WHL and fighting: What next? ... Doing some Scattershooting ... Rosetown gets Allan Cup

MLB became less watchable Monday when the Anaheim Angels put outfielder Mike Trout, the game’s premier player, on the DL with a thumb injury that will need surgery. He was injured on a headfirst slide into second base. Hopefully, at least some players will take notice and stop sliding in that fashion.

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On Oct. 7, 2014, in Game 1 of the NLDS, Bryce Harper of the visiting Washington Nationals hit a 445-foot bomb off pitcher Hunter Strickland of the San Francisco Giants. Harper stood and watched as the ball sailed over the right-field wall and into McCovey Cove. On Monday, the two met up again, and again it was in San Francisco. This time, Strickland drilled Harper in the right hip with a 97 mph fastball and a basebrawl ensued. Talk about carrying a grudge!

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I have lived in B.C. for more than 17 years and thought I had seen everything on the political front. Until now, that is. If you aren’t aware, we had a provincial election earlier this month. In that election, the ruling party won more seats than anyone else and got more of the popular vote. But it was close. The result is that a party that won three seats (out of 87) is calling the shots and is about to enter into a four-year deal with the second-place finisher in an attempt to take over. No word on whether the deal includes a no-trade clause. . . . Only in B.C., folks. Only in B.C.

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“Ringling Brothers has packed its tent after 146 years,” writes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. “Word is the Trump administration has hired the clowns.” . . . Any clowns still unemployed are free to visit B.C.

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Is there a political or sporting leader out there today who is better at putting lipstick on a pig than NHL commish Gary Bettman? . . . Bruce Arthur of the Toronto Star has a piece right here on Bettman’s state-of-the-NHL address that was given prior to Game 1 of the Stanley Cup final.

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Craig Smith playing without a stick because he broke it...crosschecking a guy.

— Ken Campbell (@THNKenCampbell) May 30, 2017

In Gary Bettman’s NHL, a goal is disallowed via video review because a skate was hovering over a blue line a few seconds earlier, thus the play was ruled offside. Meanwhile, referees choose to turn a blind eye to numerous other fouls. Yes, it’s all a head-scratcher, or a forehead-slapper.

I have an idea - call the rule book no matter who player is. https://t.co/0nMwP06lAJ

— Ray Ferraro (@rayferrarotsn) May 28, 2017

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You know how the NFL protects its quarterbacks? When will the NHL start doing the same with its goaltenders?

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RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com reports: “Tom Brady is promoting an Aston Martin that starts at US$212,000. Yahoo Sports calls the price ridiculously expensive; Gisele Bundchen calls it chump change.”

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Headline on the front page of Tuesday’s New York Daily News and New York Post: DUI OF THE TIGER. . . . The headlines are accompanied by mugshots of Tiger Woods, of course.

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The 2018 Allan Cup will be decided in Rosetown, Sask., April 9-14. The Allan Cup goes to Canada’s senior AAA hockey champion. Rosetown is the home of the Red Wings, who play in the aptly named Chinook Hockey League. G Taran Kozun, who had a pretty good run with the Seattle Thunderbirds for part of 2013-14 and all of 2014-15 after being acquired from the Kamloops Blazers , played with the Red Wings this season.

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F Mitch Wahl (Spokane, 2005-10) has signed a one-year contract with Innsbruck (Austria, Erste Bank Liga). This season, with Ilves Tampere (Finland, Liiga), he had a goal and three assists in 16 games. He also played with Västervik (Sweden, Allsvenskan), putting up six goals and eight assists in 23 games, and had a goal and five assist in eight games with Oskarshamn (Sweden, Allsvenskan).

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Prior to the start of this season, the OHL issued another crackdown on fighting.

The OHL’s board of governors decided that a player would be suspended once he had been involved in three fights and again for every fight after that. That standard had been 10 since the start of the 2012-13 season.

The OHL didn’t have any players with more than 10 fights in 2014-15 or 2015-16. This season, the OHL’s pugilistic leader fought eight times. There was one player with five fights, 11 with four and another 24 with three.

According to hockeyfights.com, the OHL had 167 fights this season, down from 315 in 2015-16 and 359 in 2014-15.

The QMJHL had 288 fights in 2016-17, while the WHL had 394.

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Here, from hockeyfights.com, is a look at the number of fights in the OHL (20 teams), QMJHL (18) and WHL (22) over the past five regular seasons, with the average number of fights per game in parentheses. . . .

OHL:

2012-13: 474 (.697)

2013-14: 473 (.696)

2014-15: 359 (.528)

2015-16: 315 (.463)

2016-17: 167 (.246)

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QMJHL:

2012-13: 408 (.667)

2013-14: 445 (.727)

2014-15: 406 (.663)

2015-16: 309 (.505)

2016-17: 288 (.471)

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WHL:

2012-13: 666 (.841)

2013-14: 679 (.857)

2014-15: 467 (.511)

2015-16: 393 (.496)

2016-17: 394 (.497)

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While fighting has declined markedly in the OHL, that hasn’t quite been the case in the WHL where there aren’t any OHL-like limitations.

This season, according to hockeyfights.com, there were 788 fighting majors handed out in the WHL, meaning that there were 394 fights, an average of half a fight per game.

This season, the WHL had six players with 10 or more fights, with a total of 112 involved in at least three scraps.

If you were wondering, 11 of the WHL’s 22 teams had at least 36 fights, led by the Vancouver Giants (48), Lethbridge Hurricanes (46), Spokane Chiefs (45), and Edmonton Oil Kings and Kelowna Rockets, each 44. The OHL leader, the Oshawa Generals, had 28 fights. The QMJHL’s Victoriaville Tigres had 46.

It’s worth noting that there were only five fights in the WHL playoffs this season, down from 11 a year ago. In the spring of 2015, there were seven playoff bouts.

This spring, the OHL playoffs featured 20 fights, while there were 22 in the QMJHL.

In the interest of player safety, fighting is slowly leaving the game. While it’s true that fighting isn’t the No. 1 cause of concussions in hockey, there no longer can be any denying that an accumulation of blows to the head can cause brain damage. So it only makes sense that a league comprising teenagers do as much as it possibly can to ensure their safety.

Perhaps some discussion on how to further reduce fighting will take place when the WHL holds its annual meeting in Vancouver, June 13 and 14.

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The Prince Albert Raiders have signed Ron Gunville, their director of player personnel, to a contract extension through the end of the 2018-19 season. . . . Gunville, a 47-year-old Prince Albert native, has been in this role since the 2015-16 season. He joined the Raiders in June 2013 as assistant director of player personnel, after having scouted for the Prince George Cougars. . . . Gunville is a former WHL player, having spent time over three seasons (1987-90) with the Raiders and Lethbridge Hurricanes. In 91 regular-season games, he had nine goals and 24 assists, along with 233 penalty minutes.

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Might F Tyson Jost end up with the Regina Pats next season as they prepare to play in the 2018 Memorial Cup as the host team? John Paddock, the Pats’ general manager and head coach, isn’t concerning himself with that, preferring to take a wait-and-see approach. . . . Jost, whose rights the Pats acquired from the Everett Silvertips, started this season with UND and finished it with the NHL’s Colorado Avalanche. . . . Greg Harder of the Regina Leader-Post has more right here.

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Frank Deford, the greatest sports essayist of our time, died on Sunday night at his home in Key West, Fla. He was 78. In the days before the Internet, as a Sports Illustrated subscriber, I picked up each magazine and hoped there was a Deford piece inside. He was beyond great, wherever that is. . . . Daniel Victor of The New York Times has more right here.

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I’m also on Twitter (@gdrinnan).

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Reports on Monday indicated that Joe Shawhan will be named head coach of the Michigan Tech Huskies today, taking over from Mel Pearson, who now is the head coach at Michigan. Shawhan spent the past three seasons as an assistant alongside Pearson. . . . The first place I saw with the story was techhockeyguide.com. . . . A goaltender, Shawhan played four seasons (1983-87) at Lake Superior State, then began his coaching career as a volunteer assistant under Frank Anzalone and then Jeff Jackson. . . . Shawhan later was the general manager and head coach of the NAHL’s Soo Indians (1995-2005), where he was a three-time coach of the year. After that, he was an assistant at Lake Superior State for three seasons before working as a volunteer assistant with the Northern Michigan Wildcats as he worked on completing a bachelor’s degree. He was named a full-time assistant in 2010, then headed to Michigan Tech in 2014.

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Jane Renaud Mickey Renaud's Mom @SpitsHockey was in Mallorca with us @GoldMedalPlates I dedicated Big League to her well done @SpitsHockey

— Tom Cochrane (@TomCochraneMUS) May 30, 2017

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Doing some scattershooting ... Seattle's nightmare in Windsor continues ... Spitfires thrash WHL champs

Happiness is pic.twitter.com/bD1rxMOGxJ

— ken alpay (@ken19765) May 22, 2017

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I hope you caught at least the OT period in the IIHF World Championship game between Sweden and Canada from Cologne, Germany, on Sunday. The OT may have been the best hockey I have seen all of this season. There may not have been any goals, but there was a whole lot of action. It was hockey played the way it is meant to be played. It was wonderful.

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As for a tournament of such stature being decided by a shootout, let’s just say that in my mind Canada and Sweden shared the gold medal.

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RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com notes: “The wife of NFL cornerback Antonio Cromartie is pregnant. Currently Cromartie's offspring total 13 — or a dozen to the Saskatchewan Roughriders.”

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Every year around this time, I mention a pet peeve of mine, and this year is no different: Some things shouldn’t have a price tag on them, and the Memorial Cup is one of them. To have sold naming rights to the Memorial Cup is just wrong.

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The host Windsor Spitfires whipped the Seattle Thunderbirds 7-1 at the Memorial Cup on Sunday, in front of a crowd announced at 5,237. Terry Koshan of the Toronto Sun points out that “should be embarrassing for Memorial Cup organizers. The WFCU Centre can hold 6,500 for hockey, but one end of the building had rows of empty seats. All due respect to the players participating, but ticket prices — singles are being sold for $75 for games not involving the host Spits and $90 when they are playing — are too high for major junior hockey.”

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In an interesting move, the Arizona Diamondbacks have come up with a promotion that allows fans to watch all 25 June and July home games for $50. By my math that’s $2 a game.

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Bench coach Rob Thomson managed the New York Yankees on Friday as they lost 5-4 to the host Tampa Bay Rays. Manager Joe Girardi was attending daughter Serena’s high school graduation. This was Thomson’s fourth stint as a fill-in manager with the Yankees. Thomson is from Sarnia, Ont., and is the first Canadian to manage an MLB game since George Gibson with the 1934 Pittsburgh Pirates. Gibson was from London, Ont.

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Can the Toronto Blue Jays ever be Canada’s team when they make themselves so easy to dislike?

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Cam Hutchinson, in the Saskatoon Express: “Last week, the Jays solidified their grip as being the most disliked team in baseball. I wish people would quit saying Jose Bautista is an emotional player. He’s a jerk.”

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A note from Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “Olympic figure skater Michelle Kwan has filed divorce papers in Rhode Island, but jurisdiction figures to be a heated issue. Her soon-to-be ex wants the case heard in California, while she’s insisting on a French judge.”

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NBA star LeBron James apparently has threatened to sue a brewery in Cleveland for using a photo of him holding one of their beers without permission. Noted Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle: “Someone should remind King James that he never obtained legal permission from the people who make that Bible.”

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On the subject of the NBA, do you think the league has a problem with its competitive balance? Aside from Sunday’s victory by the Boston Celtics over the Cleveland Cavaliers, that is.

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F John Lammers (Lethbridge, Everett, 2001-06) has signed a one-year extension with Innsbruck (Austria, Erste Bank Liga). This season, in 55 games, he had 22 goals and 36 assists. He led his team in scoring and was fifth in the league scoring race. . . . 

F Robin Soudek (Edmonton, Chilliwack/Victoria, 2008-12) has signed a one-year extension with Epinal (France, Ligue Magnus). This season, he had 19 goals and 12 assists in 43 games. He led Epinal in goals and was second on the team in points. . . . 

F Michal Poletín (Regina, 2009-10) has signed a one-year extension with Piráti Chomutov (Czech Republic, Extraliga). This season, he had 19 goals and eight assists in 52 games. . . . 

D Juraj Valach (Tri-City, Vancouver, Regina, Red Deer, 2006-08 has signed a one-year extension with Piráti Chomutov (Czech Republic, Extraliga). This season, he had five goals and 13 assists in 51 games. . . .

F Tyler Mosienko (Kelowna, 2000-05) has signed a one-year contract with Epinal (France, Ligue Magnus). This season, with the Sheffield Steelers (England, UK Elite), he had a goal and four assists in six games, and he had three goals and 11 assists in 32 games with Frederikshavn (Denmark, Metal Ligaen). . . .

F Konstantin Pushkaryov (Calgary, 2004-05) has signed a one-year two-way extension with Barys Astana (Kazakhstan, KHL). This season, he had three goals and nine assists in 32 games. . . . 

F Dylan Walchuk (Spokane, 2011-13) has signed a one-year contract with Odense (Denmark, Metal Ligaen). This season, he had eight goals and 14 assists in 28 games with the University of Calgary (CIS). . . .

D Nick Walters (Everett, Brandon, Lethbridge, 2010-15) has signed a one-year contract with Odense (Denmark, Metal Ligaen). This season, he had a goal and three assists in 34 games with the Rapid City Rush (ECHL).

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The host Windsor Spitfires exploded for three goals in a record-tying 38 seconds and went on to beat the WHL-champion Seattle Thunderbirds, 7-1, at the Memorial Cup on Sunday. . . . The Spitfires improved to 2-0 in the four-team competition, with the Thunderbirds slipping to 0-2. . . . The victory assures the Spitfires of at least a spot in the tournament’s semifinal game. . . . 

The Thunderbirds were done in by horrid puck management. They were in possession of the puck in their zone on each of the first three goals, only to turn it over. Only on the play that led to the first goal was Windsor’s forecheck a real factor. . . . The Spitfires tied a tournament record for fastest three goals. They now share that record with the New Westminster Bruins, who did it in 1978 against the Trois-Rivieres Draveurs. . . . The Bruins got second-period goals from F Scott McLeod (6:03), F Ken Barry (6:21) and McLeod again (6:41) en route to a 6-3 victory on May 11, 1978 in Sudbury, Ont. The Bruins actually scored four times in 52 seconds. . . . 

On Sunday, Windsor scored those three goals on six shots, sending Seattle G Carl Stankowski to the bench in the process. Stankowski had played through all 20 of his club’s WHL playoff games without being hooked. . . . When Stankowski left, G Rylan Toth, 21, who last played on March 11, entered the game. He left that March 11 game following the first period with an undisclosed injury and hadn’t even dressed for a game until Saturday when he was on the bench as Seattle lost 4-2 to the OHL-champion Erie Otters. . . . 

F Graham Knott got Windsor’s first goal, at 4:48 of the first period. . . . F Julius Nattinen made it 2-0 just 21 seconds later. . . . F Logan Brown upped the lead to 3-0 at 5:26. . . . At that point, Seattle was being outshot, 6-0. . . . The Thunderbirds got on the scoreboard at 13:34 of the second period on a goal from F Keegan Kolesar. . . . Windsor responded with the game’s last four goals. . . . Nattinen, on a PP, restored the three-goal lead, at 18:24. . . . Knott, on another PP, added his second of the game, 33 seconds into the third period. . . . F Jeremiah Addison made it 6-1 at 3:48. He’s got two goals in the tournament. . . . Windsor F Jeremy Bracco completed the scoring with his second goal of the tournament, at 13:07. . . . Knott added an assist to his pair of goals, while Bracco had two helpers. . . .

G Michael DePietro blocked 24 shots for Windsor. . . . Stankowski gave up three goals on six shots, with Toth surrendering four on 22. . . . Windsor was 2-6 on the PP; Seattle was 0-4. . . . Announced attendance: 5,237. The facility holds 6,500. . . . OHL teams now have won 11 straight Memorial Cup games. The last time an OHL team lost in the tournament was in the 2014 final when the WHL’s Edmonton Oil Kings beat the Guelph Storm, 6-3. . . . On Monday, Erie (1-0) meets the QMJHL-champion Saint John Sea Dogs (0-1), at 4 p.m. PT (7 p.m. ET). . . . The Thunderbirds (0-2) are scheduled to play the Sea Dogs on Tuesday.

Tim Pigulski of 710 ESPN Seattle had a piece right here on the goaltending decision facing Thunderbirds head coach Steve Konowalchuk before Tuesday . . . 

Andy Eide of 710 ESPN Seattle has a game story right here.

If you click right here, Tbird Tidbits explains the situation in which the Thunderbirds now find themselves.

Terry Koshan of the Toronto Sun has a game story right here in which he points out that the Thunderbirds have played 94 games this season and this was the worst loss they have suffered.

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CHL fun fact: All of the American cities in the WHL are north of Windsor.

— Scott Sepich (@SSepich) May 21, 2017

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NFL? Sense of humour? . . . Bautista not big in Baltimore . . . Who is Twit of the Year?

A note from comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “The NFL is unsure why TV ratings are down 14 per cent. But for now let’s cut to the Papa John, Nationwide, GEICO analysis of all the penalties and injuries before we cut to a commercial.” . . . “Boise State and Baylor, in case you missed it, will be paired in the Motel 6 Cactus Bowl on Dec. 27,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “And they will keep a light on for ya: The game doesn’t kick off until 8:15 p.m.” . . . Be honest. You tuned into that Thursday night NFL game, saw the Oakland Raiders dressed in white and thought: “I didn’t know anyone in the NFL office had a sense of humour.” . . .

A report from Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif.-based correspondent: “A day after trading starter Chris Sale to the Boston Red Sox, the Chicago White Sox dealt outfielder Adam Eaton to the Washington Nationals. The White Sox haven’t seen this much upheaval since Disco Demolition Night.” . . . “Congrats to Mick Jagger becoming a dad again at 73,” tweeted Bette Midler. “Which reminds me, I need to pick up a pregnancy test, because I’m, like, 936 weeks late!” . . .

ICYMI, Dan Duquette, the general manager of the Baltimore Orioles, says he hasn’t attempted to sign Jose Bautista because Baltimore fans don’t like the Toronto Blue Jays outfielder. Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, points out: “Well, that and maybe Bautista’s .234 batting average in 2016.” . . . “Won’t it be wonderful,” writes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express, “if Bautista and his inflated ego have to crawl all the way back to Toronto?” . . .

Here’s Hutchinson, again: “The biggest employers in the world are the United States Department of Defence, the People’s Liberation Army in China, Walmart, McDonald’s and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. I’m guessing the Riders are still finding players in basement suites.” . . . One more from Hutchinson: “I flipped on TSN last Saturday and was treated to a U.S. college hockey game between Union, N.Y., and Quinnipiac. There is no punch line.” . . . Meanwhile, I flipped on Hockey Night in Canada on Saturday night and Cassie Campbell-Pascall was one of the analysts for a game between the Winnipeg Jets and the Flames in Calgary. She is married to one of the Flames’ assistant general managers. Hutchinson is right. There is no punch line. . . . 

Torben Rolfsen, who hosts The Rolfsen Report on TSN 1040 Vancouver on Saturday mornings, has an idea for the NHL and its Vegas franchise, which finds itself caught up in a nickname controversy. “At this point,” Rolfsen notes, “the new Vegas NHL team should just call itself the Roughriders. After all, 25 per cent of CFL teams called themselves that for decades and there was never any legal problem.” . . . Headline at Fark.com: Colts coach Chuck Pagano: ‘There’s no trophies for second place.’ Banners conspicuously not mentioned. . . .

Steve Simmons, in the Toronto Sun: “The NHL players who want Olympic participation most are the ones who won’t be playing in Korea. That way, they get two weeks off in the middle of the season. Who wouldn’t vote for that?” . . . Simmons, again: “I feel a whole lot better about Donald Trump, future president, now that Linda McMahon is involved with a significant posting (as head of Small Business Administration). Apparently, Jesse Ventura was otherwise engaged.” . . . Meanwhile, there was this reaction from Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald: “What next? Director of Homeland Security Sergeant Slaughter?” . . .

“Up to 30 inches of snow was predicted for mountaintops in Hawaii,” Dickson wrote early in the week. “Let’s hope we don’t learn that Hawaii has better snow removal than Omaha.” . . . Dickson, again: “The ‘mannequin challenge’ is when someone stands motionless and doesn’t move. In Omaha, this also is sometimes called ‘road construction.’ ” . . . Time magazine has named president-elect Donald Trump its Man of the Year. To which Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong wrote: “Not to be outdone, Twitter is expected to name Donald its Twit of the Year.” . . .

“New York City police say a thief snatched a pot of gold off the back of an unattended armoured truck,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “He was last seen being pursued by three leprechauns.” . . . Currie, again: “Emma Morano, reportedly the world's oldest person at 117, credits her long life to eating two raw eggs daily. Today she lives in an old yokes home.” . . . One more from Currie: “The New York Post is questioning why the NFL has failed to address ‘crass, uncouth social-media behavior’ by players. I think we can rule out lack of evidence.” . . .

After San Antonio dropped a 95-91 decision to the Bulls in Chicago on Thursday, Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich was asked whether he had his players ready to play. His response shows why he is who he is: “Guys get a lot of money to be ready to play. No Knute Rockne speeches. It’s your job. If you’re a plumber and you don’t do your job, you don’t get any work. I don’t think the plumber needs a pep talk. If a doctor botches operations, he’s not a doctor anymore. If you’re a basketball player, you come ready. It’s called maturity. It’s your job.” . . . Following the death of Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, comedian Argus Hamilton noted: “San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick praised Castro as a great humanitarian, automatically triggering the NFL’s concussion protocol.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

NFL should spin goal posts . . . No Rush to get to Saskatoon . . . Marlins like paying managers

You may have heard that the IOC has stripped the U.S. men’s 4x100-metre team of its silver medal from the 2012 London Olympic Games because of Tyson Gay’s doping suspension. As Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post writes: “Good work, IOC: The Americans took 37.04 seconds to finish the race and you took nearly three years to catch up to them.” . . . . New York Yankees starter Chase Whitley is to become the 16th major league pitcher this season to undergo reconstructive surgery to repair an injury to the ulnar collateral ligament in his throwing arm. “The procedure has become so prevalent,” Hamilton notes, “it seems like it’s being done on every Tommy John, Dick and Harry.” . . .

If you didn’t hear, the pooh-bahs at Wimbledon have decided to ban selfie sticks. “Great,” noted Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “Now what’s the Queen supposed to do between sets?” . . . Too bad the pooh-bahs at the French Open didn’t get the memo. . . . Here’s Dickson, again: “Warren Buffett said he began playing ukulele in college to impress a girl. A ukulele to impress a girl? Were all of the oboes checked out? Now that he's acquired some $72 billion, I'm thinking she's impressed.” . . . “The Portage Terriers won the RBC Cup,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, “ending Manitoba’s Junior A hockey championship drought dating back to 1974. Or as the Chicago Cubs call it, just yesterday.” . . .

After the NFL made a rules adjustment, Ray Ratto of CSNBayArea noted: “The only extra-point rule change that would have meant anything is spinning the goal posts during the kick so it's more like miniature golf.” . . . Here’s Ratto on head coach Mike Babcock’s decision to sign with the Toronto Maple Leafs: “He’ll be tunnelling back to Michigan by Christmas.” . . . That’s an interesting on-air crew that ESPN is using for the NBA’s Western Conference final between the Golden State Warriors and Houston Rockets. Analyst Mark Jackson was fired as Golden State’s head coach, while Jeff Van Gundy, the other analyst, once got gunned by the Rockets. . . .

There is speculation that the NLL’s Edmonton Rush is going to end up in Saskatoon. Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express doesn’t think that’s a good idea: “Professional lacrosse will not work in Saskatoon. Period. End of story. Teams in Buffalo and Colorado attract 16,000 people to their games. Calgary averages approximately 12,000. Edmonton had 7,000 at a game last week and is kicking tires for a new home.” . . . According to Hutchinson, “Nickelback is wanted in Australia for ‘crimes against music.’ Isn’t this the country that gave us Air Supply?” . . .  Has anyone told fans of the Edmonton Oilers that they didn’t win the Stanley Cup on Tuesday when Todd McLellan was introduced as their head coach? . . . Of course, the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup on Wednesday — didn’t they? — with the signing of Babcock as their latest head coach. . . . Forgotten in the champagne and caviar and releasing of balloons is that the Oilers missed the playoffs this season. By 36 points. The Leafs? They were 30 points out. . . .

“So do we finally have the real thing in American Pharoah?” wonders Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent. “Or will the Belmont Stakes turn yet another Triple Crown contender into Sam the Sham?” . . . You may have heard that Russian President Vladimir Putin scored eight times in an exhibition hockey game that featured a number of retired stars. As Littlejohn points out: “So much for Mitt Romney and his fight against Evander Holyfield” and “It was captured for posterity by the same photographer who caught Mao swimming the Yangtze.” . . . “Dwyane Wade reportedly wore three outfits at his wedding,” according to Littlejohn. “Was the wedding planner an Oregon Duck grad?” . . .

“Vladimir Putin just gave back Robert Kraft’s Super Bowl ring,” reports comedian Argus Hamilton, “saying if a team can’t play by the rules, it isn’t worth having.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Study: All the games you fall asleep watching have awesome finishes. . . . “Former Baltimore Ravens LB Ray Lewis will release a memoir,” notes Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen. “Will the publisher be DC or Marvel?” . . .

“History will be made when the new span connecting Detroit to Windsor is named in honour of hockey great Gordie Howe,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “It’s believed to be the first Howe-inspired bridge that wasn’t installed by a dentist.” . . . Here’s Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong: “A new bridge connecting Detroit to Windsor will be named after Gordie Howe. Calgary already has a street named after Gordie. It’s Elbow Drive.” . . . One more from Chong: “Newly hired Maple Leafs coach Mike Babcock called the Leafs ‘Canada’s Team’ in his first press conference. Babcock seems to be confused — somebody please tell him that he’s the head coach of Toronto, not Canada’s Olympic team.” . . .

The Miami Marlins fired manager Mike Redmond last Sunday. They ended up putting general manager Dan Jennings in the dugout as the manager. Because they still are paying Ozzie Guillen, who was fired after the 2012 season, the Marlins now have three managers on their payroll. We should also mention that they dumped catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia the other day. They still owe him US$14 million. . . . Now let’s not shed any tears for Miami owner Jeffrey Loria, whose fingerprints, you may recall, were all over the demise of the Montreal Expos. . . . In 20 years with the New York Yankees, Derek Jeter played for three managers. Giancarlo Stanton first played for the Miami Marlins five years ago. He now is playing for his seventh manager — Jennings. . . .

“Police said they found about 1,000 weapons at the Twin Peaks restaurant in Waco after the shootout last weekend,” reports Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “Well, gosh, I can certainly see why Texas lawmakers are pushing to loosen the state’s gun laws.” . . . Here’s Hough, again: “A Norwegian Cruise Line ship that ran aground in Bermuda has been refloated. No word on what NCL might do regarding compensation for the passengers. If it was an airline, it would probably charge for an extra stop.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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Is he Say-Hey-Rod? . . . Now that's a kids meal . . . Gone Daddy for Danica

The New York Islanders’ forwards combined for three shots on goal in their 2-1 loss to the host Washington Capitals in Game 7 of their Stanley Cup series on Monday night. That’s right . . . THREE shots! Yes, we’re back into a dead puck era in the NHL. . . . We learn every spring that when it comes to inconsistency NHL officiating is rivalled only by Canada’s winter weather. But remember one thing — the referees call the game the way the governors and general managers want it called. . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Thunder hoping to hire Cavaliers coach LeBron James as new head coach. . . .

Four shots from Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent. . . . 1. Alex Rodriguez hit his 660th career home run to tie Willie Mays on the all-time list. So is he now Say-Hey-Rod? . . . 2. Things are so rough with the Milwaukee Brewers, Littlejohn reports, that “one player was seen seeking hitting advice from Bob Uecker.” . . . 3. In Alabama, the salaries of high school football coaches are soaring past $120,000 per year. They soon will be on par with Crimson Tide running backs. . . . 4. Q: What do you call it when the IRS is after Plaxico Burress? A: A Plax Evasion. . . .

If you’re like me you’re wondering if head coach Mike Babcock is past his best-before date with the Detroit Red Wings. His contract is up and you have to wonder if the Red Wings will just let him walk. . . . Detroit has lost out in the first round in three of the last four seasons and hasn’t been to the third round since 2009. . . . The Red Wings also have Jeff Blashill with the AHL’s Grand Rapids Griffins, and he is seen as one of the top young coaches in the game. . . .

Here’s Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express: “For 30 years no one has cared about the Pan-Am Games. And now Toronto hosts them.” . . . RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com reports: “Word out of Louisville is one of the Kentucky Derby veterinarians has laryngitis. That’s right, he’s a hoarse doctor.” . . . On the topic of Deflategate, reader Connie G. asked the Cleveland Plain Dealer: “Why is Robert Kraft waiting so long to tell Roger Goodell what the Patriots’ punishment should be?” . . .

Molly Schuyler, a competitive eater, took all of 20 minutes to down three 72-ounce steaks, three baked potatoes, three shrimp cocktails, three salads and three dinner rolls. . . . “Or as they call it in Texas,” said NBC-TV’s Seth Meyers, “a kids meal.” . . . Did we mention that Schuyler weighs in at 120 pounds? With an appetite like that, I can’t imagine her being a cheap date. . . . After covering the NBA playoff series between the Toronto Raptors and Washington Wizards, Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun wrote: “A Washington reporter’s first impression of Toronto: ‘Too many homeless. Everywhere I went somebody was asking me for money.’ ” . . . Hmmm. Must be a Canadian thing. . . .

“While MLB is focusing on pace-of-game issues,” notes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, “maybe they should consider also fining national anthem singers who add several syllables to one-syllable words.” . . . Here’s Hough, again: “So what was the difference between the Toronto Raptors and the Toronto Maple Leafs this year? About a week.” . . . If you watch a game involving the Chicago White Sox and don’t have a dog in the hunt, you just might agree that Ken (Hawk) Harrelson is the funniest thing on TV today. If you aren’t aware, he is the play-by-play man who doubles as the biggest homer in the sporting world today. It has gotten to the point now where his cheering has become absolutely hilarious. . . .

Here’s Arizona Cardinals general manager Steve Keim, before the NFL draft, about how much attention teams should pay to the off-field discretions of prospective players: “If Hannibal Lecter ran a 4.3, we'd probably diagnose it as an eating disorder." . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Draft pick hugs family that will bleed him dry over next 5 years. . . .

“The new University of Nebraska – Omaha arena will have a cannon that fires tacos into the crowd at hockey games,” writes Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “I saw a cannon firing tacos and my first reaction was, ‘These U.S. military cuts have gone too far.’ ” . . . “I was hoping for a Habs-Wings series,” writes Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen, “but Tampa Bay won Game 7, setting up an Original 24 matchup.” . . . “It’s now Gone Daddy,” reports Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong. “Go Daddy is dropping its NASCAR sponsorship for Danica Patrick.” . . .

ICYMI, there was an occurrence in a baseball game on Tuesday that about sums up the state of professional sports and contracts today. In the game in question, Dan Uggla of the Washington Nationals homered to beat the Atlanta Braves. Interestingly, Atlanta is paying Uggla US$12,692,500 this season, making him the highest-paid player on the Braves’ payroll. . . . “The proposed NFL stadium in Carson, Calif., would celebrate Chargers touchdowns by shooting lightning bolts,” notes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “So what’s next — the Bills flinging buffalo chips?” . . .

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Four more bowl games? Really? . . . Did you see the Tebow Eclipse?

The next college football bowl season might feature four more games. Seriously! The cities of Austin, Texas; Little Rock, Ark.; Tucson, Ariz.; and Orlando, Fla., all have applied to play host to games. Should all four be accepted there would be 43 games on the schedule. . . . With that many on tap, the team that misses the CFL playoffs might end up in a bowl game. . . . Outfielder Tyson Gillies of Kamloops was in training camp with the San Diego Padres and now is with the San Antonio Missions of the Double-A Texas League. Gillies, 26, got into two spring-training games with the Padres, going 1-for-1 with a walk. . . .

“Chicago prospect Kris Bryant says he’s ready for the majors,” writes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, “but Theo Epstein and the Cubs say he needs more time in the minors. And how can you argue against a franchise with such a tradition of winning?” . . . “Off the coast of North Carolina,” Hough notes, “a man was rescued from atop his overturned sailboat after being lost at sea for 66 days. Presumably, they’ve already optioned Tom Hanks for the movie.” . . .

“Tiger Woods’ private jet reportedly landed in Augusta,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “Word is its approach was decent, but it took four tries to get it in the hangar.” . . . One more from Currie: “Maryland researchers successfully gave a female rat’s brain the characteristics of a male rat. Now she wanders lost in a maze for hours instead of asking for directions.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Pre-med student gets NHL team-physician job after accurately identifying upper body, lower body. . . .

“There is a report of a ringside seat for Mayweather-Pacquiao selling for $87,000,” notes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. “If I have to pay to watch old guys fight, I’d take Kapp-Mosca over this sham.” . . . If John Garrett’s Vancouver Canucks are going to get through the first round of the playoffs, they are going to have to find a solution for the woes of Henrik Sedin and Linden Vey in the faceoff circles. When you are playing the same team game after game, losing faceoffs the way those two do will wear you out. . . .

Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle is having a tough time as MLB training camps wind down. “I hate the dead-arm period of spring training,” he writes. “I can hardly lift my beer.” . . . “The Sacramento Kings new 7-foot-5, 360-pound center, Sim Bhullar, of Indian descent?” Ostler tweeted. “They're calling him Mahatma Grande.” . . . Ostler followed that with: “Sim Bhullar, in first game of 10-day contract with the Kings, did not play. So it was Bhullar's day off.” . . .

Four items from Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe., Calif., correspondent: “Wrigley Field now has a JumboTron. What's next? The Taj Mahal hosting Keeping Up With The Kardashians?” . . . “Joni Mitchell's reaction to Wrigley Field renovations: 'They paved paradise, And put up a JumboTron.’ ” . . . “The Florida Marlins plan a year-long Back to the Future promotion. Ironic, considering every time they've gotten good, they fire sale their future.” . . . “Saturday morning's lunar eclipse was the briefest total lunar eclipse of this century. They’re calling it the Tebow Eclipse.” . . .

The referee stepped in to stop a recent light heavyweight bout between Marvin Jones and Ramon Luis Nicolas, when a cell phone fell out of Jones’ trunks. “Also falling out of his trunks,” wrote Rick Chandler of SportsGrid.com, “in succession and making a loud clatter: Car keys, horseshoe, nunchucks, loose change, flashlight, several DVDs, framed family photo.” . . . Three rounds later, Jones was on the canvas and out like this phone. . . . “In Quebec,” reports Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald, “thieves broke into a sporting goods store and stole about 100 hockey sticks.  Because it’s Canada, police dropped their investigation into a string of armored car robberies to find the hockey stick thieves.” . . . Dickson, again: “Two visiting Americans were arrested for carving their names into the Roman Colosseum. Is it perhaps time to require an IQ test in order to get a passport?” . . .

Arnold Schwarzenegger was riding a bicycle in Australia when police stopped him because he was helmetless. “If he got a concussion,” wondered NBC-TV’s Seth Meyers, “how would you know?” . . . The Canucks recalled F Sven Baertschi from the AHL’s Utica Comets on Friday and the way social media reacted you might have thought it was the second coming of The Great One. . . . Such is life in Vancouver where the wind blows nicely when the Canucks win. . . .

Conan O’Brien of TBS wasn’t at all impressed by the Notre Dame basketball team’s run to the Sweet 16 in March Madness. As he put it: “I’m sorry, but if I want to watch the Fighting Irish I’ll visit my parents.” . . . “To celebrate a victory in a Russian junior game the other day, players on MHC Loko impersonated a line of tumbling dominoes,” reports Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “The performance resembled NHL teams falling all over themselves to get Connor McDavid.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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Golfers living in gatored community? . . . Hot dog stuffed into a donut?

Someone at the Brisbane, Australia, Courier-Mail asked former heavyweight boxer Joe Bugner, who is 65, what it was like to punch Muhammad Ali in the face. Bugner replied: “Very difficult.” . . . “A picture of a massive alligator taken by a member of Florida’s Myakka Pines Golf Course has gone viral,” reports Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong. “The club’s Facebook page has generated thousands of hits a day. The club invites visitors to play the course but reminds you that its 400 399 members have priority for times.” . . . “Sounds like the exclusive club is located in a gatored community,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. . . .

Here’s a minor league baseball culinary report from Hamilton: “The Wilmington BlueRocks are selling a hot dog (covered in bacon and raspberry jam) stuffed into a Krispy Kreme donut at concession stands this season. Meanwhile, the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers are offering a bacon cheeseburger served between two funnel cakes. Those coronary-inducing offerings could leave patrons dead at the plate.” . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Every single NFL player traded, retired, signed, cut, re-signed over past 24 hours. . . .

“Edward Snowden’s lawyer says the NSA secrets-leaker would consider a return to the U.S. if he could be assured of getting a fair trial,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Or, failing that, a live one-hour sit-down with ESPN’s Jim Gray.” . . . How big is March Madness in the U.S.? Perry informs us that, according to the American Gambling Association, “some 40 million citizens will fill out more than 70 million brackets and wager $9 billion on the upcoming NCAA basketball tournament.” . . . “For comparison’s sake,” Perry adds, “Barack Obama was the No. 1 seed on just 66 million ballots in the 2012 presidential election.” . . .

“When police pulled over a vehicle near Prince Albert, 17 people were found in the truck,” notes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. “My first thought was they were auditioning for the Shrine Circus.” . . . “A San Francisco man claims he is the biological son of Wilt Chamberlain,” reports Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen. “Experts put the chances at about 1 in 20,000.” . . . Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg has made the case that “2015 has started off as a wild year. Two llamas escape, nobody can agree on the colors of a dress, and Harrison Ford has hit more fairways than Tiger Woods.” . . .


“Murray State pitcher John Lollar has an insane high leg kick,” reports contributor Bill Littlejohn. “Scouts call him half-Juan Marichal, half-Inspector Gadget.” . . . One more from Littlejohn: “Researchers from the Université Libre de Bruxelles found that the much-maligned cockroach has its own personality and even displays different character traits.I hear that one even scored a 22 on the Wonderlic test.” . . . Littlejohn, again: “Vlade Divac wants to be the NBA's new flopping czar.Wouldn't that be like putting Lance Armstrong in charge of drug testing at the Tour de France?” . . .

“If Will Ferrell wants to reach an audience larger than the army of hangers-on and star-droolers that surrounded him Thursday in Arizona,” writes Ray Ratto of CSNbayarea.com, “he should seriously crash the NFL Draft and save it from its ponderous, self-important, over-analyzed, leaden, grisly awfulness.” . . . RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com has “a work-saving tip for MLB groundskeepers. Add alcohol to your spring fertilizer — the grass will come up half-cut.” . . .

Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe: “Woman on a bench outside our office, talking loudly on an iPhone speaker about her business deals. So tempting to ask her to speak up a bit so we can take notes.” . . . Here’s Hough, again: “South Dakota may join Idaho, Texas, Utah and Wyoming as states with 80 mph speed limits. Interesting enough, they’re all states you might want to drive like a bat out of hell to get out of.” . . .

“As we wade into March Madness,” writes Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian Pilot, “the blather from ESPN's talking heads would be a little more credible if every sideline drill sergeant wasn't portrayed as an incredible motivator, committed educator, wonderful family man and someone who is only looking out for the welfare of his players. Not a dubious character in the bunch, in other words. College coaching: only geniuses and saints need apply.” . . .

“The Jets traded for receiver Brandon Marshall but still have no decent quarterback,” writes Greg Cote of the Miami Herald. “That’s like someone who can’t cook buying a great set of pots and pans.” . . . Daytime TV star Judge Judy signed on with CBS for another five years the other day. According to TV Guide, she pulls in a cool US$47 million a year. As comedian Argus Hamilton pointed out: “Only Kobe Bryant gets paid more to sit on the bench.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Headline at TheOnion.com: Derrick Rose criticizes grueling 6.5­game season. . . . One more from the gang at TheOnion.com: Wife kept up all night by Kevin Garnett talking trash in sleep. . . . After seeing those photos of Sidney Crosby late in the week, I know that you were as shocked as I was to learn that he had the mumps and not an upper body injury. . . . Baseball star Honus Wagner played 21 seasons in the big leagues and his career earnings are said to be US$138,500. The other day, the 1909 Honus Wagner T206 tobacco card sold at auction for $403,664. . . .

There was speculation, apparently unfounded, that B.C. Lions kicker Paul McCallum had his name in the running as the next head coach of the Regina Rams. With that in mind, Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express wrote: “Message to the selection committee: He’s. A. Kicker.” . . . Is it just me or has the cross-check become an effective, and mostly unpenalized, weapon in the game of hockey once again? . . . Hey, TSN, it’s one thing to have the same NFL game on four channels, but you did it with the Washington Redskins and New York Giants. . . .

You weren’t alone if you thought there were some crazy times at baseball’s winter meetings. “In my 27 years in the business," Miami  Marlins general manager Dan Jennings told ESPN.com, "I don't know that I was ever involved in a crazier 48 hours than this. And it was happening from 11 in the morning to 4 in the morning. Every night." . . . The Los Angeles Dodgers, who are undergoing almost a complete makeover, may have one of those rare management groups that chose to keep the manager and fire the players. . . .

In a span of about five hours, left-hander Andrew Heaney was dealt from the Marlins to the Dodgers and then to the Los Angeles Angels. He then tweeted: “Well, @Dodgers, we had a good run! Great to be a part of such a storied franchise. #thanksforthememories.” . . . Later, Heaney told Greg Beacham of The Associated Press: “Now everybody expects me to be this really funny guy, and I’m like, ‘I don’t know. I don’t  think I’m that funny.’ All of those new followers that I picked up are probably going to be disappointed.” . . .

Yes, it’s true. Pro golfer John Daly is preparing to get married for a fifth time. “Or,” notes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times, “as he prefers to call it, 4-over par.” . . . There is an NFL fantasy league in Australia that sounds like a whole lot of fun. According to Perry, a team owner gets fined a case of beer or a bottle of hard liquor whenever a player on his/her roster gets arrested or suspended. “This year, by Week 6, we had no less than eight cases/bottles owed,” Sam Clohessy, one of the participants, wrote on Facebook. “The running count now is up to 14. It’s going to be a big end­-of­-season party.” . . .

If you haven’t heard, the U of Alabama-Birmingham has pulled the plug on its football program. “A football program that can’t work in Alabama?” wrote Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “That’s like having a failed cheese store in Wisconsin.” . . . The stumbling, bumbling New York Knicks are struggling to learn the triangle offence that is part of Phil Jackson’s repertoire. Dennis Rodman, for one, doesn’t understand why the problems. As he told ESPN: “I learned that in probably 15 minutes when I was in Chicago. It’s not that difficult. It’s a triangle.” . . .

When a Tim Hortons clerk wouldn’t dice the onions, a customer in Saskatoon apparently tossed a live snake behind the counter. RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com doubts that we’ve heard the last of that incident. “Possible docudrama titles,” he suggests, are “3. Fang ’Em High; 2. Snakes on the Plains; 1. Horton Heard a Hiss.” . . . Here’s Currie again: “How about the UK uproar over LeBron James putting his arm around the Duchess of Cambridge’s shoulders during a photo-op? You’d think he was making a no-look pass.” . . . And there was this from Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen: “LeBron James put his hand on Kate Middleton's shoulder. As usual, no whistle.” . . .

There is ample speculation that the NFL’s Oakland Raiders are going to pack up and move to Los Angeles. Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post suggests that “L.A. should decline that penalty.” . . . “A new study indicates sleep problems may result in an increased risk of dementia,” reports Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “Great, one more thing to lay awake worrying about.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)


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Who knew there was a National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum? Well, there isn’t just yet. But organizers are searching for the right location in Milwaukee and hope to have it open in 2016. . . . After the Miami Marlins signed slugger Giancarlo Stanton to that huge contract, Greg Cote of the Miami Herald chimed in with: “A 13-year, $325-million contract means Stanton will ‘earn’ $68,493 per day, year round, before taxes. That’s $2,854 per hour, nonstop, around the clock. That’s $48 a minute. In the time it took you to read the preceding few (lines), I think Stanton just made enough money to buy the Bahamas.” . . .

The WHL’s Saskatoon Blades held a Pucks and Paws night recently, after which RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com wrote: “Summing up Saskatoon's 8-7 OT loss at home to the (Swift Current) Broncos on Pucks & Paws night: 3. A bark-and-forth thriller; 2. Blades late equalizer sends crowd through the woof; 1. Losing in overtime simply arf-ful.” . . . One more from Currie: “Matt Damon confirmed he’ll return once more as agent Jason Bourne. Three suggested titles: 3. The Bourne Inability; 2. Bourne Again; 1. The Bourne Seniority.” . . .

After Tiger Woods kicked it around during his return to competitive golf on Thursday, ESPN’s headline read: Tiger 11 behind leader Spieth. . . . As Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, noted: “11 behind doesn’t sound great. But guess it’s better than saying it another way, that Tiger Woods is last in an 18-man field.” . . . The afore-mentioned Currie writes: “Lindsey Vonn returned to competitive skiing in Alberta while boyfriend Tiger Woods returned to competitive golf in Florida. Of the two, Tiger is going downhill faster.” . . .

Craig MacTavish, the general manager of the Edmonton Oilers, held a news conference Friday morning to discuss the state of his team’s union. The president of the United States should get such media attention when he discusses the state of his country’s union. . . . As Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express put it: “Craig MacTavish called a news conference to say the Edmonton Oilers suck, but will continue down the same path that makes them suck.” . . . MacTavish spent 30 minutes saying a whole lot of nothing, but that didn’t stop Sportsnet, with all those channels to fill with content, from replaying the news conference later in the evening. . . .

“After a round of online voting, the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame has announced its Class of 2014,” reports Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “Joining 2013 inductee Rocky Balboa in the Hall are Crash Davis (of Bull Durham fame), Roy Hobbs (The Natural) and Ricky (Wild Thing) Vaughn (Major League). Better luck next year to the biggest work of fiction in sports history, Barry Bonds.” . . . The price of a gallon of gas has fallen more than $1.50 over the past six months. As comedian Argus Hamilton notes: “Hummers have resumed playing soccer on Sunset Boulevard, with Smart Cars as the ball.” . . .

“Jazz center Enes Kanter will wear a Santa hat and hang out with underprivileged kids in an event called ‘Kanter Klaus,’ ” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “The L.A. Angels, not to be outdone, are bringing back Bobby to host the Grich That Stole Christmas.” . . . One more from Perry: “Only in soccer: Seattle’s Sounders FC ties 0-0 in its final first-round MLS playoff game and advances. Then it wins its final second-round playoff game 2-1 and gets eliminated.” . . . Here’s Perry, again: “Boston University handed out tubes of Crest toothpaste when its hockey team hosted Colgate. Just be glad the Terriers don’t get to schedule Marlboro College.” . . .

In case you missed it, actor Mickey Rourke was back in the ring the other day, beating up an opponent 33 years younger than he is. As Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen pointed out: “Don't the San Antonio Spurs do that every week?” . . . Contributor Bill Littlejohn claims that the 62-year-old Rourke’s “prize move was the Ali Shuffleboard.” . . . “Big week for NASA,” scribbled Ron Judd of the Seattle Times, “whose successful launch and recovery of the Orion space capsule proved beyond a shadow of a doubt we’re halfway back to the capabilities of the Apollo program of 50 years ago.” . . .

Just the other day, Jack Gangwish, a defensive end with the Nebraska Cornhuskers, saw a raccoon on the side of a road so, yes, he decided to take a selfie with it. Yes, the raccoon bit Gangwish, who promptly killed it with a wrench. The raccoon is being tested for rabies, which resulted in Gangish tweeting: “I googled Rabies symptoms. Irritability, muscle spasms, aggressiveness, confusion? I think football gives you Rabies.” . . . It doesn’t appear that NFL teams are in a hurry to sign running back Ray Rice, who on appeal has had his NFL-imposed suspension lifted. “Rice is available to be signed by any NFL team,” noted comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, “but many teams have opted to buy a 10-foot pole instead.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)