called NFL commissioner Roger Goodell 'the devil,’ ” Littlejohn writes. “Goodell denied this, saying that he's never even met Charlie Daniels.” . . . Littlejohn also reports: “A newlywed couple in Massachusetts says they won’t go on their honeymoon until Tom Brady's four-game suspension is lifted. Goodell and the NFL reportedly sent them a list of Boston area seminaries.”

“The minor-league Port Charlotte, Fla., Stone Crabs canceled their A-Rod Juice Box Night after the Yankees complained that lampooning PED-inflated slugger Alex Rodriguez was in poor taste,” notes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “There goes any hope for hosting Tom Brady Ball-Needle Night.” . . . “In tennis news,” Perry reports, “Portugal’s Joao Sousa defeated Brazil’s Joao Souza 7-5, 6-3 at the Geneva Open. So where will they stage the rematch — in Walla Walla, Wash.?” . . . One more from Perry: “Jack Nicklaus donated the 3-wood he used to win all 18 of his major golf titles to the USGA Museum. No word on whether Elin Nordegren plans to hand over her 9-iron.” . . .

“Thanks, or no thanks, to technological advances,” writes Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot, “MLB can gauge the height of a home run ball at its apex. Miami’s Giancarlo Stanton, for instance, hit a homer the other night that crested at 143 feet, the fifth-highest by anyone this season. Another relatively new measurement is the speed at which a ball leaves the bat. Do these revelations actually enhance our enjoyment of the game . . . or just serve as a reminder that some people sitting behind computers have too much time on their hands?”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Golfers living in gatored community? . . . Hot dog stuffed into a donut?

Someone at the Brisbane, Australia, Courier-Mail asked former heavyweight boxer Joe Bugner, who is 65, what it was like to punch Muhammad Ali in the face. Bugner replied: “Very difficult.” . . . “A picture of a massive alligator taken by a member of Florida’s Myakka Pines Golf Course has gone viral,” reports Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong. “The club’s Facebook page has generated thousands of hits a day. The club invites visitors to play the course but reminds you that its 400 399 members have priority for times.” . . . “Sounds like the exclusive club is located in a gatored community,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. . . .

Here’s a minor league baseball culinary report from Hamilton: “The Wilmington BlueRocks are selling a hot dog (covered in bacon and raspberry jam) stuffed into a Krispy Kreme donut at concession stands this season. Meanwhile, the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers are offering a bacon cheeseburger served between two funnel cakes. Those coronary-inducing offerings could leave patrons dead at the plate.” . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Every single NFL player traded, retired, signed, cut, re-signed over past 24 hours. . . .

“Edward Snowden’s lawyer says the NSA secrets-leaker would consider a return to the U.S. if he could be assured of getting a fair trial,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Or, failing that, a live one-hour sit-down with ESPN’s Jim Gray.” . . . How big is March Madness in the U.S.? Perry informs us that, according to the American Gambling Association, “some 40 million citizens will fill out more than 70 million brackets and wager $9 billion on the upcoming NCAA basketball tournament.” . . . “For comparison’s sake,” Perry adds, “Barack Obama was the No. 1 seed on just 66 million ballots in the 2012 presidential election.” . . .

“When police pulled over a vehicle near Prince Albert, 17 people were found in the truck,” notes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. “My first thought was they were auditioning for the Shrine Circus.” . . . “A San Francisco man claims he is the biological son of Wilt Chamberlain,” reports Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen. “Experts put the chances at about 1 in 20,000.” . . . Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg has made the case that “2015 has started off as a wild year. Two llamas escape, nobody can agree on the colors of a dress, and Harrison Ford has hit more fairways than Tiger Woods.” . . .


“Murray State pitcher John Lollar has an insane high leg kick,” reports contributor Bill Littlejohn. “Scouts call him half-Juan Marichal, half-Inspector Gadget.” . . . One more from Littlejohn: “Researchers from the Université Libre de Bruxelles found that the much-maligned cockroach has its own personality and even displays different character traits.I hear that one even scored a 22 on the Wonderlic test.” . . . Littlejohn, again: “Vlade Divac wants to be the NBA's new flopping czar.Wouldn't that be like putting Lance Armstrong in charge of drug testing at the Tour de France?” . . .

“If Will Ferrell wants to reach an audience larger than the army of hangers-on and star-droolers that surrounded him Thursday in Arizona,” writes Ray Ratto of CSNbayarea.com, “he should seriously crash the NFL Draft and save it from its ponderous, self-important, over-analyzed, leaden, grisly awfulness.” . . . RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com has “a work-saving tip for MLB groundskeepers. Add alcohol to your spring fertilizer — the grass will come up half-cut.” . . .

Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe: “Woman on a bench outside our office, talking loudly on an iPhone speaker about her business deals. So tempting to ask her to speak up a bit so we can take notes.” . . . Here’s Hough, again: “South Dakota may join Idaho, Texas, Utah and Wyoming as states with 80 mph speed limits. Interesting enough, they’re all states you might want to drive like a bat out of hell to get out of.” . . .

“As we wade into March Madness,” writes Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian Pilot, “the blather from ESPN's talking heads would be a little more credible if every sideline drill sergeant wasn't portrayed as an incredible motivator, committed educator, wonderful family man and someone who is only looking out for the welfare of his players. Not a dubious character in the bunch, in other words. College coaching: only geniuses and saints need apply.” . . .

“The Jets traded for receiver Brandon Marshall but still have no decent quarterback,” writes Greg Cote of the Miami Herald. “That’s like someone who can’t cook buying a great set of pots and pans.” . . . Daytime TV star Judge Judy signed on with CBS for another five years the other day. According to TV Guide, she pulls in a cool US$47 million a year. As comedian Argus Hamilton pointed out: “Only Kobe Bryant gets paid more to sit on the bench.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

A quiz from Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “Seahawks fans will remember the ill-fated goal-line pass in the final seconds of Super Bowl XLIX as: a) Picked and Rolled; b) The Wrongest Yard; c) The Agony of Deflate.” . . . “Amazing that Russell Wilson is receiving virtually zero blame for the Interception Heard Round the World,” writes Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginia-Pilot. “I’m not making him out to be the goat, but had his pass been lower and not so far in front of Ricardo Lockette, it’s less likely the ball would have been picked off. Some guys get – maybe earn – special treatment after they make a crucial mistake. Fair enough. But if Tony Romo had turned the ball over at the goal line like that in the Super Bowl, he’d be assuming a false identity and moving to Latvia.” . . .

“The Vancouver Canucks have called up rookie Latvian forward Ronalds Kenins, who has already scored two goals in three games,” noted Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong earlier this week. “Ronalds says the Canucks looks like they can use all the helps they can gets.” . . . The WHL held its winter meetings in Las Vegas earlier this month. One supposes that all the hotels in Lethbridge, Moose Jaw, Swift Current, Prince Albert, Brandon, etc., were booked, thus forcing the pooh-bahs to go south. . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: New NCAA regulations prohibit student-athletes from studying more than 30 hours per week. . . .

Comedian Argus Hamilton had this take on Deflategate: “(New England Patriots owner) Bob Kraft referred questions about deflated footballs to Bill Belichick, who denied all wrongdoing and blamed Tom Brady, who denied wrongdoing and blamed the ballboys, who might rat out everyone. We baby boomers loved it. For one beautiful day, Nixon was still president and we were all young again.” . . . “The Chicago Cubs’ renovation of Wrigley Field has caused a huge neighbourhood rat infestation,” reports comedy writer Alex Kaseberg. “The good news? They’re Cubs rats, so they’ll be gone by October.” . . .

“As for Warren Sapp’s arrest,” writes Ray Ratto of CSNbayarea.com, “not paying for two hookers he apparently had employed for his own post-Super Bowl party will not help his credit rating, and not just with the International Fille de Joie Workers Guild, especially given that he filed for bankruptcy three years ago. Unpaid debts are a real red flag there, Skippy. On the other hand, Pete Carroll and Johnny Manziel both appreciate Sapp’s effort on their behalf.” . . . Here’s Ratto, again: “It’s an old saying, but an occasionally apt one, so when (head coach) Todd McLellan said the Sharks, who gave away a point to the hideous Edmontons on Monday night, ‘didn’t have the piss and vinegar that it takes to win,’ we elders knew to what he was referring. That said, a lot of the team’s younger players were afraid just what kind of energy drinks they would be offered at Tuesday’s practice.” . . .

On July 27, 2011, shortly after Eric Weddle signed with the San Diego Chargers, Sapp tweeted: “8 million a year for a safety you couldn’t pick out of a lineup!” . . . On Tuesday, after Sapp’s arrest, Weddle fired back: “Thank you for the motivation the last 4 yrs. I really appreciated it. #whoisinthelineupnow.” . . . Liquidation sales began at Target stores on Thursday. Had some of the bargain-seekers who showed up been even semi-regular Target shoppers, all of the employees might still have jobs there a year from now. . . .

The Philippines is the call-centre capital of the world but, as Torben Rolfsen, the host of The Rolfsen Report on TSN 1040 Vancouver, points out: “And still Mayweather and Pacquaio have trouble communicating.” . . . Here’s Rolfsen, again: “NBC News anchor Brian Williams recanted his story about coming under fire on a helicopter in Iraq. He now says it was Lance Armstrong's girlfriend.” . . . Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, asks: “Anyone but me want to see Lance Armstrong play against Brian Williams in a rousing game of Liar’s Dice?” . . .

“Orange News says Beijing police questioned a man who rode the subway wearing a watermelon mask,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “All they got was his name, rank and Mosaic Stadium seat number.” . . . “How about the drama surrounding the Winnipeg Jets?” asks Currie. “Throw in Humphrey Bogart, and you’d have the Kane Mutiny.” . . . If you weren’t aware, Sports Illustrated has laid off all of its staff photographers. Which means, as comedy writer Tim Hunter points out, that “this year’s Swimsuit Issue could be entirely selfies.” . . . Just wondering, but how is it still Sports Illustrated if it has dumped all of its photographers? . . .

“Tiger Woods has withdrawn from the PGA Tour’s Farmers Insurance Open, leaving midway through the first round with a back injury,” notes The Left Coast Sports Babe. “So over at ESPN, they no longer have to worry this weekend about covering golf.” . . . It seems to me that Woods’ body simply has broken down. Could it be that we have seen the last of him in the top 50? Top 100?. . . “I think it's time for Randy Carlyle to be considered for coach of the year,” tweets Bruce Penton of the Medicine Hat News. . . . A tweet from Ken Campbell of The Hockey News: “Just looking at Martin Brodeur's draft year in 1990. He outscored four skaters taken in the first round of that draft. Had 47 career points.” . . .

Headline at fark.com: British boxer Ricky Hatton’s house robbed after he tweeted he’d be out of town for the weekend / He really telegraphed that one. . . . Letroy Guion, a defensive tackle with the Greent Bay Packers, is facing marijuana- and gun-related charges. As comedy writer Alan Ray noted: “The NFL will follow its routine judicial protocol — Innocent until proven a liability.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

An observation from Norman Chad, in his Couch Slouch column from the Washington Post: “Can you imagine the buildup and the hype — think of the length of the pregame show alone — if ESPN were around for the creation of the world?” . . . When the Seattle Seahawks dealt receiver Percy Harvin to the New York Jets, the New York Post headlined it: Percy snatcher. . . . The gang at Fark.com went with: Ppppercy and the Jets. . . . Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com noted: “Seattle will apparently receive a conditional draft pick in 2015. Percy Harvin will receive the month of January off.” . . .

After arriving in London, England, where they play the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday, the Detroit Lions released running back William Powell. So much for him getting the royal treatment. . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Calvin Johnson is out until back is healthy enough to carry team again. . . .

Jimmy Kimmel of ABC-TV yearns for the good ol’ days. “I love baseball,” he says. “You know, baseball was our national pastime before selfies took over.” . . . One of the college football bowl games this festive season will be the Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl. Len Berman of ThatsSports.com points out: “Yup, nothing goes together quite as well as spicy wings and a citrusy drink. What’s next, Guantanamo Bay sponsoring the Liberty Bowl?” . . . Here’s Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald making a valid point: “At a WWE event, the Big Show ripped down a Russian flag. Before World War III starts, can someone quickly explain to the Russians about pro wrestling? Thanks.” . . .

Thanks to Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times for passing along a note from Vox.com. Wanting to see how much action there is in a televised NFL game, the folks there took an in-depth look at what was shown during the telecast of the Oct. 6 game between the Cincinnati Bengals and New England Patriots. The results:
• Players standing around: 35.5 per cent
• Commercials: 24.5 per cent
• Replays: 10.7 per cent
• Coach shots: 4.9 per cent
• Referee shots: 3.2 per cent
• Halftime: 3.2 per cent
• Sideline player shots: 2.2 per cent
• On-screen promotions: 2 per cent
• Other (crowd shots, cheerleaders): 5.5 per cent
• Actual football being played: 8.3 per cent.

“According to an ABC News report,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, “clowns carrying baseball bats have been terrorizing people in Bakersfield, California. ‘We feel your pain,’ said Cubs fans.” . . . A note to the talking heads doing the highlight shows who refer to the NBA as the Association. There is only one Association and they sang Windy. Feel free to Google it. OK? . . . “The Canadian Ebola vaccine looks very promising,” notes comedy writer Alex Kaseberg. “If Canada can rid themselves of Justin Bieber, they can get rid of anything.” . . .

Hey, TSN, you can ditch those fantasy football commercials as soon as you can find the delete button. Thanks. . . . “The NBA is experimenting with shortening games,” writes Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot, “while some players wish for a shorter season. But when it comes to sports in general on TV, what I want is a lot less pre-game chatter – none would be good – from the overcrowded panels whose analysis amounts to nothing. And I get what I want simply by not watching until the ball is in play.” . . . But, gee, without the panels, what’s left? . . . Gee, where would the likes of P.J. Stock and Glenn Healy go to be heard? . . .

Here’s Molinaro, again: “Media accounts of Kansas City’s undying love for its Royals go real easy on the inconvenient truth that the team ranked 25th out of 30 in attendance. The https://twitter.com/Royals were one of only six MLB clubs that didn’t break the 2-million mark this year. But don’t expect the facts to get in the way of a good story.” . . . Michael Beasley has played his way out of the NBA and signed with the Shanghai Sharks. Which got Greg Cote of the Miami Herald to asking: “How do you say ‘got weed?’ in Chinese?” . . .

With Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos putting a hammering on the San Francisco 49ers on Sunday night, Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen tweeted: “Finally, something positive to take Coloradans minds off worrying about weed-tainted Halloween candy.” . . . Have to wonder how many major league managers called their realtors when they found out Friday that Joe Maddon had left the Tampa Bay Rays. . . .

We close this week with a thought or two from Jack Finarelli, the Sports Curmudgeon, who is quickly becoming our resident sports philosopher: “With regard to Dallas Cowboys’ running back Joseph Randle’s arrest for shoplifting some cologne and some underwear because he supposedly did not want to wait in a long line at the cashier to pay for those items, can I please get someone at ESPN or FOX Sports1 to stop calling this a bad decision. That was so far beyond a simple ‘bad decision’ that it is insulting to every person on earth who ever made a bad decision. Buying and holding Enron stock was a bad decision; wasting two hours of one’s life to see the movie Ishtar was a bad decision; shoplifting items because the cashier line was too long to wait in is not a bad decision; it is an indicator of a massive case of entitlement. The fact that he is now some kind of spokesthing for the underwear company ought to be embarrassing to the max – but entitled people seem not to understand the concept of embarrassment.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

If you’re watching the MLB playoffs, you will have noticed that this autumn’s slogan is ‘Always October.‘ As Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle put it in a tweet: “That's so poetic! Was selected by MLB over ‘Kiss My November.’ ” . . . Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on baseball commissioner Bud Selig forming a committee to look at speeding up games: “I still like my idea: First run wins.” . . .

The best quote out of this week’s 1984 Edmonton Oilers' reunion came from Mark Messier, who said: "I never finished high school, so this is my first actual reunion.” . . . Quarterback Kerry Joseph emerged from retirement this week and signed with the CFL’s Saskatchewan Roughriders. Apparently, he walked across Wascana Lake to get to Mosaic Stadium for the official signing. . . .

“Paul Revere, founder of Paul Revere and the Raiders, has passed away at the age of 76,” writes Janice Hough, aka the Left Coast Sports Babe. “Please can someone get a comment from Sarah Palin on his death?” . . .  Hough, again: “So the AL representative in the World Series will be either the Kansas City Royals or the Baltimore Orioles. And Fox executives just threw up.” . . . Having just spent some time on Prairie highways, I am shocked by how many Alberta drivers appear to have purchased vehicles that lack working turn signals. . . .

Michael Phelps, one of the greatest American swimmers of all-time, is facing a second DUI charge after being arrested in Baltimore on Tuesday. “Apparently,” notes comedy writer Jim Barach, “not only does he swim like a fish, he drinks like one, too.” . . . Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post added: “Phelps was released by police after doing a few lengths in the drunk tank.” . . . How are the St. Louis Cardinals doing it this season? Perhaps with a solid mix of older and younger players. As Matt Holliday told CBSsports.com: “It’s a good combination of experience and ignorance.” . . .

Jack Finarelli, aka The Sports Curmudgeon, has this idea involving football telecasts: “There would be no interviews with coaches just before the game or at halftime of the game. The penalty would be caning – probably 50 strokes would do the trick. The coaches clearly do not want to be interrupted from whatever zone they are trying to get themselves into; they never say anything even remotely interesting; the interviewer has to pretend to care about the pabulum answers. Stop this insanity and stop it immediately!” . . . OK! This is a great idea. But it should be extended to baseball, basketball and hockey telecasts, too. . . .

“A person who goes by the name Fake Gainer on Twitter says the No. 1 rivalry in sports in Canada is the Stampeders and Riders,” reports Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. “I’m going with Leafs-Habs, Rider fans-Bomber fans and Jennifer Jones-Rachel Homan.” . . . “An ESPN poll of fan satisfaction rates Toronto's NHL club last of 122 professional sports teams,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “That's the Leafs for ya: when they finally finish first, it’s for being worst.” . . .

So what did I think of Sportsnet’s first night of NHL coverage? Well, it’s early but I was hoping for more new faces and new voices, less of some old faces and old voices, and more of Elliotte Friedman. . . . The new ref cam provides some interesting looks, but I’m thinking the guy wearing it has to be feeling a bit nerdish. . . . Yes, it’s early but these Edmonton Oilers look a lot like those Edmonton Oilers, don’t they? . . . Here’s Gary Player, 78, looking ahead in an interview on SiriusXM: “I’ve always said when I die I just hope that the golf course up in heaven looks like Augusta (National). I want to be the head pro, but I’m not in a hurry to tee off.” . . .

Headline at Fark.com: Tom Brady’s deal with the devil has finally expired. . . . “A friend in Oklahoma City tells me he attends Edmonton Oilers farm team games,” writes Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen. “I thought Edmonton was the farm team.” . . . "What’s this we hear — Johnny Manziel wants to be Jameis Winston’s life coach?" ponders Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. "So what’s next, John Daly taking Tiger Woods under his wing?" . . . One more from Perry: "Scots went to the polls (recently) and voted by a 55-45 margin not to: a) Leave the United Kingdom; b) Join the Big Ten." . . .

"Remember," writes Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, “when NFL officials thought the biggest distraction this season would be Michael Sam?” . . . Doug Ferguson of The Associated Press writes: “Jim Furyk earned $5,987,395 this year without winning on the PGA Tour. That’s about $250,000 more than Jack Nicklaus made in his career.” . . . IN HIS CAREER! . . . Think about that for a moment or two. . . . Cleveland Cavaliers star LeBron James is producing a basketball-related comedy show for the TV network Starz. Asked how many seasons he thought it might run, he replied: “Last time I said, ‘Not one, not two, not three, not four …,’ that didn’t go over too well.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

“Carmelo Anthony is apparently planning to opt out of his contract with the New York Knicks,” notes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “What a shame to break up such a great 37-45 team.” . . . “LeBron James will opt out of his Miami Heat deal. Assume the Spurs have already told him, ‘No thanks.’ ” . . . Hough again: “Wonder how many Miami fans are checking Cleveland websites for advice on the best way to burn jerseys.” . . .

Headline at SportsPickle.com: Pentagon unveils plans for new $390 million T-shirt cannon. . . . “Second seed Li Na was upset at Wimbledon,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “Barbora Zahlavova Strycova overwhelmed her 23 letters to 4.” . . . “A sign of prosperity or waste in Riderville,” wonders Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. “Every retired player seems to have a job in the front office.” . . .

My wife and I were in our car in the parking lot at our doctor’s office on Thursday afternoon when a guy pulled up in his truck. It was a Ford F350 Lariat Super Duty Powerstroke Turbo Diesel V-8. . . . He sat in it and left it running. Then he lit a cigarette, put down his window and let us share in the smoke. . . . My first thought was that the guy is a disrespectful clown. My second thought was that the guy must be a lottery winner. . . . “I'm on a 3-week cleanse,” tweets Vancouver radio personality Torben Rolfsen. “No vegetables or fibre.” . . . Rolfsen also noted that the World Cup took Friday off because “all the FIFA officials are huge NHL draft junkies.” . . .

“Tired of British voices on World Cup broadcasts?” writes Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot. “Then turn to Univision’s coverage of the Copa Mundial, where announcers and analysts excitedly talk and shout and always appear to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And that’s before the games start.” . . . Russia and South Korea played to a 1-1 draw during the World Cup, after which, according to Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald, “Vladimir Putin suggested the tie be broken by a military invasion.” . . . Contributor Bill Littlejohn, after Uruguay’s Luis Suarez was suspended for four months for a biting incident: “He asked FIFA if he could serve it in bite-sized increments.” . . . Headline at Fark.com: Chewy Luis in the news. . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: FIFA officials discover dozens of gnawed-off body parts in Luis Suarez’s locker. . . . The British version of The Huffington Post went with: Chewy Luis and the Blues. . . .

Here‘s comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “In the World Cup, Mexico faced Croatia. Or as they call that in Los Angeles, the three hours where nobody’s lawn was cared for.” . . . Bennie Logan, the Philadelphia Eagles’ nose tackle, has upped his weight at the request of the coaching staff. As Logan explained: “Most people, when they picture a nose tackle, they picture a 330-plus guy, just clogging up the middle. But the way we play our defence, you’ve got to be able to run. And I don’t feel I’d be able to run or do the things our coaches, in our scheme, require us to do. That’s why I’m not 330, or put on that much weight.” . . . So how much does Bennie weight? He tips the Toledo at a dainty 319 pounds. . . .

Kibwe Johnson, who lives and trains in Kamloops, won the men’s hammer throw title at the U.S. Outdoor track-and-field championships in Sacramento, Calif., on Thursday. It was his third national outdoor title in the last four years. “I really thought I had another meter or two in me, so I am not terribly happy,” Johnson told Michael Wagaman of The Associated Presss. “But the main goal was to win and I did that.” Johnson threw 243 feet 4 inches; he won in 2011 by throwing 266-9. . . . Johnson, who was born in San Francisco, moved to Kamloops in order to train under the tutelage of Dr. Anatoliy Bondarchuk. . . .

“An American Legion baseball game in Juneau, Alaska, was briefly interrupted because a bear was roaming along the outfield fence,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “It nearly became the first game called on account of game.” . . . One more from Perry: “The Milwaukee Brewers scored three runs on one wild pitch by Colorado Rockies pitcher Christian Friedrich (last) Saturday. No word on whether Rockies manager Walt Weiss took the team to Dairy Queen after the game.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Let’s start with a Friday tweet from Ray Ratto of Comcast SportsNet: “(FIFA president Sepp) Blatter says World Cup in Qatar was a mistake, but in fairness, Qatar had a better bid than the surface of the sun.” . . . After ex-New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez, who is being held on a murder charge, was indicted Thursday on new double-murder charges, The Fake ESPN tweeted: “Aaron Hernandez passes Rae Carruth and Ray Lewis for the NFL’s all-time record in homicides” . . . Here’s Ian Hamilton, in the Regina Leader-Post: “General Motors has announced it is recalling three million vehicles in North America, increasing its total this year to more than 11 million. It’s the worst performance by a GM in Detroit since Matt Millen.” . . .

“Roger Goodell mentioned on NFL Network (last) week that the league is thinking of expanding next year’s draft to four days,” writes Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot, in reference to the NFL commissioner. “A move perfectly in keeping with the league’s ‘too much is never enough’ philosophy.” . . . One more from Molinaro: “Even the NHL has had a rule for 25 years prohibiting players from coming off the bench to escalate a fight, but baseball continues to do nothing to discourage bench-clearing brawls. Must be another one of those unwritten rules that’s preventing Bud Selig from acting.” . . .

The other night at the Cannes Film Festival, Peter Bradshaw of The Guardian got to see Grace of Monaco, the new movie that features Nicole Kidman. And what did he think? Well, he started by calling it “a breathtaking catastrophe.” He continued: “It is a film so awe-inspiringly wooden that it is basically a fire-risk. The cringe-factor is ionospherically high. . . . A fleet of ambulances may have to be stationed outside the Palais to take tuxed audiences to hospital afterwards to have their toes uncurled under general anaesthetic.” . . . To think that sporting teams often get upset with a little bit of criticism. . . .

“Russia's president played in a celebrity hockey game in Sochi,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “He recorded a Vladimir Putin hat-trick, with six goals, five assists and three foreign invasions.” . . . One more from Currie: “The San Jose Sharks have already announced forward Marty Havlat and blueliner Dan Boyle won't be back. Havlat has been cut while Boyle was lanced.” . . . Currie, again: “Saskatoon police say 70 per cent of local vehicles stolen in 2014 had the keys in them. I admit I've forgotten the keys many times in my 1990 Volkswagen; still no luck.” . . .

"Can a drone strike be far behind?" wondered comedy writer Tim Hunter after Oregon State fired Craig Robinson, the men's basketball coach, the other day. Robinson just happens to have connections -- his brother-in-law is U.S. President Barack Obama. . . . Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun points out: “The top six OPS hitters in the American League are two Venezuelans, three Dominicans and a Cuban. Seventh is a Korean.” . . . Sheesh! Wonder what Grapes thinks of that? . . . “California Chrome has shown all athletes that you can have a lot of success without Tweeting about it,” tweets Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register. . . .

Doc Rivers, the head coach of the Los Angeles Clippers, ripped the referees after losing Game 5 of a second-round playoff series to the host Oklahoma City Thunder. The NBA then fined him $25,000. . . . “On the plus side,” noted Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times, “the league gave him back $50,000 for ripping his team’s owner.” . . . “It’s 81 and cloudy,” said CBS-TV's David Letterman, referring to the weather in New York City the other day, “just like Donald Sterling.” . . . “The Los Angeles District Attorney is now investigating Donald Sterling’s mistress after she allegedly threatened to release more audio recordings in order to blackmail him,” NBC-TV’s Late Night host Seth Meyers offered. “Sterling is very upset because he prefers to be whitemailed.”

Who is the last Canadian to hold a belt as a world heavyweight boxing champion? That would be Haitian-born, Montreal-raised Bermane Stiverne, who knocked out Chris Arreola in the sixth round last Saturday to win the WBC title that had been vacated by Vitali Klitschko, who has bigger things on his plate in Ukraine. . . . Two other Canadians have held the WBC belt -- Tommy Burns and Trevor Berbick. . . . After firing head coach Mark Jackson, who went 51-31 this season, Golden State Warriors owner Joe Lacob said the deposed coach “probably could do a little better job of managing up and sideways.” . . . To which Perry wrote: "Coincidence? Jackson’s reaction to that comment probably included the words 'up' and 'sideways,' too." . . .

“Set to earn many millions of dollars playing football, (Aaron) Hernandez had to be, when he was playing, the first active serial killer in NFL history,” writes Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. “No O.J. Simpson mentions, please.” . . . “Oscar Pistorius’s defence team now is arguing that the former Olympic star has ‘anxiety issues.’ ” Janice Hough (aka The Left Coast Sports Babe) wrote earlier this week. “Right, like Pistorius is anxious now that he may spend the rest of his life in jail.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)


There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

“Tiger Woods says he isn’t sure if he will be able to play at Augusta,” notes Janice Hough (aka The Left Coast Sports Babe). “And if you thought that little boy at the Kansas-Stanford game was crying, wait until you see the Masters’ TV sponsors.” . . . Hough, again: “Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper has installed beer taps in the governor’s mansion. And visitors from out of state are thinking ‘beer schmeer, what about brownies?’ ” . . . With Fleetwood Mac preparing for its first tour in 16 years, Hough writes: “Start building that shelter in the backyard. Last year, Stevie Nicks said there was ‘more chance of an asteroid hitting the earth’ than of Christine McVie rejoining Fleetwood Mac.” . . .

Here’s Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot, after the Arizona Diamondbacks and Los Angeles Dodgers opened the MLB season in Sydney, Australia, last weekend: “The first time a big-league baseball team appeared Down Under was in 1888 when the touring White Sox played on the same cricket grounds used by the Dodgers and D-backs. Apparently, the American game never took off there.” . . . The MLB season hits high gear this weekend and, really, there’s nothing better than that first week of play. . . . The New York Yankees will have slimmed-down-southpaw CC Sabathia on the mound for the sixth straight Opening Day. The last Yankees pitcher to start six straight Opening Days? No, it wasn’t Ron Guidry. It was Lefty Gomez (1932-37). . . .

Here’s Jack Todd in the Montreal Gazette, writing about the Big Owe: “To pour another $300 million into putting a new roof on the place would require a whole truckload of stupid on the part of our politicians — so we can’t rule it out. But the only approach that makes sense is to take it apart, sell it off one piece at a time to defray the costs, and replace it with urban green space or some plan that does not involve another billion in taxpayer dollars. Meanwhile, if you really have to spend $300 million, spend it to help build the real baseball stadium that should have been put up 20 years ago.” . . .

“The NFL is suing rapper M.I.A. for $16.6 million for her on-camera middle-finger salute during the halftime show of Super XLVI,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “Strangely, the league isn’t suing the Denver Broncos, who were M.I.A. during Super Bowl XLVIII.” . . . “Russia has been kicked out of the G8,” notes Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong. “I had no idea it was involved in Gatorade formulations.” . . .

“My wife asked my thoughts on New Brunswick skip Jimmy Gratton choosing Kate Upton for his Dream Team,” offers RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “I said, ‘Let he without a sinful thought throw the first stone.’ " . . . One more from Currie: “Twitter was down for roughly 45 minutes on March 11. So for a while millions of people with no life had no one to share it with.” . . . “According to the Daily Record UK,” Currie reports, “38 celebrities recently were wedded in secret. I'll go out on a limb and say none of them are Kardashians.” . . .

“The Raiders must be flattered,” writes Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. “Richie Incognito says he’d love to play for them because he knows the coaches and because ‘the Raiders have that aura.’ Talk about desperate sucking up. The Raiders are a lacklustre football organization with an interesting past and questionable future. Aura? Ghostbusters couldn’t locate the Raiders’ aura.” . . . The Chicago White Sox will offer a three-pound dessert at games this season. Included in the package are vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream -- four scoops of each, don’t you know -- with caramel and strawberry sauces and chocolate syrup. It’s all topped, naturally, with whipped cream and cherries. Column contributor Bill Littlejohn says: “The American Heart Association calls it Sundae Bloody Sundae.” . . . Brett Enright, a restaurateur in Florida, claims to have set a world record by building a 125-pound hot dog. Littlejohn says it may not be a record. As he points out: “Many are disputing that claim, saying that with his recent weight gain, Yasiel Puig of the Dodgers weighs 245 pounds." . . .

“Sad to report that Roberto Luongo, the only NHL player worth following on Twitter, has decided to scale back on his social media activities,” notes Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun. “All I can say is @strombone1 please come home soon.” . . . Yes, Twitter is a drearier place since @strombone1 quieted down. . . . One more from Simmons: “David Braley must be a dreamer. He has the Argos and the B.C. Lions up for sale, if anybody’s asking. The Argos price: $20 million. The Lions price: $60 million. At those prices, Braley will be owning two teams for a while.” . . . Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express has heard from friends in Toronto who “tell me many of the lawn chairs set up at Yonge and Bloor for the Stanley Cup parade now are sitting empty.” . . .

You may have noticed this week that the Detroit Tigers signed third baseman Miguel Cabrera to baseball’s latest unbelievable contract. Someone did the match and discovered that Cabrera will earn US$49,423 for each of his at-bats over the next 10 years. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2010 the median annual income of a Michigan household was $49,445. . . . A tweet from Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register, as Stanford’s men’s basketball team was losing to Dayton on Thursday: “Tiger Woods was here, apparently. Stanford won't be playing on the weekend. He can relate to that.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.