Sunday, May 10, 2015

She's not Miss Congeniality . . . Now that's an approach shot . . . $83,333 per second. Really?





If the Toronto Blue Jays, including their manager, their right fielder and their TV play-by-play bunch, would stop griping about not getting calls, perhaps they would get some calls. . . . A tweet from pitcher Brandon McCarthy of the Los Angeles Dodgers, after he had Tommy John surgery: “Thles pani pills are’nt havin any eff=ect at al;/ claer th*inking is me and motoor sskils is very greats.” . . . A few days later, McCarthy tweeted: “WAY too many people are curious as to the amount of pain pills you have left.” . . . Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong with a bridge report: “The old Port Mann Bridge connecting Coquitlam to Surrey has almost been deconstructed, with only the middle piece remaining. I’ve always wondered whether Port Mann Bridge had a brother name Peter.” . . .

“A guy from USA Today actually tweeted last week that the term ‘war room’ in conjunction with the NFL draft should be abandoned because it’s ‘offensive to people fighting real wars,’ ” writes Ron Judd of the Seattle Times. “Hear, hear. It’s also offensive to people living in real rooms.” . . . One more from Judd: “Thanks to KIRO TV traffic reporter Alexis Smith for dispensing timely May Day advice that people might as well adopt as daily wisdom from here to eternity: ‘Avoid downtown Seattle today if possible.’ ” . . .

Who said Alex Rodriguez is a no-class guy? It should be pointed out that he waited until the day after Willie Mays’ 84th birthday to hit home run No. 661 and move past the Say Hey Kid into fourth spot on baseball’s all-time list. . . . RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com writes: “Lindsey Vonn and Tiger Woods have agreed to split up. One returns to going downhill fast; the other goes back to her skiing.” . . . What happened to the Montreal Canadiens? When did they turn into the Hab-Nots? . . .

“University of Bridgeport (Conn.) senior Danielle Puddefoot was charged with assault after the team’s year-end banquet,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “According to police, she head-butted a teammate after Puddefoot didn’t receive an award during the event. What did she expect to win anyway, Miss Congeniality?” . . . Hamilton again, “After a four-month investigation, the NFL has determined that New England Patriots employees let air out of the footballs the Patriots used during their AFC championship victory over the Indianapolis Colts. So much for the premise that cheaterssssssssssssssss never prossssssssssssssssper.” . . .

Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent checks in. . . . “Earplugs helped American Pharoah win the Kentucky Derby,” Littlejohn reports. “But after the Belmont is over, he has to give them back to Colin Kaepernick.” . . . Littlejohn, again: “Leaked from Tom Brady’s appeal to Roger Goodell: ‘To air is human, to forgive divine.” . . . A man on a Connecticut golf course pulled a gun when the group behind his complained of slow play and expressed a desire to play through. Littlejohn claims that “gives new meaning to 'approach shot.’ ” . . . Apparently, Bobby Knight’s cell phone rings to the tune of My Way. As Littlejohn points out, that’s “only fitting because Sinatra was the chair-man of the board.” . . .

Garth Brooks is spending the weekend in Omaha, Neb., where he is to play six shows over four days. According to Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald: “Brooks brought about 20 semitrailers to town. Or, as Cher calls that, ‘my wardrobe.’ ”. . . “Minor league baseball's Akron RubberDucks held Brian Williams' Pants-on-Fire Night,” Dickson reports. “I only hope this doesn't stop anyone from taking the RubberDucks seriously.” . . .

A couple of Robservations from Rob Vanstone of the Regina Leader-Post: 1. Why is it so difficult for the NHL to insist that its referees call the game by the book in the playoffs, at a level of consistency that is maintained throughout a game? In football, by contrast, officials are not averse to calling penalties in the crucial stages of an important contest — as evidenced by the final seconds of the 2014 Grey Cup game. . . . 2. If only there was a way for the NHL to ban hockey panels. . . .

Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen has been keeping an eye on the World hockey championship. “Do you believe in miracles?” he reports. “Belarus made Minsk-meat out of the U.S. 5-2 at the world hockey championship.” . . . Rolfsen also had an eye on last weekend’s big fight. As he notes: “I'm not sure what had less fighting: the NHL playoffs or Mayweather-Pacquiao.” . . . Here’s Dickson with his take on the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight: “It was sort of like the NFL draft, only with even more hugging.” . . . To help brighten your day, here are a few numbers showing Floyd Mayweather’s income from last weekend’s scrap: $180 million for the fight; $15 million per round; $5 million per minute; $83,333 per second. . . . Per second! . . . Enjoy your day!

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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