Keeping Score: Bambi thumps runner ... Reaching out to Bartman ... Boss's bike breaks

With news that the NHL’s Arizona Coyotes are likely to get a new arena in Tempe, Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register notes: “Coyotes are abandoning a beautiful arena in Glendale. Wrong side of town? Not if they adopted a new parking plan called ‘winning.’ ” . . . Headline at TheKicker.com: Anthony Davis can’t name anyone else on the Pelicans either. . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Week 10 TV ratings up after NFL tries new strategy of good games. . . .

A report from Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “English golfer Ian Poulter, in fit of pique, took a club and whacked his bag a few times — shattering not only his cellphone, but his caddie’s, too. That was certainly uncalled for.” . . . One more from Perry: “Giddy Cubs fan Ricky Rainey, to commemorate the curse-busting World Series title, had the Wrigley Field marquee tattooed onto the top of his head. So how does he top that, get ivy implants?” . . . By now, you may have seen the video of the deer that took out cross-country runner Justin DeLuzio in Center Valley, Pa. As Perry put it, it was a case of “a fast-moving Bambi deciding to turn Thumper.” . . .

“The Chicago Cubs have won their first World Series title since 1908 and Donald Trump has won the U.S. presidential election,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “Those logic-defying events can mean only one thing: Congratulations to the 2017 Stanley Cup-champion Toronto Maple Leafs.” . . . Fore Twenty, a marijuana-friendly golf tournament, is scheduled for Oregon City, Ore., in June. Hamilton reports: “Highest score wins.” . . . Hamilton, again: “The Houston Texans and Oakland Raiders are to meet in an NFL game Monday in Mexico City. Raiders fans had better hustle home before Trump’s wall goes up.” . . .

“President Obama inviting the Chicago Cubs to the White House before he leaves office reminds one of a similar situation the last time the Cubs won the World Series,” writes Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif.-based correspondent. “Pharaoh invited the Cubs for a visit just before the Ten Plagues of Egypt.” . . . Littlejohn, again: “Cubs owner Tom Ricketts says he plans to 'reach out' to Steve Bartman. Hope it goes better than when Moises Alou reached out to Bartman.” . . .

“In Freehold, N.J.,” reports Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong, “biker Dan Barkalow stopped to help a stranded rider whose chopper had broken down. It turned out to be Bruce Springsteen. So of all the bikes sold in New Jersey, Springsteen bought one that wasn’t Born to Run.”. . . “Kate Upton aimed a twitter tirade at two Cy Young voters who left her fiancé Justin Verlander off their ballot,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “I can only imagine what it's like having Kate Upton against me.” . . . One more from Currie: “Game 3 of the World Chess Championship in New York lasted six hours. I caught most of the second half by switching back-and-forth during the final three minutes of an NBA game.” . . . Currie, again: “Metro UK reports a German found a long-lost wedding ring in his garden with a carrot grown through it. He was happy to find the band, even if it was just one-carrot gold.” . . . 

If there was any doubt as to which B.C. community is the province’s Baseball City, it was removed with the news that Victoria will be the site of the next two Canadian senior men’s championships. The 2017 tournament is scheduled for Aug. 23-27, with the 2018 event running Aug. 22-25. Victoria also is home to the HarbourCats, who led the West Coast League in attendance in each of the past two seasons. In 2016, the average crowd was 2,239. . . . Yes, Kamloops remains on the WCL’s radar, but that would be in 2018 at the earliest. . . . 

After the visiting Chicago Bears lost 36-10 to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune wrote: “The Bears went down to Tampa to play a football game. Instead, they held televised auditions for clown college.” . . . “Don’t look now, but the Los Angeles Lakers are respectable again,” notes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “So is it Luke Walton coaching or Kobe Bryant leaving?” . . . The Indiana Supreme Court has ruled that Notre Dame’s police department doesn’t have to release crime reports to ESPN. “Well, yes,” writes Hough, “because there is no higher authority than Touchdown Jesus.” . . .

It’s Thursday night and there are five NHL games to choose from on TV — Winnipeg at Philadelphia, Florida at Toronto, Nashville at Ottawa, Edmonton at Los Angeles, and Arizona at Vancouver. . . . Whoops! That’s not quite right. They all are regional telecasts. . . . So we’ll watch one of the two NBA telecasts, the NCAA college football game or the NFL game. While we’re watching, we will be wondering just how it is the NHL thinks it is growing the game. . . . 

Here’s Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald: “SI.com ranked the most memorable moustaches in sports. I believe that six of the top 10 belong to former members of the East German women’s Olympic team.” . . . Long-time Chicago Cubs fan Mabel Ball died on Nov. 8 at the age of 108, just days after her favourite team had ended its championship drought. As comedy writer Jim Barach noted: “Her last words were ‘I’m not going through that again.’ ”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.) 

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Putting on broccoli or cauliflower? . . . Bears shuffle to Stanley Cup win . . . Bills' tickets in demand

“Police in Overton, Texas, shut down a lemonade stand because the 7- and 8-year-old proprietors didn’t have a permit,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Luckily, the cops didn’t notice the girls’ radio was broadcasting a Houston Astros game without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.” . . . Perry, with a note for those attending the U.S. Open: “Golf fans attending this weekend’s U.S. Open can bring marijuana into Chambers Bay — it’s legal in Washington state, remember — but they’re not allowed to smoke it there. That’s what you call an odd rub of the green.” . . . After playing Chambers Bay, the pros’ next stop will be the mini-golf course at Tower Lanes Entertainment Centre in Tacoma. . . .

While watching the U.S. Open on Friday, former Kamloops Blazers goaltender Darryl Reaugh tweeted: “So, someone explain how PGA players can't function if a guy is walking 75 yards behind the green but a train rumbling by is no big deal??!” . . . Also on the subject of the U.S. Open, longtime golf writer Dan Jenkins tweeted: “My friend Ed Sneed asks when was the last time the Open was played on a nuclear waste facility and does a Geiger counter count as a 15th club?” . . . After Round 2 of the U.S. Open, Mark Whicker of the Los Angeles News Group tweeted: “Henrik Stenson said Chambers Bay was like ‘putting on broccoli.’ I guess he won't be stalking the lead (Saturday).” . . . When he heard Stenson’s critique, Rory McIlroy responded: “I don't think they're as green as broccoli. Maybe more like cauliflower.” . . .

In something of a gaffe, the Korean Times had the Chicago Bears winning the Stanley Cup. “I can’t wait to see the Stanley Cup Shuffle,” noted Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe., Calif., correspondent. . . . During the NBA Finals, Littlejohn noted: “Internet buzz in the 'what if' department ponders WNBA star Elena Della Donne marrying Matthew Dellavedova of the Cleveland Cavaliers. That would result in her name being Elena Delle Donne-Dellavedova.” . . . Another report from Littlejohn: “With just $918 worth of tickets sold in 10 theatres nationwide, United Passions, a movie about FIFA, has earned the title of lowest grossing movie in U.S. history.$918? That won't even feed Chuck Blazer's cats for one day.” . . .

A note from Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen: “Congrats to Sepp Blatter on his new job running MLB All-Star Game voting.” . . . At the time of that posting, the Kansas City Royals had seven AL starters. . . . “Don’t get me wrong,” writes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, “I’m thrilled not to see an AL All-Star team full of Yankees and Red Sox players. But seven Royals starting? And fans can vote a maximum of 35 times per email address. Great to have World Series home-field advantage decided in part by a process with all the integrity of American Idol.” . . . The U of Texas has approved the sale of beer at Darrell K Royal—Texas Memorial Stadium, which has a seating capacity of 100,119. “And the state has just legalized firearms on college campuses,” Hough notes. “What could possibly go wrong?” . . .

“Donald Trump announced he is running for president,” reports Rolfsen. “Does he mean FIFA?” . . . There is a new highways law in B.C. that cracks down on left-lane hogs, who can be fined $167 and hit with three demerit points. As Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong points out: “Previously, all you got was a one-finger salute from motorists passing you on the right.” . . . Here’s Brad Dickson, in the Omaha World-Herald: “The Magna Carta turned 800 years old on Monday. It established that no man is above the law. Of course, this was before Florida State University fielded athletic teams.” . . .

After it was revealed that former figure skating great Michelle Kwan had joined Hillary Clinton’s staff, NBC-TV’s Jimmy Fallon added that “Tonya Harding was hired to take care of any other Democrats who enter the race.” . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Report: 87% of Americans unaware they have been chosen in later rounds of MLB draft. . . . You may have laughed when the Buffalo Bills signed Rex Ryan as their head coach, but there are reports that the NFL team has sold 57,500 season tickets. . . .

The NHL’s 2014-15 regular-season began on Oct. 8. The NBA’s 2014-15 schedule opened on Oct. 28. The NBA season ended Tuesday night, one night after the NHL’s wrapped up. Gee, do you think the NHL season runs too long? . . . If TV people are wondering why ratings in Canada were down in 2014-15, perhaps they can look at (1) the amount of hockey on TV; (2) the lack of offence in what has turned into a grinding game, rather than free flowing; (3) the seemingly never-ending season. . . .

“In Game 6 of the NBA Finals,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, “Andre Iguodala of the Warriors scored 25 points, was named series MVP and finally won his first championship. If Tennessee Williams were alive, he’d call it the Night of the Iguodala.” . . . “A resort in Cazumel, Mexico, has opened an underwater games lounge and bar,” Currie reports. “I hear it’s a real dive.” . . . Let’s close with Currie: “Canadian officials have ruled out mechanics as the cause of a recent Halifax-bound Air Canada crash. They’re still not sure about Eugenie Bouchard.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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The gang at SportsPickle.com keeps track of preseason predictions and has recalled three of the best (worst?) that are related to this NFL season. 1. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers would win the Super Bowl (ESPN’s Herman Edwards). 2. Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler would be league MVP (NFL Network’s Brian Billick). 3. The Dallas Cowboys would finish 3-13 (USA Today’s Nate Davis). . . . Now that’s throwing mud against the wall and hoping something sticks. . . . “This isn’t whining,” says analyst John Garrett on a Vancouver Canucks telecast, and then he proceeds to do just that.. . . It’s enough to make a viewer turn against the Canucks. . . .

If you were watching Green Bay and the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday, you had to feel that the football gods would make the Packers pay for the two early field goals. Football is a physical game and when a team gets the opportunity to impose its will on the other side, especially early in the game, shouldn’t it be trying to stuff the ball into the end zone, especially when the line of scrimmage is the one? . . . And, yes, the NFL needs to rework its overtime rule. Each team should get at least one possession, because a game shouldn’t be decided at least in part by a coin flip. . . . Of course, this is the NFL where a catch isn’t always a catch. . . .

“It's minus-7 in Cooperstown,” Mark Whicker of the L.A Daily News reported on Tuesday night. “The Vaseline on Gaylord Perry's plaque froze.” . . . At the risk of repeating myself, how is it that so much unpenalized cross-checking has been allowed to creep back into hockey? . . . Here’s Richmond, B.C. blogger TC Chong, who claims to know a thing or two about shopping: “Target Canada went to throw in the towel, but when it went to the towel section, the shelves were empty.” . . .

“L.A. Police have recovered a duplicate statue of O.J. Simpson’s Heisman Trophy that was stolen from USC’s Heritage Hall 20 years ago,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “But O.J. says that won’t deter his quest to find the real trophy.” . . . Pro rassler Abdullah the Butcher turned 74 on Sunday. As Perry notes: “Just a guess here, but no one gets in his way when he goes to cut the cake.” . . . One more from Perry: “Scientists can gauge the slightest slowing of Earth’s rotation enough to know that we need to add an extra second in 2015, but what is and what isn’t a completed NFL pass still can’t pass the eyeball test?” . . .

Jay Cutler is a bodybuilder who is a four-time Mr. Olympia. Yes, he sometimes is given a tough time because of his name. “It’s been a little tough for me sometimes on Twitter,” he told DNAinfo.com, “especially on Mondays.” . . . If Johnny Gaudreau of the Calgary Flames is Johnny Hockey and Johnny Manziel of the Cleveland Browns is Johnny Football, it must mean that John Morris is Johnny Curling. . . .

You will recall that Florida State, with Jameis Winston at quarterback, got pounded 39 points by Oregon in a national semifinal. After the game, Winston was quoted as saying the game “could have went either way.” Responded RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com: “Sounds like Winston went the other way heading to math class.” . . . Might have missed the odd English class, too. . . . All six of the ‘experts’ on ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown panel picked the Denver Broncos to eliminate the visiting Indianapolis Colts last weekend. After the game, Indy punter Pat McAfee tweeted: “Oh, OK . . . Wrong horse, fellas #Colts.” . . .

ICYMI, NASCAR driver Kurt Busch is involved in a messy court case in which he has claimed his ex-girlfriend, Patricia Driscoll, is a CIA-trained assassin. As Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel wrote: “Gentlemen, start your cuckoo clocks.” . . . The aforementioned Currie chimed in with: “A friend of mine said the same thing of his ex-wife, but only about her cooking.” . . . Here’s Currie, again: “N.Y. Jets RB Chris Johnson was arrested after he ran a stop sign and police found an open firearm in his car. Is that a run-and-shoot offence?” . . .

After Washington State hire Alex Grinch as its new defensive co-ordinator, Seattle Times desk editor Scott Hanson offered: “So I’m guessing he’ll make his players practise on Christmas.” . . . After ESPN’s Ray Lewis made the statement that the ‘Tuck Rule’ is the only reason football fans know who New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is, Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen pointed out: “The only reason we know who Ray Lewis is? Witness tampering and plea bargaining.” . . . How long until Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh arrive in Cleveland to bail out LeBron and the Cavaliers?

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

In case you missed it, and you may have, John Daly -- yes, that John Daly -- has recorded a country tune that is getting some radio time. It’s called Hit It Hard, and part of it goes like this: “No laying up, no holding back, ain’t afraid of nothing, it’s a natural fact.” . . . Here’s Adam Hill of the Las Vegas Review-Journal with some advice for Daly, the crooner: “Stay away from golf references. Your real life is more of a country song than anything you’ve done on the course.” . . . Going into the weekend, NFL players, through fines and suspensions, had forfeited US$14,063,619 this year. Last season’s total, for the ENTIRE season, was $10,619,855. Do you think whatever message the NFL is trying to deliver isn’t getting through? . . .

It was nice to arrive back in B.C. after a few days in Alberta and be greeted by headlines pertaining to another ICBC rate increase. Nothing like someone taking more money out of your pocket to make you feel at home in B.C. . . . “I am still smiling about B.C. Lions president Dennis Skulsky having to cough up more than 30,000 tickets after his guaranteed win against the Riders failed miserably,” writes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. “Maybe now he will keep his mug away from TV cameras during games.” . . . Hutch shouldn’t hold his breath, should he? . . .

“Suzuki, which stopped selling cars in the U.S., has recalled 19,000 sedans due to a risk of spider webs affecting fuel lines,” claims contributor TC Chong. “As there aren’t any dealers, owners are given a toll-free line to get further instructions from company spokesman Peter Parker.” . . . Having made two return trips over the Coquihalla Highway and a trek on the Yellowhead to Jasper and back in recent weeks, I feel quite safe in saying that B.C. is the first jurisdiction in North America, and maybe all of the world, to have done away with speed limits. Oh, there are posted speed limits on our highways, but it’s quite apparent that the limit really is whatever you want it to be. . . .

“Notre Dame supposedly has sidelined four football players because of academic fraud,” reports Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel. “My question: Is there a bigger oxymoron in college football than “academic fraud”? Don’t kid yourself, all of the big-time programs — by hiding their dozens of scholastically challenged players in gut courses and pointless majors — are academic frauds down to their very core.” . . . If you aren’t aware, there now are five TSN channels available to some of us, meaning, as Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen puts it, “Ice fishing inches ever closer to a profession.” . . .

The way Mark Waller, the NFL’s chief marketing officer, has it figured, elementary-school students would do better at math if teachers worked fantasy football into the curriculum. “Well,” notes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times, “that’s one way to truly prepare students for the real-life workforce.” . . . In B.C., elementary-school students ask: “What is a curriculum?” . . . “Apple apparently will unveil iPhones with bigger screens in September,” reports Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “So at least when people look at their screens while walking and driving they won’t have to squint as much.” . . . When outfielder Scott Van Slyke of the Los Angeles Dodgers sprained an ankle this week in Arizona, he said it was because “they’ve got bad grass here.” . . . “Dude!” remarked Hough. “You want good grass, sign with the Colorado Rockies.” . . .

You thought Sportsnet’s NHL package was going to be full of new faces and different voices, didn’t you? Well, they sure fooled you, didn’t they? It’s going to be the same old all over again, with the likes of P.J. Stock and Glenn Healy and all of that gang. . . . If you hadn’t already guessed, the Sportsnet NHL telecast theme song will be Hail, Hail, the Gang’s All Here. . . . “The Dolphins continue to talk to Dan Marino about a front-office position that would be more than a figurehead role but have little real authority,” reports Greg Cote of the Miami Herald. “Suggested title: Senior Vice President of Good Old Days.” . . .

There are those who would have you believe that the NHL is about to expand into Las Vegas and Seattle. Get back to me when the Las Vegas franchise has an owner and a venue in which to play. Seattle, meanwhile, has a potential ownership group but nowhere to play. If you are a regular viewer of NHL games, you might also wonder from where the players would come to stock two expansion teams. Think about what two more teams would do to the quality of play and try not to cringe. . . . Dick Bavetta, a long-time NBA referee, has retired at the age of 74. “Bavetta has seen it all in 39 years,” writes Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “Well, except for traveling.” . . .

“(The Oakland) Athletics traded (Yoenis) Cespedes and rented (Jon) Lester for post-season,” tweets Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register. “Now they might not make post-season. What's the title of THAT movie?” . . . In Green Bay this NFL season, you will be able to visit a concession stand and spend $12 on something called ‘Bratchos.’ That would be pieces of brat, cheese and fried chips. Heath Barbato, the executive chef at Lambeau Field, told ESPN.com: “It’s basically Wisconsin in a bucket.” . . . “Caroline Wozniacki lost a point at the U.S. Open when her pony tail got caught in her racquet,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “She won the match but may have suffered a tress fracture.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

“There’s a new reality show called Dating Naked,” notes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “For all those who find The Bachelor and Bachelorette franchises too intellectual.” . . . If Orlando Bloom really did take a swing -- or try to take a swing -- at Justin Bieber, shouldn’t he be nominated as someone’s athlete of the year? . . . “The People’s Choice Awards just announced they will add a special achievement award next year, just for Orlando Bloom,” reports Hough. . . . And then there’s Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News, who writes: “Wouldn’t you like to see that twit Justin Bieber go just one round with Floyd Mayweather?” . . . It seems The Biebs isn’t doing us proud, and who saw that coming? . . .

“A company in India has come up with a ‘smart shoe’ that tracks your footsteps with the help of Google Maps,” claims Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Which means we just might witness the first traveling call in NBA history.” . . . One more from Perry: “ESPN punished First Take talking head Stephen A. Smith for his off-base comments about domestic violence by: a) Suspending him for a week; b) Making him watch all his pre-Super Bowl comments, insinuating that anyone who thought the Seahawks could beat the Broncos is a moron.” . . .

“Dustin Johnson fighting problems like we all do,” tweeted Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register, “but it does cool that arrogant PGA contention that their players are morally superior.” . . . Should we be surprised that there is at least some illicit drug use, and maybe even some sowing of wild oats, on the PGA Tour, which is populated with young men with money? . . . The ironic thing about Johnson’s predicament, which apparently comes after a third positive drug test, is that this is everything his future father-in-law, Wayne Gretzky, was able to avoid throughout his hockey career. . . .

The San Francisco 49ers are preparing to move into the brand new Levis Stadium. And it’s a fancy one. “As a nod to the team’s 49er roots,” writes Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, “each restroom will feature a gold-panning sluice. Nuggets can be exchanged for concession items.” . . . “Heartwarming headline of the week: ‘Tyson, Holyfield patch it up’,” notes Ostler. “With what, Super Glue?” . . . In Gary Bettman’s NHL, the Montreal Canadiens and defenceman P.K. Subban go to arbitration, the team offering US$5.25 million on a one-year deal and the player asking for $8.5 million, and the next day they agree on an eight-year deal worth $72 million. Go ahead and try to figure out how that works. . . .

“The Baltimore Ravens have had five arrests in the off-season,” reports comedy writer Alex Kaseberg. “It is so bad, Netflix is making a series about the Ravens called Orange is the New Purple and Black.” . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Fan at Indians game upset to find someone else In his section. . . . Another one from the gang at TheOnion.com: New study finds running for 20 minutes each day could add years of soreness to life. . . . ICYMI, Manchester United beat Real Madrid 3-1 in a soccer game played before 109,318 fans in the Big House in Ann Arbor, Mich., on Saturday afternoon. Who said soccer would never sell in the Excited States? . . .

Hey, it’s a long weekend. Which means the price of gas in Kamloops went up about six cents a litre on Wednesday. Of course it did. . . . By Saturday afternoon, it had dropped a couple of pennies, leaving us to think about what a good deal it now was. . . . Congrats to the government of Manitoba on its decision to introduce a bill during the fall session of the legislature to name the August civic holiday in honour of the late Terry Fox. A real Canadian hero, Fox was 22 when he died in 1981 during his Marathon of Hope. Yes, 1981. You are entitled to ask what has taken so long and why hasn’t all of Canada jumped all over this? . . .

“Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga have finished recording an album set for release in September,” writes blogger TC Chong. “She wore her meat dress to the recording studio and he brought along his personal chef.” . . . According to Fox-TV’s Jay Glazer, cornerback Terence Newman of the Cincinnati Bengals invited a homeless man to lunch the other day. But then Newman ate some of his guest’s French fries. Of course, the way Adam Hill of the Las Vegas Review-Journal sees it: “At least that’s progress. Ten years ago, a Bengals player would have robbed and shot the homeless guy.” . . .

I finally got around to watching 20 Feet from Stardom, the Oscar-winning documentary that features the great Darlene Love and a number of other veteran backup singers. In a word? Awesome. . . . Want another word? Incredible. . . . Don’t miss it. . . . “The most striking thing about LeBron James's decision to ‘go home’ to Cleveland?” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “It's not the Heat, it's the humility.” . . . Currie again: “Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota’s studies this fall include yoga and golf. A yoga class seems like a stretch, but I can see there being a golf course.” . . .

“I have had a like-dislike relationship with Kent Austin over the years,” confesses Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express, in reference to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats’ head coach. “I am in a dislike mode now. Gosh I enjoy watching him lose and lose it.” . . . Cleveland Browns receiver Josh Gordon has claimed that he has passed at least 70 drug tests. “Problem is,” says contributor Bill Littlejohn, “he’s take more than 1,000.” . . .

The Colorado Rockies held Troy Tulowitzki Night recently and saluted their all-star shortstop by handing out 15,000 uniform tops on which his surname was spelled Tulowizki. “A spokesperson for the team said they would fix it by honouring him with an upcoming bubblehead giveaway,” reports Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen. . . . Adds Littlejohn: “Tulowitzki wasn’t upset his name was spelled incorrectly. But I’m guessing he wishes Rockies had been spelled Y-a-n-k-e-e-s.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Terry Siebert, a Toronto Maple Leafs fan of long-standing, died in Hamilton on Monday, and his obituary appeared in the Hamilton Spectator. The last line read: “It was Terry’s last wish that his pallbearers be the Toronto Maple Leafs so they could let him down one last time.” . . . Well, none of the Maple Leafs showed up, but the six pals who served as pallbearers all wore Maple Leafs jerseys. . . . The Regina Pats are the only team in the WHL without a head coach. Oh, they also need a couple of assistant coaches. Should we tell the new owners that training camp opens in about a month? . . .

“Germany’s World Cup trophy somehow got a piece chipped off during the title celebration,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Conspiracy theorists immediately claimed that Luis Suarez bit it.” . . . You have to love the eastern side of the CFL, where all four teams are tied for first place, each at 1-3. That would be the Toronto BlueWhites, the Hamilton GoldBlacks, the Montreal BlueRedWhites and, of course, the Ottawa RedBlacks. . . .

Headline at TheOnion.com: Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Retirement To Live Comfortably On Streets. . . . Why did the Los Angeles Kings win the Stanley Cup? Because, as head coach Darryl Sutter, says: “We had four centres no one can match up against.” Which explains why the Boston Bruins have signed Spencer Asuchak to a PTO and an invitation to rookie camp. Asuchak, who is from Kamloops and played last season with the Central league-champion Allen Americans, is 6-foot-5 and 230 pounds and can skate. . . . Don’t be surprised if Asuchak starts the season with the AHL’s Providence Bruins. . . .

Here’s Ron Judd in the Seattle Times: “The recent national kerfuffle over customer service, or lack thereof, by U.S. corporations — not to mention any names, such as COMCAST — is a blunt reminder of an indisputable fact: Corporate America has confused the art of talking about customer service with the practice of actually providing it.” . . . That’s hard to believe, isn’t it? . . . Here’s Judd, again using a skewer to point out something of an injustice: “Former U-Dub boss Mark Emmert, currently El Presidente of the cartel known as the NCAA, saw his pay soar to $1.7 million last year as he trotted around the country explaining why college football players should continue to be paid nothing.” . . . BTW, U-Dub would be U of Washington, not the U of Western Hockey League. . .

In the U.S., more than 1,000 golf courses have disappeared over the past eight years. As realtor Steve Ekovich told HBO: “There’s people that had this idea that build it and they will come. They didn’t come.” . . . The Calgary Stampeders visited the Edmonton Eskimos in CFL action on Thursday night and it seems the fans in attendance paid more attention to the 50-50 draw than they did to the game. Does that sound like the CFL, or what? . . . Connor Croken had the winning ticket and will pick up his cheque, for $348,534, on Tuesday. Croken now has more friends than any other 20-year-old in Edmonton. . . .

After centre Pau Gasol left the Los Angeles Lakers for Chicago, RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com put it this way: “He’ll just be another Spaniard running with the Bulls.” . . . Receiver Chad Johnson of the Montreal Alouettes was bemoaning the fact that he had received 15 parking tickets because he is unable to read French. Currie had a message for him: “Here’s a tip: A French fire hydrant looks just like an English one.” . . .

You may have heard that Fox Sports has bumped Pam Oliver off its No. 1 NFL crew, with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, and replaced her with Erin Andrews. Oliver reacted by saying that she felt blindsided. To which Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald wrote: “We have about 314 million Americans. I’m pretty sure the other 313,999,999 saw this one coming.” . . . With Byron Scott said to be pondering an offer to coach the NBA’s Lakers, Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register tweeted: “Byron Scott obviously trying to balance prestige of coaching the Lakers against the chore of coaching Nick Young.” . . . Nick Young? Perhaps you know him better as Swaggy P. . . . OK, maybe not. . . .

Somehow, Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice was handed only a two-game suspension for allegedly knocking unconscious the woman who now is his wife. “Maybe it’s for the best,” reasoned Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “If instead of fighting, the couple had just mellowed out with a joint, he’d have been suspended at least four games.” . . . DJ Gallo of SportsPickle.com writes that you are a professional golfer if “your only shots that roll on the ground the whole way are putts” and “your Buick is a source of income, not personal shame” and “none of your playing partners loudly belch in your backswing.” . . .

There now is a move afoot to take the 2018 World Cup away from Russia. Yeah, like FIFA is going to put itself in front of Vladimir Putin and do that. . . . The other day, Fark.com wondered “what if every NHL player went home like LeBron?” . . . Fark.com answered its own question with: “No American team would win the cup ever again.” . . . You know it was a slow weekend in sports when the biggest story in some places had to do with LeBron deciding what number he will wear with the Cleveland Cavaliers.

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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After the NBA draft, someone asked Steve Martin about the Three Amigos-style suit worn by No. 1 pick Andrew Wiggins. Martin replied via Twitter: “You gotta have the hat.” . . . Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press with a quiz: “Why is Eastern Michigan putting in a gray football field? a) It wanted a neutral field. b) So it can bid to host the Grey Cup. c) You can easily touch it up with Just for Men.” . . . The other day, a Qantas flight from L.A. to Melbourne, Australia, turned back after a pipe burst, meaning there was water everywhere. “United would have kept going,” noted Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, “and charged a swimming-pool fee.” . . .

After LeBron James opted out of his contract with the NBA’s Miami Heat, Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen quipped: “Further details will be revealed on an upcoming TV special, The Revision.” . . . Forward Jason Spezza has said the pressure of playing in Ottawa didn’t have anything to do with his demanding a trade from the Senators. Rolfsen figures that “sounds legit. It's not like it’s ever affected the performance of our MPs.” . . . In case you missed it, the Winnipeg BlueGolds beat the Ottawa RedBlacks 36-28 in a Thursday night CFL game. . . .

Headline on the first sports page of the Daily Star after Luis Suarez apologized to Giorgio Chiellini: Finally . . . Luis Tells The Tooth. . . . After a recent World Cup game, Hough wrote: “With Nigerians focused on their game against Argentina, did that mean Americans were seeing a lot fewer opportunities to get rich in their email in-boxes?” . . . Here’s Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle: “If Ghana had knocked America out of the Cup for the third straight time, we would have had to invade 'em. Or at least send 300 advisers down there to slap 'em around.” . . .

One more from the aforementioned Ostler: “No reason was given for the sacking of (San Jose) Sharks broadcaster Drew Remenda, nor for the firing of (Golden State) Warriors' color man Jim Barnett (who was subsequently un-fired). Thus leading to speculation that their bosses felt the men were too critical. What many management/ownership types don't get: Fans want honesty from broadcasters, not sugar-coated bullsnort.” . . . Ostler, again: “Great scene, Michelle Wie wins the U.S. Women's Open and gets a Champagne shower on the 18th green from some of her competitors. At men's tourneys, for some reason, the TV producers never show us that part, when Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson run onto the green and squirt Champagne on Rory McIlroy or Bubba Watson.” . . . Ostler, finally: “Hey, Tiger. If you wash those shirts in cold water, they won't shrink like crazy.” . . .

After Wie won the U.S. Open, she got flowers from actor Adam Sandler. “I feel like that’s the biggest prize in golf,” she said, “getting flowers from Happy Gilmore.” . . . You may not be aware that the Coquihalla Highway, which runs through the heart of the B.C. Interior, has had its speed limit increased to 120 km-h in parts. I know, you thought the speed limit was whatever that guy screaming past you in the Mercedes wants it to be. . . . Can’t, or don’t, enforce the laws that are on the books? Make new ones. . . . Headline at theglobeandmail.com: Higher speed limits in B.C. could put more animals at risks, study warns. . . . “One sign the free-agent speculation surrounding NBA forward Carmelo Anthony has gotten out of hand?” suggests RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “I just heard he signed with the Vancouver Canucks.” . . .

The cast of the movie Field of Dreams is holding a 25-year reunion at the facility in Iowa. “In the modern-day version,” says comedy writer Jerry Perisho, “the little girl chokes on the hot dog and then hires an attorney who sues everyone present.” . . . No one enjoys Canada more than Bobby Bonilla and he’s not even Canadian. On July 1, for the fourth year in a row, the New York Mets paid the former major leaguer US$1,193,248.20. The Mets will make that annual payment through 2035 before his contract is paid out. . . .

“Authorities suspect alcohol was involved after Philadelphia Flyers captain Claude Giroux was arrested for repeatedly grabbing the buttocks of a male police officer in Ottawa,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Puck purists immediately derided it as the worst example of clutch-and-grab hockey.” . . . “In a statement released by the Flyers,” wrote Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post, “Giroux called the incident ‘a misguided attempt at humour’ – kind of like most of the things Ron MacLean says on Coach’s Corner.” . . . One more from Hamilton: “An unmanned aerial vehicle was spotted above Pittsburgh’s PNC Park during a game between the Pirates and New York Mets. In Toronto, the only drone at Rogers Centre is Buck Martinez.” . . .

A Tuesday tweet from Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register: “Tim Howard goaltends and gets worldwide congrats. Dwight Howard goaltends and gets ridiculed. He's right, everybody's against him.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Triumphant Jurgen Klinsmann rips critics: ‘I told you idiots we weren’t good enough.’ . . . Home-plate umpire Quinn Wolcott tossed Boston Red Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski from a recent game. What, wondered Anthony Castrovince of MLB.com, did Pierzynski say to warrant the ejection? Pierzynski replied: “Give me a new ball. One you can see.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)


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Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “I love watching the Masters every year, and always think that the last day of the Masters is the Super Sunday of golf. But it really is fun every year listening to the golfers and the announcers talk about a golf course like it’s church, isn’t it? And not just any church. Like the Vatican, that kind of church.” . . . Former Kamloops Blazers goaltender Cole Cheveldave, who was traded to the Prince Albert Raiders last summer, will attend Saint Mary’s U in Halifax and play for the Huskies next season. . . .

Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald, writing about an event of last week: “On Friday, the Syracuse Chiefs, a AAA baseball team, are hosting ‘Deport Justin Bieber Night.’ It’s just nice to see one minor league team stop with the dumb promotions and delve into important social commentary.” . . . The New York Yankees turned a triple play against the host Tampa Bay Rays on Thursday. It was the third triple killing by the Yankees’ defence since 2010, each one coming with CC Sabathia on the mound. . . .

So if you aren't cheering for the Montreal Canadiens, the lone Canadian team in the Stanley Cup playoffs, does that mean you are a Canadien but not a Canadian? . . . The CFL’s Saskatchewan Roughriders gave quarterback Darian Durant a contract extension this week. “The deal is said to involve multiple years and all the water he can walk on,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. . . . The water will disappear after Durant throws his first interception. . . . Here’s Currie again: “A pair of Wall Street financiers bought Milwaukee’s last-place NBA team for $550 million. There’s a shrewd investment: over half a billion dollars to get a few lousy Bucks.” . . .

“Chad Johnson signs with Montreal Alouettes,” tweeted Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register, “(and) changes name to Chad Quatre-vingt-cinq.” . . . The afore-mentioned Currie is disappointed that the Als no longer play in Olympic Stadium. As he put it: “The Big O-chocinco has a ring to it.” . . . According to Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong, Graham DeLaet of Weyburn, Sask., wasn’t too disappointed when he missed the cut at the Masters. Why not? As Chong explained: “He already owns quite a few green jackets, even though they all say John Deere on the front.” . . .

“I kind of like Brian Burke’s hedgehog look,” notes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. . . . Is that what that look is called? . . . . If you’ve been watching, you will know that Major League Baseball’s new system of reviewing plays has a few bugs in it. As Kevin Paul Dupont of the Boston Globe tweeted: “MLB replay system. More bugs than a $19-a-nite hotel room.” . . . “Well,” notes Janice Hough, aka the Left Coast Sports Babe, “Boston manager John Farrell has become the answer to a future trivia question – the first MLB ejection that resulted from arguing about a replay ruling. Are we shocked that it was about a call that went in favour of the Yankees?” . . .

Kelly Olynyk, the pride of Kamloops, has finished up a pretty good first season with the NBA’s Boston Celtics. The 7-footer definitely showed improvement as the season went on. On April 12, he put in what was then a career-high 25 points and added eight rebounds, seven on the defensive boards, as the Celtics beat the Cavaliers 111-99 in Cleveland. More impressively, he started and played 38:52. . . . On Monday, he started again, playing 35:17, and scoring 28 points and adding nine boards, in a 113-108 loss to the Sixers in Philadelphia. . . . The Celtics wrapped up their season at home on Wednesday, losing 118-102 to the Washington Wizards. Olynyk started and had a team-high 24 points and seven rebounds. . . . For the season, he averaged 20.0 minutes, 8.7 points, 5.2 rebounds and 1.6 assists over 70 games. The Celtics, in rebuilding mode, finished 25-57 and well out of the playoffs. . . . Olynyk is expected to spend some time with Canada’s men’s team this summer, but he also will be back in Kamloops. His annual Olynyk Klynyk is scheduled for Aug. 16-20. . . .

“We keep hearing about players with ‘flu-like symptoms,’ ” notes Phil Mushnick of the New York Post. “How are they treated, with cure-like remedies?” . . . You may have been watching last week when starter Michael Pineda of the New York Yankees had something that sure looked like pinetar on one hand. That got Mushnick to recalling an anecdote involving writer Phil Pepe, who covered the Yankees. As Mushnick wrote: “Pepe recalled when Jim Kaat was accused of applying a ‘foreign substance’ to the ball. ‘It’s not a foreign substance,’ said Kaat. ‘It comes from North Carolina.’ ”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

“Tiger Woods says he isn’t sure if he will be able to play at Augusta,” notes Janice Hough (aka The Left Coast Sports Babe). “And if you thought that little boy at the Kansas-Stanford game was crying, wait until you see the Masters’ TV sponsors.” . . . Hough, again: “Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper has installed beer taps in the governor’s mansion. And visitors from out of state are thinking ‘beer schmeer, what about brownies?’ ” . . . With Fleetwood Mac preparing for its first tour in 16 years, Hough writes: “Start building that shelter in the backyard. Last year, Stevie Nicks said there was ‘more chance of an asteroid hitting the earth’ than of Christine McVie rejoining Fleetwood Mac.” . . .

Here’s Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot, after the Arizona Diamondbacks and Los Angeles Dodgers opened the MLB season in Sydney, Australia, last weekend: “The first time a big-league baseball team appeared Down Under was in 1888 when the touring White Sox played on the same cricket grounds used by the Dodgers and D-backs. Apparently, the American game never took off there.” . . . The MLB season hits high gear this weekend and, really, there’s nothing better than that first week of play. . . . The New York Yankees will have slimmed-down-southpaw CC Sabathia on the mound for the sixth straight Opening Day. The last Yankees pitcher to start six straight Opening Days? No, it wasn’t Ron Guidry. It was Lefty Gomez (1932-37). . . .

Here’s Jack Todd in the Montreal Gazette, writing about the Big Owe: “To pour another $300 million into putting a new roof on the place would require a whole truckload of stupid on the part of our politicians — so we can’t rule it out. But the only approach that makes sense is to take it apart, sell it off one piece at a time to defray the costs, and replace it with urban green space or some plan that does not involve another billion in taxpayer dollars. Meanwhile, if you really have to spend $300 million, spend it to help build the real baseball stadium that should have been put up 20 years ago.” . . .

“The NFL is suing rapper M.I.A. for $16.6 million for her on-camera middle-finger salute during the halftime show of Super XLVI,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “Strangely, the league isn’t suing the Denver Broncos, who were M.I.A. during Super Bowl XLVIII.” . . . “Russia has been kicked out of the G8,” notes Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong. “I had no idea it was involved in Gatorade formulations.” . . .

“My wife asked my thoughts on New Brunswick skip Jimmy Gratton choosing Kate Upton for his Dream Team,” offers RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “I said, ‘Let he without a sinful thought throw the first stone.’ " . . . One more from Currie: “Twitter was down for roughly 45 minutes on March 11. So for a while millions of people with no life had no one to share it with.” . . . “According to the Daily Record UK,” Currie reports, “38 celebrities recently were wedded in secret. I'll go out on a limb and say none of them are Kardashians.” . . .

“The Raiders must be flattered,” writes Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. “Richie Incognito says he’d love to play for them because he knows the coaches and because ‘the Raiders have that aura.’ Talk about desperate sucking up. The Raiders are a lacklustre football organization with an interesting past and questionable future. Aura? Ghostbusters couldn’t locate the Raiders’ aura.” . . . The Chicago White Sox will offer a three-pound dessert at games this season. Included in the package are vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream -- four scoops of each, don’t you know -- with caramel and strawberry sauces and chocolate syrup. It’s all topped, naturally, with whipped cream and cherries. Column contributor Bill Littlejohn says: “The American Heart Association calls it Sundae Bloody Sundae.” . . . Brett Enright, a restaurateur in Florida, claims to have set a world record by building a 125-pound hot dog. Littlejohn says it may not be a record. As he points out: “Many are disputing that claim, saying that with his recent weight gain, Yasiel Puig of the Dodgers weighs 245 pounds." . . .

“Sad to report that Roberto Luongo, the only NHL player worth following on Twitter, has decided to scale back on his social media activities,” notes Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun. “All I can say is @strombone1 please come home soon.” . . . Yes, Twitter is a drearier place since @strombone1 quieted down. . . . One more from Simmons: “David Braley must be a dreamer. He has the Argos and the B.C. Lions up for sale, if anybody’s asking. The Argos price: $20 million. The Lions price: $60 million. At those prices, Braley will be owning two teams for a while.” . . . Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express has heard from friends in Toronto who “tell me many of the lawn chairs set up at Yonge and Bloor for the Stanley Cup parade now are sitting empty.” . . .

You may have noticed this week that the Detroit Tigers signed third baseman Miguel Cabrera to baseball’s latest unbelievable contract. Someone did the match and discovered that Cabrera will earn US$49,423 for each of his at-bats over the next 10 years. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2010 the median annual income of a Michigan household was $49,445. . . . A tweet from Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register, as Stanford’s men’s basketball team was losing to Dayton on Thursday: “Tiger Woods was here, apparently. Stanford won't be playing on the weekend. He can relate to that.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

The Vancouver Canucks have gone from Roberto Luongo and Corey Schneider as their goaltending tandem to Eddie Lack and Jacob Markstrom, and you may want to think about how that happened. . . . You also may want to ponder what sank quicker, the Canucks or the Titanic. . . . Is it just me, or have the Sedin twins all but lost their games in less than a year? Did they grow old in hockey years before we knew it? Does head coach John Tortorella’s shot-blocking, grinding style disagree with them that much? . . . BTW, the Canucks owe each of the Sedin boys four more seasons at $7 million per. . . .

“Kazakhstan finished last in the medal count with one bronze at Sochi,” writes Richmond blogger TC Chong. “Richard Petty said they would have won it all if no one else showed up.” . . . Shades of O.J.: In South Africa, a 24-hour TV channel dedicated to Oscar Pistorius’ murder trial went on the air last Sunday. . . . Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “My feeling on LeBron’s mask: Hey, aren’t Marvel superheroes supposed to LOOK like Marvel superheroes?” . . .

Steve Simmons, in the Toronto Sun: “Word around the Olympics was that Rogers is targeting CBC star George Stroumboulopoulos to host its NHL broadcasts next season after it couldn’t secure James Duthie. And it’s all but been confirmed that Paul Romanuk will be Rogers’ second play-by-play man, after Jim Hughson in the No. 1 chair.” . . . Romanuk, a former TSN hockey play-by-play voice, has been in London, England, for the past few years. . . . I haven’t got my hands on a copy yet, but you can bet that I’ll read His Ownself: A Semi-Memoir, from the legendary Dan Jenkins. The book hit the shelves on Tuesday. . . .

“Don't really understand the mass appeal of outdoor hockey games,” tweeted Dave Molinari of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette as the Penguins and Blackhawks played in a Chicago snowstorm last weekend, “but assume it has nothing to do with the exceptional quality of play.” . . . Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register chimed in with: “Good job, Bettman. Let's don't have Olympic hockey. Let's have fiasco hockey in a snowstorm instead.” . . . I really need someone to explain to me just how it is that Toronto’s mayor is still in office. . . . And while they’re at it, they can explain to me how Russia rattles sabres in Ukraine and the price of gas in Kamloops jumps from $1.20.9 to $1.33.9. . . .

Here’s Mark Cannizzaro of the New York Post, writing about Tiger Woods before the final round of last week’s Honda Classic: “Now, however, the familiar refrain for Woods is one of a player grasping at straws, one of a player who is reluctant to accept his new reality. Woods, in bad times and in good, now sounds a lot more like the masses of weekend amateurs who are in constant search of their elusive game, never knowing what’s coming with the next swing.” . . . Former San Francisco outfielder Barry Bonds is working with the Giants as a hitting coach during spring training. “Let’s just hope all of that attention and power doesn’t give Barry a big head,” offered comedy writer Alex Kaseberg. . . .

During the recent NFL Combine, Auburn defensive end Dee Ford, speaking on Sirius XM radio, took a shot at South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney. “People are just looking at the fact that he is a physical specimen,” Ford said. “Honestly, if you watch the film, he plays like a blind dog in a meat market, basically.” . . . How did Clowney react to that? “I just feel like he’s trying to build his stock up or something,” Clowney told the NFL Network. “It doesn’t bother me, but I told him, ‘I’m still better than you.’ ” . . . Hey, Capital One, it’s time to retire that commercial with Martin Short in it. Please! . . .

So . . . Larry Brooks of the New York Post wrote about 10 days ago that the Rangers had attempted to get forward Martin St. Louis from the Tampa Bay Lightning in exchange for their captain, Ryan Callahan. . . . That prompted this response from Phil Esposito, a Lightning broadcaster, who was appearing on The Next Sports Star: "Some (bleep) in New York that writes for the New York Post, and we all know who he is, decided, 'Let me put something out there so maybe we can start some controversy.' It's a bunch of (bleep). It's been going on for as long as I've been in the game of hockey . . . Don't give me this (crap) you're going to trade Marty St. Louis, who has a no-movement clause, he doesn't want to leave, for Callahan, who's a kid, I like him, he's a heart-and-souler, but he couldn't score more than 25 or 30 goals in his (bleeping) lifetime, and he doesn't play all the time because he gets hurt, because he plays like he's 6-foot-5." . . . Of course, Brooks fired back: “If Phil Esposito feels obligated to talk about me on the radio, perhaps he would like to tell the story about the time he spent an elevator ride in the Garden kicking me in the back of the legs because he was upset with something I had written the previous day. At least that would be accurate.” . . . And then, come Wednesday’s NHL trade deadline, guess what happened? Yes, St. Louis ended up with the Rangers, with Callahan going the other way. . . . Atta boy, Espo! . . .

“Men’s curling in Saskatchewan is at an all-time low. Again,” writes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. “Pat Simmons, our best curler, plays in Alberta. And two Albertans have twice come to our province to cherry pick a pass to the Brier. It worked once. A handful of provinces are sending pros and we are sending the equivalent of good club teams. We’ve won seven Briers in 75 years. Not good enough. Maybe the Richardsons will consider a comeback.” . . . The Los Angeles Dodgers will have Larry King (yes, that Larry King) playing host to a show on their 24/7 TV network. The show will be called Larry King At Bat. “Presumably,” notes Janice Hough (aka the Left Coast Sports Babe), “Larry hopes to get as a regular guest that nice young man Vin Scully.” . . .

When the Canucks dealt goaltender Roberto Luongo to Florida on Wednesday, it looked for a while as though Luongo and protagonist Tim Thomas would be the Panthers’ goaltenders. Asked how the two of them would get along, Luongo responded: “I always get along with my backups.” . . . Thomas was later dealt to the Dallas Stars. . . . “Just woke up in a cold sweat from the ultimate Sochi nightmare,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “As in, tennis scream queen Maria Sharapova decided to take up curling.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.