Did Blue Jays win World Series already? . . . FIFA in Mob Museum . . . Hanks wants word with Flores

On the ultra-rare occasion you phone a business and a real live person answers, you're hard pressed not to begin weeping with gratitude

— George Johnson (@GeorgejohnsonCH) July 27, 2015

“Russian President Vladimir Putin said Monday that FIFA boss Sepp Blatter deserves the Nobel Prize,” reports Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “Everyone else thinks Blatter deserves the No-Bail Prize.” . . . Have you noticed how Tiger Woods is becoming golf’s answer to the Chicago Cubs? Like the Cubbies, Tiger now teases his fans with a good round or two before he falls back into the pack. . . . “Thank God for @KING5Seattle's weather ‘futurecast’,” tweets Ron Judd of the Seattle Times. “Because ‘forecast’ was just so confusing to so many of us for so long.” . . .
“A woman who won a $188-million lottery jackpot this year in North Carolina was busted last week for marijuana,” reports Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “You’d think with that much money she could afford to move to Colorado.” . . . Hough, again: “The Houston Astros have made Taylor Swift move her tour date at Minute Maid Park from Oct. 13 to Sept. 9 because the team may be headed to the playoffs. Wonder how long it will take for Swift to write a bitter song about the brush-off?” . . . With the struggling Detroit Tigers and Boston Red Sox playing on ESPN last Sunday night, Hough wrote: “I’ll take ‘Matchups that sounded a lot better when they drew up the schedule’ for $400, Alex.” . . .
After Philadelphia starter Cole Hamels threw a no-hitter against the Cubs, the Twitter account @Cubs handled it with: “Dexter Fowler walks twice in loss to Phillies.” . . . It’s fireworks season in Vancouver and Wednesday was Brazil night. Why? Because, as Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen explained, Brazil “had some money to burn between the World Cup and Olympics.” . . . The Seattle Seahawks signed quarterback Russell Wilson to a four-year, US$87.6-million contract on Friday. “Fortunately,” noted Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times, “Seattle citizens still have vastly less-important issues to hold their attention-like education, transportation and health care.” . . .
Is it just me or is Buck Martinez, the always-talking TV voice of the Toronto Blue Jays, trying hard to become the Canadian version of Hawk Harrelson, the professional cheerleader who calls Chicage White Sox’ games? . . . Why else would Martinez be screaming at balls to “get out of here” when a Toronto player hits a long ball? . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Yankees and Red Sox have to be disgusted by Blue Jays trying to buy an AL East title. . . . Did the Blue Jays win the World Series when they beat the bat-less Minnesota Twins on Monday afternoon? . . . Hey, just asking. . . . One more from SportsPickle.com: A-Rod says he wants to play until he’s 45 or baseball begins testing for rare steroid he’s using. . . .
“Jose Canseco says he will live as a woman to support Caitlin Jenner,” reports Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent. “He started by borrowing some leftover stash from Manny Ramirez.” . . . The Mob Museum in Las Vegas has said it will open a FIFA exhibit in September. That led Littlejohn to wonder: “How much did FIFA have to bribe them to get it?” . . . “The first photos of Jason Pierre-Paul's hand have emerge” Littlejohn writes of the New York Giants defensive lineman who suffered injuries during a July 4 fireworks accident. “It looks like we've found the long-lost cousin of Kermit the Frog.” . . .
Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News wonders: “Has any sports owner around here ever had to admit, as John Mara did the other day, that he didn’t know how many fingers one of his star players has?” . . . Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle has a question: “If Pete Rose were a Buddhist, would he be banned for more than one lifetime?” . . . Here’s RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com with a social note: “Tennis stars Maria Sharapova and Grigor Dimitrov have ended their two-year relationship. I can’t help thinking he took Sharapova for grunted.” . . .
Earlier this week, centre Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins was seen serving coffee at a Tim Hortons outlet in Dartmouth, N.S.. That got Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong to wondering: “How does he sleep at night taking away much needed part-time work from CFL players?” . . . Actually, Crosby and Nathan MacKinnon of the Colorado Avalanche were shooting a TV commercial. . . . “New York Mets shortstop Wilmer Flores was shown on TV crying after they told him he had been traded,” Chong writes. “The deal fell through but Tom Hanks still said he wanted to have a few words with young Wilmer.” . . .
Brendan Taman, the general manager of the 0-6 Saskatchewan Roughriders, gave his head coach, Corey Chamblin, a vote of confidence on Monday. . . . That only means that Chamblin shouldn’t be buying any green bananas. . . . Actually, the head coach is signed through 2017 and, while the Roughriders have money in the bank, they aren’t about to spend it by paying someone not to coach for two-plus seasons. . . . NFL training camps are in full swing. "As usual," NBC's Seth Meyers reports, "the New England Patriots camp began with the ceremonial burning of the rule book.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)
There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

“There’s a new reality show called Dating Naked,” notes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “For all those who find The Bachelor and Bachelorette franchises too intellectual.” . . . If Orlando Bloom really did take a swing -- or try to take a swing -- at Justin Bieber, shouldn’t he be nominated as someone’s athlete of the year? . . . “The People’s Choice Awards just announced they will add a special achievement award next year, just for Orlando Bloom,” reports Hough. . . . And then there’s Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News, who writes: “Wouldn’t you like to see that twit Justin Bieber go just one round with Floyd Mayweather?” . . . It seems The Biebs isn’t doing us proud, and who saw that coming? . . .

“A company in India has come up with a ‘smart shoe’ that tracks your footsteps with the help of Google Maps,” claims Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Which means we just might witness the first traveling call in NBA history.” . . . One more from Perry: “ESPN punished First Take talking head Stephen A. Smith for his off-base comments about domestic violence by: a) Suspending him for a week; b) Making him watch all his pre-Super Bowl comments, insinuating that anyone who thought the Seahawks could beat the Broncos is a moron.” . . .

“Dustin Johnson fighting problems like we all do,” tweeted Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register, “but it does cool that arrogant PGA contention that their players are morally superior.” . . . Should we be surprised that there is at least some illicit drug use, and maybe even some sowing of wild oats, on the PGA Tour, which is populated with young men with money? . . . The ironic thing about Johnson’s predicament, which apparently comes after a third positive drug test, is that this is everything his future father-in-law, Wayne Gretzky, was able to avoid throughout his hockey career. . . .

The San Francisco 49ers are preparing to move into the brand new Levis Stadium. And it’s a fancy one. “As a nod to the team’s 49er roots,” writes Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, “each restroom will feature a gold-panning sluice. Nuggets can be exchanged for concession items.” . . . “Heartwarming headline of the week: ‘Tyson, Holyfield patch it up’,” notes Ostler. “With what, Super Glue?” . . . In Gary Bettman’s NHL, the Montreal Canadiens and defenceman P.K. Subban go to arbitration, the team offering US$5.25 million on a one-year deal and the player asking for $8.5 million, and the next day they agree on an eight-year deal worth $72 million. Go ahead and try to figure out how that works. . . .

“The Baltimore Ravens have had five arrests in the off-season,” reports comedy writer Alex Kaseberg. “It is so bad, Netflix is making a series about the Ravens called Orange is the New Purple and Black.” . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Fan at Indians game upset to find someone else In his section. . . . Another one from the gang at TheOnion.com: New study finds running for 20 minutes each day could add years of soreness to life. . . . ICYMI, Manchester United beat Real Madrid 3-1 in a soccer game played before 109,318 fans in the Big House in Ann Arbor, Mich., on Saturday afternoon. Who said soccer would never sell in the Excited States? . . .

Hey, it’s a long weekend. Which means the price of gas in Kamloops went up about six cents a litre on Wednesday. Of course it did. . . . By Saturday afternoon, it had dropped a couple of pennies, leaving us to think about what a good deal it now was. . . . Congrats to the government of Manitoba on its decision to introduce a bill during the fall session of the legislature to name the August civic holiday in honour of the late Terry Fox. A real Canadian hero, Fox was 22 when he died in 1981 during his Marathon of Hope. Yes, 1981. You are entitled to ask what has taken so long and why hasn’t all of Canada jumped all over this? . . .

“Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga have finished recording an album set for release in September,” writes blogger TC Chong. “She wore her meat dress to the recording studio and he brought along his personal chef.” . . . According to Fox-TV’s Jay Glazer, cornerback Terence Newman of the Cincinnati Bengals invited a homeless man to lunch the other day. But then Newman ate some of his guest’s French fries. Of course, the way Adam Hill of the Las Vegas Review-Journal sees it: “At least that’s progress. Ten years ago, a Bengals player would have robbed and shot the homeless guy.” . . .

I finally got around to watching 20 Feet from Stardom, the Oscar-winning documentary that features the great Darlene Love and a number of other veteran backup singers. In a word? Awesome. . . . Want another word? Incredible. . . . Don’t miss it. . . . “The most striking thing about LeBron James's decision to ‘go home’ to Cleveland?” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “It's not the Heat, it's the humility.” . . . Currie again: “Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota’s studies this fall include yoga and golf. A yoga class seems like a stretch, but I can see there being a golf course.” . . .

“I have had a like-dislike relationship with Kent Austin over the years,” confesses Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express, in reference to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats’ head coach. “I am in a dislike mode now. Gosh I enjoy watching him lose and lose it.” . . . Cleveland Browns receiver Josh Gordon has claimed that he has passed at least 70 drug tests. “Problem is,” says contributor Bill Littlejohn, “he’s take more than 1,000.” . . .

The Colorado Rockies held Troy Tulowitzki Night recently and saluted their all-star shortstop by handing out 15,000 uniform tops on which his surname was spelled Tulowizki. “A spokesperson for the team said they would fix it by honouring him with an upcoming bubblehead giveaway,” reports Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen. . . . Adds Littlejohn: “Tulowitzki wasn’t upset his name was spelled incorrectly. But I’m guessing he wishes Rockies had been spelled Y-a-n-k-e-e-s.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Jack Finarelli, aka The Sports Curmudgeon, writing about LeBron James and his pursuit of Michael Jordan’s legend: “Michael Jordan and the Bulls went to the NBA Finals six times. The Bulls won all six of those series AND Michael Jordan was the MVP of the finals all six times. The simple fact is that James cannot meet let alone exceed that standard. James and his teams (Cavs and Heat) have been to the Finals five times. The Cavs/Heat have only won two of those five series. It would seem to me that the only way to exceed 6-for-6 would be to go 7-for-7. That is mathematically impossible.” . . . If you missed it Friday night, the host Ottawa Redblacks got past the Toronto Bluewhites, 18-17, in CFL action. . . .

I always wonder how they figure out these things, but some economists have done the calculations and decided that LeBron’s return to the Cleveland Cavaliers will benefit the local economy to the tune of $500 million. “More importantly for James,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post, “it will inject $21 million a year into his economy.” . . . Babe Ruth’s 1918 contract with the Boston Red Sox sold for $1.02 million the other day. “Out of force of habit,” reports Hamilton, “the Yankees bought it.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Local soccer bar back to just being an Irish pub again. . . .

“Did you see the new rule for the next America’s Cup?” asks Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. “Seriously. The defending champion U.S. team will be allowed a backup boat, but the challenger teams will not. That’s like a World Series where only one team is allowed to have a bullpen.” . . . “Johnny Manziel might be second string in Cleveland,” notes Ostler, “but he’s a starter in Las Vegas, baby. Just before reporting to the Browns, Johnny Football was seen spraying Champagne on Vegas nightclub patrons. How many rookies are willing to put in the time practicing Super Bowl celebrations?” . . .

How bad was the smoke in the Kamloops area on Wednesday? My lungs thought they were smoking Export A’s for the first time since, well, 2003 when the hills around here were aflame. . . . So some guy in the Seattle area was really fed up with this spider he had noticed in his home. So he pulled out a can of spray paint and a cigarette lighter. Before he was done, he had caused $60,000 in fire damage to his home. . . . Gotta wonder when his spidey senses kicked in and told him it was hot in there. . . . No word on whether the spider survived. . . . “And once again,” wrote Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, “somewhere Darwin is saying, ‘Missed it by that much.’ ” . . .

A question from Hough: “Who's done the better acting job in last month? The floppers of the World Cup or the millions of Americans who pretended to care about soccer?” . . . During Tuesday’s MLB All-Star game, this tweet was sent out by @CBSNews: “Michael Jeter takes bow at his final All-Star game.” To which Hough responded: “Wonder if Michael’s brother is any good?” . . . I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a problem with NL starter Adam Wainwright putting a fastball on a tee for AL shortstop Derek Jeter in the All-Star Game. . . . But I still have a problem with MLB using the All-Star Game to determine home-field advantage in the World Series. . . . Because of that, baseball still will be talking about that one pitch during the October-November Classic. . . . Contributor Bill Littlejohn says he’s heard that Wainwright’s “new walk-up music just became ‘Groovin’ on a Sunday Afternoon’ ” . . . In case you missed it, Lindsey Vonn and Roger Federer played some tennis the other day, atop a glacier in the Swiss Alps. “Federer was supposed to play Maria Sharapova,” noted Littlejohn, “but officials worried her grunting could have triggered an avalanche.” . . .

Mike Lupica, in The New York Daily News: “A friend of mine said that it might take Heat fans, as casual as they are about when they show up for games, until the middle of November to notice that LeBron is actually gone. And that’s without traffic.” . . . If you’re looking for a good read, you can’t go wrong with Up, Up & Away: The Kid, The Hawk, Rock, Vladi, Pedro, Le Grand Orange, Youppi!, The Crazy Business of Baseball, & the Ill-fated but Unforgettable Montreal Expos. If you were a fan of the Expos, author Jonah Keri will put you through an emotional wringer, especially when he reminds you how close this team came to being -- dare we say it? -- a dynasty. . . .

How loud was the celebration in Germany after the World Cup? “It was so noisy in Berlin,” reports comedy writer Alan Ray, “the CIA could barely hear to eavesdrop.” . . . “Russia is hosting the next World Cup,” notes syndicated columnist Norman Chad. “Of course, by 2018 the Russian empire could extend west to Poland and east to Alaska, so host cities are up in the air. Warsaw and Anchorage should be on high alert!” . . . Last weekend in sports is wrapped up by NBC’s Seth Meyers: “LeBron went back to being a Cavalier, Carmelo went back to being a Knick, and soccer went back to being a thing you drive your kids to.” . . . “So, hot-dog eating champ Joey Chestnut is about to be married?” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Our condiments to the bride.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Ron Judd of the Seattle Times admits that he’s giddy “with excitement to see Steve Ballmer, who gave the world Windows 8.Huh?, realize a lifelong dream of joining the disorganized-crime syndicate that is the NBA. And anything he can do to keep its back-stabbing scalawags away from Seattle is welcomed.” . . . More from Judd, as he named his Entrepreneurs of the Decade: “Record executive Jimmy Iovine and Beats co-founder Dr. Dre, who conned Apple into paying $3 billion for their business, which markets the equivalent of $29 Radio Shack headphones to young-sucker consumers for $299 a pair. God bless America.” . . .

If you missed it, the air-conditioning unit malfunctioned at the arena in San Antonio so things got a little warm during Game 1 of the NBA final on Thursday night. The San Antonio Spurs beat Miami by 15 points, with Heat star LeBron James cramped up and unable to finish. The Spurs, Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong noted, “now are planning to install heated benches for the visitors in Game 2.” . . . On Twitter, someone sniped at Gatorade because of James’s problems. Gatorade’s Twitter account responded with: “The person cramping wasn’t our client. Our athletes can take the heat.” . . . James’s endorsement deal is with Powerade. . . . Gatorade later apologized. . . . Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “The reaction to James’ cramping, in the sports media and social media, was so patently ridiculous you actually felt yourself getting dumber just trying to follow it all. In the end, it was noise. But then, more and more, that’s the object of the game, isn’t it?” . . .

Here’s Lupica, again: “Is that a new hairstyle for Lady Gaga or a science experiment gone horribly wrong?” . . . And one more from Lupica: “Edge of Tomorrow is supposed to be Tom Cruise’s greatest action flick since he was jumping up and down on the edge of Oprah’s couch.” . . . “Is it true,” Chong wonders, “that matchmakers in Dallas are being inundated with requests from Cowboys fans to hook up V. Stiviano with Jerry Jones?” . . .

“Jacques Cousteau’s grandson is going underwater for 31 days starting next week,” reports Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “It will be a record for the longest time anyone has spent down in the depths. Well, other than the Chicago Cubs.” . . . Hough, once again: “After 90 years, WGN radio has decided not to carry the Chicago Cubs anymore. So have they decided to go with programming that’s more likely to have a happy ending, like opera?” . . .

Chad Greenway, a linebacker with the Minnesota Vikings, dove into Lake Minnetonka the other day and helped rescue two boaters, one of whom turned out to be a fan of the Chicago Bears. “Good thing he told me that afterward,” Greenway told Minneapolis TV station KARE. . . . “John Daly estimated he has lost $55 million gambling,” writes Greg Cote of the Miami Herald. “After giving that some thought, he immediately wagered $10,000 on the ‘over.’ ” . . . Contributor Bill Littlejohn claims that ““MLB and Joe Torre have warned Dodger pitchers to pick up their pace, as their games are getting too long. They first became aware when arriving fans at Dodger Stadium started getting there in the first inning instead of the usual third” . . .

So . . . when you were a kid playing road hockey, you always dreamed of playing in overtime of a Stanley Cup final game. Right? But, hey, what’s it really like? During Game 1 of this year’s final, Washington Capitals forward Dustin Penner tweeted: ““The feeling of playing in a game like this is a cross between constipation and explosive diarrhea.” . . . “ESPN tennis analysts said Canadian Eugenie Bouchard plays like a younger Maria Sharapova,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “Well, other than Bouchard being shorter by four inches and quieter by 104 decibels.” . . . One more from Currie: “Cyclist Eloy Teruel pumped his arms to celebrate taking the Tour of California’s seventh stage — one lap too soon. He ended up 56th. A classic case of premature gesticulation.” . . .

In Moses Lake, Wash., a goof trying to rob a convenience story lost out to an 89-year-old woman with a golf club in her hands. As Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News put it: “Otherwise known as the ‘Elin Nordegren manoeuvre.’ ” . . . “It’s Los Angeles versus New York for Lord Stanley’s Cup,” writes James Montgomery in compiling Rolling Stone‘s weekly Everything Index. “Regardless of who wins, you can bet someone will be filling it with an artisanal cocktail.” . . . One more from the Everything Index: “Biebs apologizes after video of him telling racist joke surfaces. He should probably also apologize for that mustache too.” . . . “Little League Baseball, founded in 1939, turns 75 this year,” notes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Coincidence? Just one year later, the very first Dairy Queen opened.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “I love watching the Masters every year, and always think that the last day of the Masters is the Super Sunday of golf. But it really is fun every year listening to the golfers and the announcers talk about a golf course like it’s church, isn’t it? And not just any church. Like the Vatican, that kind of church.” . . . Former Kamloops Blazers goaltender Cole Cheveldave, who was traded to the Prince Albert Raiders last summer, will attend Saint Mary’s U in Halifax and play for the Huskies next season. . . .

Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald, writing about an event of last week: “On Friday, the Syracuse Chiefs, a AAA baseball team, are hosting ‘Deport Justin Bieber Night.’ It’s just nice to see one minor league team stop with the dumb promotions and delve into important social commentary.” . . . The New York Yankees turned a triple play against the host Tampa Bay Rays on Thursday. It was the third triple killing by the Yankees’ defence since 2010, each one coming with CC Sabathia on the mound. . . .

So if you aren't cheering for the Montreal Canadiens, the lone Canadian team in the Stanley Cup playoffs, does that mean you are a Canadien but not a Canadian? . . . The CFL’s Saskatchewan Roughriders gave quarterback Darian Durant a contract extension this week. “The deal is said to involve multiple years and all the water he can walk on,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. . . . The water will disappear after Durant throws his first interception. . . . Here’s Currie again: “A pair of Wall Street financiers bought Milwaukee’s last-place NBA team for $550 million. There’s a shrewd investment: over half a billion dollars to get a few lousy Bucks.” . . .

“Chad Johnson signs with Montreal Alouettes,” tweeted Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register, “(and) changes name to Chad Quatre-vingt-cinq.” . . . The afore-mentioned Currie is disappointed that the Als no longer play in Olympic Stadium. As he put it: “The Big O-chocinco has a ring to it.” . . . According to Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong, Graham DeLaet of Weyburn, Sask., wasn’t too disappointed when he missed the cut at the Masters. Why not? As Chong explained: “He already owns quite a few green jackets, even though they all say John Deere on the front.” . . .

“I kind of like Brian Burke’s hedgehog look,” notes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. . . . Is that what that look is called? . . . . If you’ve been watching, you will know that Major League Baseball’s new system of reviewing plays has a few bugs in it. As Kevin Paul Dupont of the Boston Globe tweeted: “MLB replay system. More bugs than a $19-a-nite hotel room.” . . . “Well,” notes Janice Hough, aka the Left Coast Sports Babe, “Boston manager John Farrell has become the answer to a future trivia question – the first MLB ejection that resulted from arguing about a replay ruling. Are we shocked that it was about a call that went in favour of the Yankees?” . . .

Kelly Olynyk, the pride of Kamloops, has finished up a pretty good first season with the NBA’s Boston Celtics. The 7-footer definitely showed improvement as the season went on. On April 12, he put in what was then a career-high 25 points and added eight rebounds, seven on the defensive boards, as the Celtics beat the Cavaliers 111-99 in Cleveland. More impressively, he started and played 38:52. . . . On Monday, he started again, playing 35:17, and scoring 28 points and adding nine boards, in a 113-108 loss to the Sixers in Philadelphia. . . . The Celtics wrapped up their season at home on Wednesday, losing 118-102 to the Washington Wizards. Olynyk started and had a team-high 24 points and seven rebounds. . . . For the season, he averaged 20.0 minutes, 8.7 points, 5.2 rebounds and 1.6 assists over 70 games. The Celtics, in rebuilding mode, finished 25-57 and well out of the playoffs. . . . Olynyk is expected to spend some time with Canada’s men’s team this summer, but he also will be back in Kamloops. His annual Olynyk Klynyk is scheduled for Aug. 16-20. . . .

“We keep hearing about players with ‘flu-like symptoms,’ ” notes Phil Mushnick of the New York Post. “How are they treated, with cure-like remedies?” . . . You may have been watching last week when starter Michael Pineda of the New York Yankees had something that sure looked like pinetar on one hand. That got Mushnick to recalling an anecdote involving writer Phil Pepe, who covered the Yankees. As Mushnick wrote: “Pepe recalled when Jim Kaat was accused of applying a ‘foreign substance’ to the ball. ‘It’s not a foreign substance,’ said Kaat. ‘It comes from North Carolina.’ ”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.

The Hobey Baker Award is given annually to the top player in U.S. college hockey; the John R. Wooden Award goes to the top U.S. college basketball player. I don’t know what this means but there are two Canadians among the 10 nominees for the Hobey Baker Award this season, while three of the 15 Wooden Award finalists are Canadians. . . . There apparently is new research out there that tells us loss of sleep may cause brain damage. As Janice Hough (aka The Left Coast Sports Babe) puts it: “Great, another thing to lay awake at night worrying about.” . . .

“British Parliament has nixed a mouse-catching feline over fears it’ll get obese on MPs’ leftovers,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “Really? If they're like Canadian MPs, who’s going to notice another fat cat?” . . . One more from Currie: “Two Oscar voters anonymously admitted to picking 12 Years a Slave for best picture despite never seeing the film. They were busy judging Olympic figure skating.” . . .

The Washington Nationals were using a drone to film spring training workouts in Florida until the Federal Aviation Administration put a stop to it. An anonymous team official told The Associated Press: “No, we didn’t get it cleared, but we don’t get our pop flies cleared either and those go higher than this thing did.” . . . Mike Iaconelli is a pro fisherman who has told SI.com that he rarely eats his catch. “The thing about eating bass is this: You don’t eat your competition . . .,” Iaconelli said. “It’s been said before, but a cowboy doesn’t eat his horse.” . . .

So there was this poker game the other night and after it was over, the big loser, a guy from New Zealand, changed his name to Full Metal Havok More Sexy N Intelligent Than Spock And All The Superheroes Combined With Frostnova. . . . They say there may have been some booze involved in that poker game. Gee, you think? . . . Someone on Twitter asked running back Arian Foster of the Houston Texans to pick a winner in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. His response: “Ncaa will win. They’ll get billions, players get a trophy.” . . .

Word on the street is that Vancouver Canucks’ single-game tickets can be had for as little as $40. As Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong notes: “If you’re really lucky, when the guy gives you the ticket and the 40 bucks, he’ll throw in a parking pass as well.” . . . Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees reportedly owes his attorneys $4 million. According to Chong, “Collection agencies are considering sending him baseballs with their phone numbers on them.” . . .

Mike Lupica spent at least some of last weekend watching TV, after which he wrote: “You watch some of these conference tournaments right now in college basketball, if you actually even know what conferences you’re watching, and you know what you see? You see empty seats, from coast to coast, and thus see for yourself what greed can do to a great sport.” . . . As for cornerback Darrelle Revis leaving the New York Jets for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and now the New England Patriots, after saying he never wanted to leave the Big Apple, well, here’s Lupica again: “He will be working on his third team in three years, to the point where you think the guy plans to tour the country like he’s Holiday on Ice.” . . .

Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express isn’t a fan of the changes being implemented at the next Brier. He explains: “The Brier should remain a national event with all 10 provinces and a representative from our territories participating. If there is to be a Team Canada, then remove Northern Ontario from the mix. Or, depending on the election, dump Quebec.” . . . Former NBA coach Stan Van Gundy is doing TV work these days (don’t all unemployed coaches head for TV?) and was working a college basketball the other day when the officials huddled around a TV set with 1:16 left in regulation time in a search for video evidence to support an in-bounds call. Here’s Van Gundy’s take: “You want all the calls to be right. Why does the call in the last two minutes have to be right, if you’re going to make mistakes in the first 38 minutes? That’s what I don’t get. I don’t like any rule that only applies to certain points in the game.” . . . The man has a point. . . .

If you happen to attend an Arizona Diamondbacks home game this season, you may want to consider having a D-bat Dog. What is it? An 18-inch corn dog that includes bacon, cheese and jalapenos, along with chipotle ketchup and spicy mustard. It also comes on a bed of french fries. Oh yes, it’ll set you back $25, antacid not included. . . . When a writer for the New York Daily News inquired about a calorie count, the response he got was: “We’re still counting. Stand by. . . .” He’s still waiting. . . . “Now that Courtney Love has claimed she has found Malaysian flight 370,” scribbles comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, “shouldn’t we put her to work finding Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart and the Los Angeles Lakers’ offence?”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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The Vancouver Canucks have gone from Roberto Luongo and Corey Schneider as their goaltending tandem to Eddie Lack and Jacob Markstrom, and you may want to think about how that happened. . . . You also may want to ponder what sank quicker, the Canucks or the Titanic. . . . Is it just me, or have the Sedin twins all but lost their games in less than a year? Did they grow old in hockey years before we knew it? Does head coach John Tortorella’s shot-blocking, grinding style disagree with them that much? . . . BTW, the Canucks owe each of the Sedin boys four more seasons at $7 million per. . . .

“Kazakhstan finished last in the medal count with one bronze at Sochi,” writes Richmond blogger TC Chong. “Richard Petty said they would have won it all if no one else showed up.” . . . Shades of O.J.: In South Africa, a 24-hour TV channel dedicated to Oscar Pistorius’ murder trial went on the air last Sunday. . . . Mike Lupica, in the New York Daily News: “My feeling on LeBron’s mask: Hey, aren’t Marvel superheroes supposed to LOOK like Marvel superheroes?” . . .

Steve Simmons, in the Toronto Sun: “Word around the Olympics was that Rogers is targeting CBC star George Stroumboulopoulos to host its NHL broadcasts next season after it couldn’t secure James Duthie. And it’s all but been confirmed that Paul Romanuk will be Rogers’ second play-by-play man, after Jim Hughson in the No. 1 chair.” . . . Romanuk, a former TSN hockey play-by-play voice, has been in London, England, for the past few years. . . . I haven’t got my hands on a copy yet, but you can bet that I’ll read His Ownself: A Semi-Memoir, from the legendary Dan Jenkins. The book hit the shelves on Tuesday. . . .

“Don't really understand the mass appeal of outdoor hockey games,” tweeted Dave Molinari of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette as the Penguins and Blackhawks played in a Chicago snowstorm last weekend, “but assume it has nothing to do with the exceptional quality of play.” . . . Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register chimed in with: “Good job, Bettman. Let's don't have Olympic hockey. Let's have fiasco hockey in a snowstorm instead.” . . . I really need someone to explain to me just how it is that Toronto’s mayor is still in office. . . . And while they’re at it, they can explain to me how Russia rattles sabres in Ukraine and the price of gas in Kamloops jumps from $1.20.9 to $1.33.9. . . .

Here’s Mark Cannizzaro of the New York Post, writing about Tiger Woods before the final round of last week’s Honda Classic: “Now, however, the familiar refrain for Woods is one of a player grasping at straws, one of a player who is reluctant to accept his new reality. Woods, in bad times and in good, now sounds a lot more like the masses of weekend amateurs who are in constant search of their elusive game, never knowing what’s coming with the next swing.” . . . Former San Francisco outfielder Barry Bonds is working with the Giants as a hitting coach during spring training. “Let’s just hope all of that attention and power doesn’t give Barry a big head,” offered comedy writer Alex Kaseberg. . . .

During the recent NFL Combine, Auburn defensive end Dee Ford, speaking on Sirius XM radio, took a shot at South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney. “People are just looking at the fact that he is a physical specimen,” Ford said. “Honestly, if you watch the film, he plays like a blind dog in a meat market, basically.” . . . How did Clowney react to that? “I just feel like he’s trying to build his stock up or something,” Clowney told the NFL Network. “It doesn’t bother me, but I told him, ‘I’m still better than you.’ ” . . . Hey, Capital One, it’s time to retire that commercial with Martin Short in it. Please! . . .

So . . . Larry Brooks of the New York Post wrote about 10 days ago that the Rangers had attempted to get forward Martin St. Louis from the Tampa Bay Lightning in exchange for their captain, Ryan Callahan. . . . That prompted this response from Phil Esposito, a Lightning broadcaster, who was appearing on The Next Sports Star: "Some (bleep) in New York that writes for the New York Post, and we all know who he is, decided, 'Let me put something out there so maybe we can start some controversy.' It's a bunch of (bleep). It's been going on for as long as I've been in the game of hockey . . . Don't give me this (crap) you're going to trade Marty St. Louis, who has a no-movement clause, he doesn't want to leave, for Callahan, who's a kid, I like him, he's a heart-and-souler, but he couldn't score more than 25 or 30 goals in his (bleeping) lifetime, and he doesn't play all the time because he gets hurt, because he plays like he's 6-foot-5." . . . Of course, Brooks fired back: “If Phil Esposito feels obligated to talk about me on the radio, perhaps he would like to tell the story about the time he spent an elevator ride in the Garden kicking me in the back of the legs because he was upset with something I had written the previous day. At least that would be accurate.” . . . And then, come Wednesday’s NHL trade deadline, guess what happened? Yes, St. Louis ended up with the Rangers, with Callahan going the other way. . . . Atta boy, Espo! . . .

“Men’s curling in Saskatchewan is at an all-time low. Again,” writes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. “Pat Simmons, our best curler, plays in Alberta. And two Albertans have twice come to our province to cherry pick a pass to the Brier. It worked once. A handful of provinces are sending pros and we are sending the equivalent of good club teams. We’ve won seven Briers in 75 years. Not good enough. Maybe the Richardsons will consider a comeback.” . . . The Los Angeles Dodgers will have Larry King (yes, that Larry King) playing host to a show on their 24/7 TV network. The show will be called Larry King At Bat. “Presumably,” notes Janice Hough (aka the Left Coast Sports Babe), “Larry hopes to get as a regular guest that nice young man Vin Scully.” . . .

When the Canucks dealt goaltender Roberto Luongo to Florida on Wednesday, it looked for a while as though Luongo and protagonist Tim Thomas would be the Panthers’ goaltenders. Asked how the two of them would get along, Luongo responded: “I always get along with my backups.” . . . Thomas was later dealt to the Dallas Stars. . . . “Just woke up in a cold sweat from the ultimate Sochi nightmare,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “As in, tennis scream queen Maria Sharapova decided to take up curling.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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With Canada winning both gold medals in Olympic hockey, Prime Minister Stephen Harper won two cases of beer from U.S. President Barack Obama. As Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post put it: “Harper had better be asking for cases of Molson Golden.” . . . With former NHLer Sean Avery having been selected to appear on Dancing With The Stars, Hamilton pointed out: “It’s ironic that Avery has agreed to compete on the show. When he played, he refused most of the invitations he received to dance.” . . . Tim Hortons plans on adding 500 outlets in Canada over the next five years. You mean there are 500 places in Canada in need of one? . . .

Michael Rosenberg, at SI.com: “Americans generally chafe at any sport that is judged, but judges contributed so much to the American medal count in Sochi, the USOC should pursue lifetime appointments, like we have for Supreme Court justices.” . . . LeBron James, who once worked in Cleveland, and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo apparently chatted last week. During that conversation, James is said to have given Romo some advice on how to ignore criticism. According to James, he told Romo not to watch ESPN. . . . To which ESPN’s Bob Ley tweeted: “Help me here, @KingJames. ‘Don’t watch ESPN.’ -- except when you’re the focus of a 1 hr show announcing your free agent destination?” . . . Ley wins that one, with a slam dunk. . . .

Headline at TheOnion.com: Sochi’s Euthanized Dogs To Be Returned To Streets After Olympics. . . . If you were starting an NHL team and could have either Sidney Crosby or Jonathan Toews, which one would you take? . . . It’s nice that so many hockey coaches are using Team Canada’s defensive play as an example for their own teams. But how many of those coaches have access to that kind of talent? . . . “Now that Robinson Cano is making the kind of money he’s making with the Mariners,” writes Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News, “I think he should just hire somebody to run out ground balls for him.” . . .

Here’s Will Leitch of Sports on Earth, with his take on curling after the Olympic Winter Games: “Curling is super fun, particularly on television, where its inherent goofiness is both intriguing and, ultimately, soothing. (I find it comforting and an easy transition into a pleasant nap.) But in person, there are four games going on at once, and if you think you have a hard time following one curling match, try understanding four. The games also take nearly three hours, the first two of which are almost entirely setup. And they do three of these a day . . . a full day of curling, with three matches, can last up to 14 hours. I like curling, but that's a lot of curling. Also, in Sochi, they didn't sell alcoholic beer at the curling venue, which defeats half the purpose.” . . .

After Adelina Sotnikova skated to gold in the ladies’ singles figure-skating event in Sochi, Conan O’Brien of TBS noted: “The Russian skater said she was inspired by her family, her coaches and what happened to the losing — and now missing — Russian men’s hockey team.” . . . It seems that New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter and model Hannah Davis are an item again. As Fark.com put it: “Apparently he’s batted around and is back to the top of the order.” . . .

In case you think Major League Baseball’s pot of gold is running out consider that during the offseason the Atlanta Braves spent US$280.7 million on first baseman Freddie Freeman, right fielder Jason Heyward, closer Craig Kimbrel, shortstop Andrelton Simmons and starter Julio Teheran. . . . We should find out something about the Seattle Mariners in the early part of the baseball season. They will meet the Oakland A’s, the defending AL West champs, six times before May 8. As well, Seattle will play 11 of its first 27 games at home. . .

“Sadly unrealized was my Olympic dream,” writes Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, “in which the U.S. men win the hockey gold medal, beating Russia 1-0, the goal caroming off Vladimir Putin’s forehead as he leans over the glass, and after the game the guy who scored the goal comes out as gay.” . . . Here’s Jack Finarelli, aka The Sports Curmudgeon, with, we think, tongue planted firmly in cheek: “By the way, how come the IOC has not jumped in on dogsled racing as an Olympic event? In fact, there could be multiple events from ‘sprints’ to multi-day competitions. If horse jumping can be an Olympic sport for the Summer Games, why not dogsled racing for the Winter Games?” . . .

During the Olympic Winter Games, Sir David Attenborough, a veteran British broadcaster who is perhaps best known for narrating documentaries, was asked to do some play-by-play during a curling game that involved Great Britain’s women’s team. Here’s part of it: “And off she goes: gently but flamboyantly launching the oversized walnut down the frozen river. The alpha female’s job is complete. It’s now up to the herd to frantically follow the walnut down the river, gently frisking the foreground.” . . . Take that, Vic Rauter!

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at gdrinnan.blogspot.ca and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

There has never been a subscription fee for this blog, but if you enjoy stopping by here, why not consider donating to the cause? Just click HERE. . . and thank you very much.